bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
Need to write the last part of the Star Trek con report (cast panels!) but not at the moment. Just wanted to say:

(1) Started N.K. Jemisin's The Fifth Season this week. Bit of initial... what's the term for when there's a hump to get over and then things are good? Anyway, I'm enjoying it now. I was trying to figure out who this one character, Essun, reminds me of, and realized it's Chava from The Golem and the Jinni. Brief elaboration. I don't consider this a spoiler but just in case; mentions vague stuff from <75 pages in. ) It's got me picturing Essun as large-framed now, even though I don't think her physique was described.

(2) Been watching movies again, both features and documentaries and in one case a blend of the two (Jafar Panahi's Taxi). Was surprised and delighted by how much I enjoyed this one movie, Wildlike, starring Bruce Greenwood and Ella Purnell. It found a whole panel of my buttons and pressed them. plot description, could be considered spoilery? ) I clutched my hands to my chest in joy during the last maybe ten minutes. And then the credits rolled to one of my favorite Alexi Murdoch songs. ♥ I don't even know what to do with my happiness about it besides luxuriate in it and read reviews. There's no fic to read, I don't think I have a fic in me to write, a vid wouldn't add anything, and rewatching the movie wouldn't replicate the experience.

(3) Still thinkin' about [community profile] festivids requests. I've got four movies (Queen Margot, Stranger by the Lake, Farewell My Concubine, Gods and Monsters) and one book (The Golem and the Jinni ♥), but am stumped on the last. This year I really only want to ask for things where any one of them would feel like my top choice if I got it. Haven't figured out a sixth one that would match the others. :/ Priest, maybe? The Linus Roache one, I mean. Not sure.

Are any of you asking for movies? Maybe there's something I can watch in the coming weeks to expand my repertoire of offers.

(4) Meta rec: On the Subject of Noncon Fanworks: Thoughts of a Reader, Writer, Survivor by Anarfea. Spectacularly cogent, moving essay about personal history, the difficulty of untangling experienced abuse from a penchant for power exchange/rape fantasy, the internal and external conflicts that happen before and after writing and posting a noncon story, noncon fic tagging and shaming in Sherlock fandom and beyond, and more. I'm out of oomph so if you are curious about my personal reaction just scroll down to my comment on her post. h/t to [twitter.com profile] krytella and [twitter.com profile] lurrel for the link.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (RSL neil window)
I had a great weekend at [livejournal.com profile] con_txt. It was so nice to see friends again, and to make some new acquaintances.

I was concerned about the programming because I haven't been feeling enthused about any particular canon on the docket in a communal-fannish way lately, and because mass squee can be scary; but there turned out to be plenty of meta panels and entertaining moderators to make the experience enjoyable.

I also appreciate how, while con.txt is a slash con by definition, those of us who do not exclusively enjoy slash are welcomed and able to have discussions about a variety of sexual identities and relationship types in fandom (and life), plus gen topics.

In case you are interested, I jotted down some notes. Nothing fancy or thorough. con-txt.net has panel descriptions and mod names.

Werewolf Torts and Undead Annuities )

Small Fandom Dating Game )

Fannish Pictionary )

Vid Show )

Monetizing Fandom )

Inverting Tropes )

D/s in Fandom )

Not My Fandom's OTP )

Awesome Robots )

Checking in on the Fannish Diaspora )

Small Fandom and Between-Fandom Support Group )

Dubcon F***ing: How Does It Work )

Rule 34 in a Magical Universe )

Bi-invisibility )

Also attended a panel about tagging and another about AUs.


Note to self: Action items:

- DS9 essential episodes list for [livejournal.com profile] corbae (post likely to follow)
- Riddick recs list for [livejournal.com profile] monkey_pie (ditto)
- Read [livejournal.com profile] bmouse's Garak/Bashir collection
- Check out stuff from Small Fandom Dating Game
- Figure out naming issue and start a new Twitter to keep in touch with fan friends?
- Grin and bear it open a Tumblr account???
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (RSL neil window)
Life Things are Happening that I will talk about soon, and that has made things busy. As usual. What is the pathology for inability to chill out?

.

Anyway, the second basement-cleaning trip went well enough aside from the grime. My dad handled everything well -- I underestimated his desire and ability to get rid of a lot of the stuff down there -- and the two of us made another big dent in the clutter. Let's see if I can remember some gems. On the Why? side: five or six boxes of hanging file folders, 19 rolls of packing tape, and several pounds of paper clips. On the sentimental side: early childhood Apple II floppy disks and keyboard covers for things like Stickybear, Facemaker, Iggy's Gnees, Grandma's House, Dinosaur Dig and Muppet Learning Keys. And of course EZ Logo and, later, Print Shop. Also some more adorable schoolwork. ♥ On the What the heck do we do with all this? side: a dozen boxes of computer software and piles and piles of computer hardware going back to at least 1980.

I didn't find the piece of kinky noncon "art" drawn on the back of some elementary school homework that got me into trouble with the school psychologist, but I did find a similar one from what must have been the same era:

cut for sensitivity )

Also, baby's first vampire creations:

 photo 20130804_183938_zps0a1bb1d8.jpg    photo 20130808_203046_zps9d32a18f.jpg

*shakes head fondly*

.

Vidding quandary. I want so badly to include scenes from The Green Table ballet in my next vid, but the quality of the YouTube file that I snagged a couple of years ago (before it disappeared, whew) sucks compared to the rest of the sources going into the project. Yet it is the only footage of these scenes from the ballet that I can find anywhere. (There are some decent clips available of the politicians arguing around the green table, but that's not what I need.) Scrunchy face.

Speaking of vidding, Vividcon is this weekend. I'm not able to go, but people's vids will happen! Including [livejournal.com profile] jetpack_monkey's Starships remix! Excited.

.

There was all this other stuff I wanted to tell you... Oh, good movies: Fish Tank, about a troubled teenage girl who seems to have an opportunity to turn her life around when she falls for her mother's new boyfriend (a young Michael Fassbender); Bliss (Mutluluk), about a young Turkish rape survivor who wins over her would-be executioner as well as everyone else she meets while on the run; and Daydream Nation, a weird/quirky heavily stylized Canadian indie film about some outcast teens and their parents and teachers during a pivotal few months of school, which I kept thinking about for days (and which contained a joke about Atom Egoyan, helping win my heart) even though it wasn't really about the student/teacher relationship that drew me to it in the first place. Saw The Queen of Versailles, too, and was interested in that dual fascination/repulsion way, but didn't think it was as spectacular or revealing as reviews suggested.

ETA: Oh, duh. [livejournal.com profile] cincodemaygirl, [livejournal.com profile] alpheratz and [livejournal.com profile] corbae threw a hipster-themed party (ironically, of course) the other weekend and it was much fun. In addition to the silly theme, the snacks and the opportunity to see some local fans who've been scarce of late, like [livejournal.com profile] v_greyson, [livejournal.com profile] roga was in town (well, in country) and managed to make it down for a few hours. That was great, though short.

.

*cough* So, you know, hi. Thinking of you and reading your posts even if I don't comment a lot.
bironic: Fred reading a book,looking adorable (fred reading)
First post about the book
Second post about the book

Through page 514/the "end"

I was wrong before about Ana making a choice. The tennis match—or, more appropriately, the ping pong match—continues for 200+ pages in which I still can't pin down Christian, figure out what Ana wants or guess how successful their attempt at a BDSM relationship will be. The second is more forgivable because Ana is also struggling to figure out what she wants, but seriously, waffle for a couple of chapters instead of more than half the book. Then we could have had an actual conclusion after 500 pages instead of cliffhanging things over to the sequel. Or we could even have closed with a triumphant/scary/exhilarating moment for Ana in which she decides to take the plunge, and then all the resultant BDSM festivities take place in book two, along with whatever fixing she thinks she needs to do to make Christian "normal" and un-manpainy.

Instead, we get spoiler for the end ). Sigh.

Right, so BTW Christian Grey has manpain. This is a man in need. His fear is naked and obvious, but he's lost . . . somewhere in his darkness. His eyes are wide and bleak and tortured. I can soothe him, join him briefly in the darkness and bring him into the light. It seems his predilections for sadism and control stem from an emotionally and physically abusive childhood. Fine, that's fine, of course abuse can lead to fucked-up-edness in adulthood, but for an erotica novel that's theoretically introducing a lot of people to BDSM arrangements it's unfortunate that the book seems to be arguing that liking kink is a cause-traceable pathology that needs to be cured.

It's also unfortunate that Ana doesn't understand the difference between hesitance, preference and having a trigger. )

Oh, and on page 413, Ana finally Googles Christian. Starting with Google Images.

Two LOLs )

All right, but criticism aside for a sec, sometimes Ana has a clear opinion and Christian says something smart about d/s dynamics. )

However, it's impossible to judge whether this is really how Christian will treat Ana when the book can't make up its mind about his stalker-controller tendencies or Ana's responses to same. )

As for the sex... )

Summary Thoughts

This book was not good in the following areas: prose; pacing; coherent characterization; relationship building; conflation of day-to-day controlling behavior with a penchant for sexual dominance; strong insinuation that liking kinky sex means you are abnormal and broken; inner goddess writing tic; overblown sex scenes; OH and ETA the random racism, like, "Oh, there is an African-American young woman over there at my potential internship reception desk and she seems like someone I could be friendly with" -- not "friends with" -- "let me describe her hair." To quote Bella and Ana, "ugh." /ETA I think that it did a fair job of depicting the nature of kink negotiation and some of the appeal of BDSM play. At least, it didn't do nearly as terrible a job as I was braced for. And while Ana and Christian were giving me whiplash as they tried to get something off the ground, the book succeeded in making me think hard about the nature of dom/sub lifestyle relationships (this reader is more familiar with dom/sub scenes), at what point enough trust has been established between partners to go further safely, and whether I personally would ever feel comfortable giving blanket consent. Even if those might not have been challenges issued by the author but rather consequences of the aforementioned inconsistency.


TBD whether the second book merits a complete read...

Thanks much to those of you who've been following along these last few days and who have not made fun of me for giving the book a shot. Now to respond to comments!

ETA: oh holy GOD I am not going to make it through the second book. Page 1 squicked me the hell out and by page 15 I've already snorted out loud, shut my eyes in pain, and boggled at the density of repeated phrases from the first book.

ETA 2: Notes on the sequel.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
Speaking of [livejournal.com profile] vividcon. Who among you is going? I know [livejournal.com profile] kassrachel is, and I'm assuming [livejournal.com profile] obsessive24 and [livejournal.com profile] anoel? [personal profile] xenakis?

Before I ask at the comm: Anyone looking for a non-bed-sharing roommate, by the by?

.

An angle that didn't come up in the anonymity discussion at con.txt and which occurred to me again yesterday is from the perspective of someone who's posted work anonymously before, as a temporary measure during a meme round or a fest (i.e. Festivids): It gives you the opportunity to receive feedback that is more likely to be honest, or perceived as honest, especially when it's from people who know you online. When I post a fic or a vid without my LJ name attached to it and someone I know and respect leaves a positive comment, I feel better about it than I do when I post it as myself. You can be sure they're not just being nice because they're your friend/acquaintance. Also, if you ask for concrit, they might be more likely to leave it if your name's not on it. (Maybe. You guys are good about that when I ask!)

I don't think I'd like leaving a creative work permanently anonymous, though. Too much ego, as a friend put it recently when talking about her own work. This way I get to eat my feedback and claim it, too.

(The other nice thing about the anonymity period at Festivids is the equalizing factor: People don't only watch vids by the big names, because there are no big names. Everyone gets a shot. Well, given other factors in play, like which fandoms are more popular and whatnot.)

.

More Kink Bingo ramp-up essays to recommend: [personal profile] toft's post on AUs and Kink. She describes it in her journal thusly: "It's about ways to use worldbuilding to kinky purpose, the history of sexuality, and some examples of fantasy/sci-fi AUs that alter the way kink is perceived within them." The essay covers a few reasons for creating AUs for Kink Bingo, such as '(1) The costumes!, 2) the different kinds of technology, and 3) the way the context changes the kink,' and includes a list of resources.

Also, [livejournal.com profile] deelaundry posted about that "peculiar bouquet," vanilla kink. Some interesting angles in there I hadn't thought about before. Full disclosure on the reccing front that she's my friend and I gave the post a quick beta. :)

In sum: IS IT TIME FOR KINK BINGO YET
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
Vividcon vid: Done and submitted! Only took about a day, in the end. A day and three years, OMG. I think that leaves just one more vid to clear out from the ancient WIP pile, post-computer meltdown & rebuilds etc.

Now to wait until August and hope that (a) the sequences all make sense and (b) it doesn't drag. At 4:02 it's only about 10 seconds longer than my Secret Garden vid, but that one seems to go so much faster. Eh, we'll see. This one isn't exactly supposed to be a joy to watch thematically, anyway.

Another Kink Bingo ramp-up essay rec for you: frostfire's "Making Fanworks For Kinks That Aren't Yours, or, 'Oh God, How Do I Do THAT Square?'"

Until there is something else of interest to say, I leave you with this, your moment of Yahoo News zen. From an article on a catch of unusual orange-red lobsters:
"We're going to keep them here in the tank and let people come and see them to enjoy the naturalness of them."
(The runner up was a headline proclaiming the shocking news that "Katy Perry's sister looks just like her.")
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
Part one
Part two

Okay, we are going chronologically-ish through the rest. This doc is up to page 11 in Word; I don't have the energy to organize it in any more nuanced way!

The Rule of Names )

Gender and Sexuality Across Cultures )

Size Doesn't Matter (except when it does) [reading and writing long fic] )

Writing Trans Characters )

Personality Typing and Character Analysis for Better Fanworks (Greg House is an INTP) )

Subtext Is Not the Only Text )

Femslash Fandom Faire )

My Kink's OK, Your Kink's OK Revisited )

Shifting Genre Lines in the Sand )

Fandom and the Law )

There were a few other panels I would have liked to have gone to, if they hadn't conflicted with something else—Hunger Games, Going Pro, On Beyond Pairings, and Doctor Who: Moff's Long Game. Looking forward to other write-ups on these. I see duskpeterson has already done one on the Pro panel.

What else haven't I mentioned. Well, I tried to say something in each session I went to, which was unusual. It helped to know a lot of the people. Starting to read other people's reports about skipping programming and hanging out with people makes me wonder once again if my con experience will ever evolve into attending fewer panels and engaging in less structured socializing/room parties, maybe as topics become less new and appealing. It's not like the panels have a monopoly on intellectual dialogue (I must remind myself). I dunno; I've always been more of a lecture person.

Whatever: That was my weekend at con.txt in a nutshell. A... really big nutshell. Whew! As Mark Twain might have said, I would have written you a shorter post, but I didn't have the time.

Ongoing list of links to other people's write-ups )
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (khan con)
(Part one is here)

Okay, apparently I'm not done talking about names, because I neglected to mention down-from-NY hannahrorlove yesterday as well as some other locals I don't usually get to see, like sharkie/wolfshark, plus new and/or vaguely recalled faces or usernames who have now solidified into full-fledged people in my brain—tell me I'm not the only one this happens to—like hurry_sundown, ciaan, lizweisharr, stultiloquentia, v_angelique and cesy.

The meeting of people began at check-in Thursday night with a button-making crafts table and the popular find-a-fan Bingo icebreaker game, where you look for attendees who match your squares. Examples included "not a slasher," "has contributed to Fanlore," "proudly wearing purple" and, awkwardly, "bottle blond(e)." I was able to help people out with their "has written tentacle porn" or "multifandom vidder" or "is a published writer" squares. There were more tentacle people at this con than you might expect! Sometimes someone had filled out the square before me! Throughout the weekend there were also sucker-studded tee shirts, stuffed cephalopods, and springy, tubular table decorations that were appropriated (not even by me) to hang Iron Man dolls etc. in compromising positions.

Thursday evening was also the point at which it became clear that [livejournal.com profile] con_txt would reflect the general sentiment in online fandom right now re: OMG AVENGERS YAY, when half the group split off to go see it again at the movie theater a few blocks from the con hotel. There were three or four other group outings to see it, along with some room parties. Clearly I should have put up an invitation to go see Prometheus—still haven't gone—but when you want to go to the con programming and don't like staying up late, it's hard to find the time!

Anyhow, let us talk about some meta panels. Wow, we are not going in chronological order at all.

Old Fandoms Never Die )

Bring Back that Loving Feeling )

Age Disparities in Slash Relationships )

The Phylogeny of Speculative Erotica )

More (and mostly shorter) meta panel recaps to come later. Now we will talk about the vid show!

Vid show! )

Break time. Last post forthcoming within the next couple of days.

ETA: Part three now posted.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
This month's mini-challenge at [community profile] kink_bingo is "all you can kink," a.k.a. How Many Kinks Can You Stuff Into One Fanwork? (Insert joke about kink fisting/stretching here.) Lacking the time and/or focus to create something new right now, I took a look at preexisting stories and learned that my personal record for number of distinct, [community profile] kink_wiki-recognized kinks contained in a single fanfic appears to be about 18.

(The mini-challenge may have inspired the creation of a spreadsheet to find out. There may have been illustrative bar graphs. Please don't judge me.)

The honor belongs to Upside Down and Inside Out (also on the AO3), an SGA Santa Madness story I wrote a few years ago for companion in kinkiness [livejournal.com profile] sabinelagrande and which was subsequently podficced—for Kink Bingo, even—by Sabine herself. As though anticipating this mini-challenge, one of the first comments on the fic was: "How did you get all of that into that space? Holy skamoly."*

It's odd; before Kink Bingo came along, I didn't really think in terms of individual kinks that could be strung together to make a story. I wrote what I thought was hot, or interesting, or to explore something I'd seen or heard about. The stories were all quite kinky—my early writing is filled with bondage and toys and pervertibles and breathplay and issues of consent, etc. etc.—but except for maybe bondage, the elements didn't always stand apart, like how I just categorized them, you know? Then Bingo happened, and the fic-writing process changed. Kinks got quantified. Kinks became a basis on which to build a plot. I haven't been able to shake that way of thinking ever since.

I'd like to think and write more about that one day, but the point here is that "Upside Down and Inside Out" fell somewhere in between the two story-building methods. Sabine's request included 11 kinks, and I wanted to include as many of them as possible. That meant thinking about which of them combined well and how they might lead to a scenario. The brainstorming went something like: "If John and Rodney [one of the requested pairings] are in a room because aliens demand they perform a ritual [check AMTDI off the list] that involves John tied up and hanging from the ceiling [ditto suspension + bondage], and if John's been switched into a woman's body through offscreen shenanigans and he wants Rodney to take him out for a spin anyway [gender play + bottom!John], then Rodney can do stuff like spank and finger him while he's hanging there [spanking], taking control and talking all the while [dom/sub + verbal humiliation/dirty talk]…"

The story took shape like puzzle pieces fitting together. I rounded it out with more stuff I thought was sexy, yet it wasn't until this week that I realized how many other kinks got folded in there. )

Comments? Thoughts? Questions?



*You will see the irony of this when [livejournal.com profile] deelaundry, who left that comment, posts her mini-challenge fill in the next few days.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
Title (sort of): Thoughts on the use of hands and bodies instead of restraints to hold victims down in my Mary Sue noncon fics
Word Count: 850
Warnings: Discussion of erotic nonconsensual fiction & enjoyment of same.

It's an invasion of personal space and a preview of the more intimate unwanted touching that follows. It's a way to establish or reinforce the physical superiority of the villain... )

Written for my Kink Bingo "held down" square.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
Where did my Monday go? Oh, right, it disappeared into 5,300 words of consent play essay. Whoops.

It went up on [community profile] kink_bingo this morning here as part of the ramp-up to the next round (which starts tomorrow, plug plug) and has already generated some wonderfully thought-provoking comments that I need to try to respond to intelligently.

For my own OCD archiving needs and for the sake of anyone who might not like reading or commenting on Dreamwidth, the essay is reposted in its entirety below. Hope you like it. *insert noncon joke here*


* * *


Force Me, Please: On Noncon and Noncon Play in Fanfic

This is an essay about nonconsensual sex (noncon) and noncon roleplay in fanfic, why I love them, why they may work for other people, and how approximately one zillion kinks complement them. With 45 recs sprinkled throughout.

A bit about where I'm coming from )

What this essay will not cover )

On the difference between fantasy and reality; ethical dilemmas; freedom of kink )

Making distinctions: noncon vs. play, and all the shades of gray )

Ruminations on why this kink is attractive )

Great tastes that taste great together )

And in conclusion… )


* * *



Thank you again to those of you who chimed in when I asked under f-lock for thoughts on why consent play works. If you'd like to be credited for anything, just let me know and I'll amend.

Questions, comments, recommendations, requests to go into more depth, all welcome as always. I'd love to keep the conversation all together at the original post, but feel free to comment wherever you're more comfortable.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (tmi)
If your tastes run to virginity/virgin-like/innocence/reluctance, major consent issues, and/or prostitution, all of the older-male-dominating-young-female variety, then may I heartily recommend Mes Chères Études (Student Services). Hooooo yes.

(It is a movie I wish more movies were like! Actors who can act, acting a lot of soft-core sex scenes amidst a plot. It could have been harder-core, actually, but I still give it an A. I swear, one scene was out of a Mary Sue fantasy in my head. Now where is the button for "If you liked this movie, you might like..."? ETA: Oh oh, it's at the bottom of the page. Sweet.)

(Actual review, what? It's a little like the one season of Secret Diary of a Call Girl I watched, the one where she tried to have a boyfriend on the side, and a little like... something with a moral like an anvil. I did not have my critic hat on. It was engaging enough all the way through. There was a lot of sexy nudity and emotional trauma, okay? *types and deletes TMI about the sort of depravity I enjoy* *leaves you to it if this is your thing*)
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
So, a former classmate and I watched a movie called Repo Men last night, wherein Jude Law, Forest Whitaker and Alice Braga plod their way through a dystopian wannabe-Blade Runner cyberpunk future in which Evol Corporations sell mechanical organs for exorbitant prices and then come to collect on debtors by ripping them out. See also: Repo! the Genetic Opera, but with fewer singers who look like Antonio Banderas in Interview with the Vampire.

However, THE POINT IS -- attention [info - dreamwidth.com]thingswithwings and other [info - dreamwidth.com]kink_bingo/[info - dreamwidth.com]kink_wiki fans especially -- this unfortunate, poorly written, poorly characterized, ultimately predictable two-hour waste of potential featured one of the kinkiest sex-ish scenes I've seen in a mainstream movie. Maybe I haven't been watching enough horror movies, but I was impressed when cut for spoilers ). Reminiscent of the molting-flaying in Drawing Restraint 9, but less fetishistic and more sensual. This was a Kink Bingo line in itself: cyborgs, body modification, mechanical/technological, blood play, pain play, knife play, drugs, maybe a little medical fetish...

I have no recording device hooked up to my TV, but I snagged low-res video of the two halves of the scene with my camera for posterity, because this needs to be seen.

WARNING for gore and movie spoilers.

hxxp://www.megaupload.com/?d=QN7D602Y (change the x's)

That gorgeous song in the second clip is Moloko's Sing It Back.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
5. I have been sleeping so well the last couple of days; I am suffused with peace and tranquility good will. Last night brought a handful of interesting dreams. One of them involved the SGA crew being made to drink draughts of something like vodka because they'd investigated a gold beacon in a city like Atlantis, and after, Sheppard was nauseous, living/reliving painful memories, while everyone else had come out fine because the drink's effects were supposed to be temporary.

4. Last month's news, but oh my God, what a train wreck. Hey, did you know that a population with 55% women is equivalent to "Girlington"? NY Times fails again. One sane response here.

4a. Have this pre-Oscars Meta Awards list and Existential Olympics report to recover. Titles are funnier than the descriptions in the latter.

3. Today in a meeting, one of my colleagues in introducing me to a group of contractors said that I went to MIT and was therefore the smartest person in the room. That sort of comment makes me really uncomfortable. Because part of me says, Yeah, I might be. (Ten years ago, I would have thought, Yeah, I am.) And another part says, The school doesn't make the person; and school-smart doesn't mean everything-smart. And another part quails because I'm not always confident in myself. Ugh. I remember once, in my first year at my old job, everyone comparing what their SAT scores had been in high school, and me dreading the inevitable. After the guy who'd started the conversation pushed me to say mine, they were all whistle-y and wondering what I was doing working there and saying I must spend all day thinking about how stupid their conversations were. And what are you supposed to say to that? That in your own group of friends, you're ordinary? That kind of teasing or big-deal-making makes intelligence something to be embarrassed about, and when you try to disclaim the magical brilliance they pin upon you, you risk being accused of excessive or false humility.

2. The Plagiarist's Dirty Dozen Excuses. This came up on Slate the other day and made me think of those semi-annual fannish plagiarism scandals. The article is about a reporter, so some of the details don't apply, but the themes of deflection, self-contradiction, and calls for pity certainly sound familiar. Fandom could add an item or ten to the list. Or Bingo card.

1. If you really love me, you'll post prompts for tentacle_fest. I just left ten over there and feel embarrassed for my enthusiasm. Or prompt me here. Whichever. (Have I mentioned lately that I'm absurdly glad for fandom, because it taught me that it's okay to like what I like? Even when things turn around so that it's many people in fandom who don't share this particular taste, I've got the confidence to own it.)

0. Congratulations to [livejournal.com profile] pynelyf on clearing a huge hurdle toward her doctorate! And all my love and best wishes to S. and L., who could use something nice right now.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (sheppard's hands in plastic cuffs)
[livejournal.com profile] son_of_darkness, who is a great go-to guy for things kinky & thinky, has an interesting topic up for discussion today. He writes:

Most of the geeky people I meet are kinky, but not a lot of the kinky people I meet are geeky. [...] I wanted to ask if any of you had noticed something similar, and if so, why do you think there seems to be such a correlation between being a geek and being kinky?

I replied: I know I found a lot of consolation in geeky settings because I didn't feel I fit in to mainstream culture -- which included, in large part, things that turned me on. There's a huge overlap for me between wanting to explore the subtext of movies/TV/books/etc. and wanting to explore the kink lurking in things like villains and vampires and intergalactic space exploration and what have you.

Fannishness and kinkiness have always been intertwined for me. I told [livejournal.com profile] cryptictac once that the most important, life-changing thing about fandom for me has been to meet people, from home and from the other side of the world, who share a fierce love of the same things I do, that I was told when I was younger -- by my parents, by my best friend, by teachers, by culture -- were strange, deviant, not okay. I never had confidence in myself like I've had since finding fandom. For one thing, I can read wonderful, amazing, hot, kinky fic whenever I want, and share my own when I want, and we have this community that celebrates it.

There is so much more to say, some day. But I thought some of you might want to share your thoughts and experiences, here or there. I know I want to hear them.

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