Jan. 24th, 2017

bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
I've been feeling weird these last few days. Current events? Inexplicable insomnia? Hormones? The anxiety of returning to "real life" after a 9-day break? All of the above? Who knows. I had a sort-of-nightmare the other morning and have been skirting the edge of That Feeling at bedtime, which I should write about again one of these days.

(I've done some reading since that last post and found some similarities to my experience in descriptions of the auras that can precede temporal lobe seizures, although I don't have seizures. Even if it's not the same as what's been happening to me, I did derive comfort from hearing that one of the features of the psychic/experiential components of such auras is that they're hard to describe. The only consistent trigger pattern I've been able to piece together is a combination of exhaustion and exposure to some media manifestation of raw male sexuality that elicits an attraction-repulsion response, but why the phenomenon doesn't occur every time those factors coincide remains a mystery.)

This time, it was set off by the hair of a low-budget Fabio-type guy in an, er, adult video clip. Last time, May 2016, it happened while hearing the opening lines of "I Found" by Amber Run as the long-haired actor in the music video* got out of the car and opened the front door to the house. See also: Yul Brynner in the dream sequence in Futureworld, Maman coming into the room in one particular scene in Slumdog Millionaire, Guy Pearce's face in part of [personal profile] elipie's haunting On My Way Home (Two Brothers) vid, the chorus of Linkin Park's "Castle of Glass," all the examples in the previous post…

*warning: kidnapping.

Okay, I guess I'm writing about it now and not later. :)

ETA: Hmmmmmmm, on further reading it sounds like "aura" for temporal lobe epilepsy can mean the experience preceding a complex partial seizure (loss of consciousness, twitching/lip smacking, language difficulty, etc.) OR the description of a simple partial seizure/focal seizure itself. So maybe the latter is what is going on?? How nice it would be to put a term to this.

ETA 2: Follow-up post
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
First of all, thank you to everyone who posted photos or descriptions of your experiences at Saturday's marches.

After much angst, I chose to stay with my mom rather than to go the NYC rally. In the end, that turned out all right. The marches clearly had robust attendance, and while at home I was able to open my mom's eyes to the scale of the movement and the nature of the marchers' concerns—she hadn't known about the events at all and said she'd never seen anything like it, even given the Vietnam protests of the '60s—and spend more time debating her boyfriend, a staunch conservative who honest to goodness argued with TV coverage by shouting, "What about white people?" and "All lives matter!"

Not to mention that having all-day news and social media access gave us clearer access to speakers, performers and commentators and a broader perspective across the nation and the world than would have been possible while packed into a crowd.

Instead of berating myself for being on that day the sort of complicit bystander we decry in history classes, I try to remind myself that witnessing is also important.

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Executive orders. Cabinet confirmations. Federal hiring freezes and gag rules.* Lies and distractions and tangled-up media relations. Standing Rock now, too, OMG. I only have so many dollars to donate, so one of the things I did today was ask the [tumblr.com profile] FandomTrumpsHate mods to extend an invitation to the runner-up in my vid auction in addition to the winner. We'll see if she's interested. If I can raise $210 for charity, that's another drop in the bucket of resistance. Or some metaphor that makes more sense.

I'll definitely be making a vid for the winner, though: [personal profile] deelaundry! We are discussing options.

*I worked at an HHS agency for several years; I'm very glad I'm not there right now, for both practical and ideological reasons. Friends who are Feds or contractors, I hope you know my thoughts are with you.

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I've created a new DW/LJ tag, "politics," both for organization purposes and so those of you who want to can unsubscribe from it. That said, I still intend for this journal to remain primarily a fannish space.

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And now for something a little lighter.

A few months back, Dee gave me a Liz Climo 2017 daily calendar. It is punching above its weight in emotional support. Today's cartoon is going to get tacked to the bulletin board:

image behind the cut )

Meanwhile, Mr. [personal profile] deelaundry gifted me a subscription to a monthly spice mix service. I had never belonged to one of those food-by-mail clubs before and wasn't sure what to expect, but the first trio of envelopes arrived yesterday and it’s a winner: four types of red chiles ground together, a cumin-oregano rub, and za'atar, with recipes curated by the head chef of the marvelous café at the National Museum of the American Indian. I have a baggie of sumac in the kitchen, but you can never have enough.

Tonight, hoping to finish the last Festivids treat. Golive on Saturday is a light at the end of the week.

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