Sestina!fic #4, "The Truth in Dreams"

[bironic]

Others:
- Sestina #1: House post-infarction
- Sestina #2: "A Typical Day in Diagnostics"
- Sestina #3: "Breaking the Cycle"



Title: The Truth in Dreams
Character: Gregory House, with House/Wilson undertones
Rating: PG
Word Count: 362
Prompts: truth (from daasgrrl), Vicodin, Wilson, dreams, leg, puzzles
Spoilers: Vague for "Meaning" and "Cane and Able"
A/N: This ended up veering far away from what I intended. I'm a little sorry I substituted "dreams" for a previous prompt; it...cheapens the rest of the words. ETA: Have been overruled on that point. Thanks, guys. *love*


Insomniac, he'll stare at the ceiling pondering truth
Or watch TV or read or go for a ride or call Wilson.
Or he'll lie half-conscious after his bedtime Vicodin,
His mind working, working, solving intricate puzzles
He forgets by morning. Most nights, though, his leg
Allows him a few hours of solid sleep. And he dreams.

Some nights, of course, he dreams
That nothing happened to his leg
And he's running by the river with Wilson,
Who never had to write the scrips for Vicodin
Or convince Cuddy to hide the truth
To save House from his own puzzles.

Vibrant and whole, he doesn't need puzzles
Until he wakes and remembers the truth.
There are nightmares, too—terrifying dreams
Where he can't make sense of anything or his leg's
Gone or he's paralyzed and sometimes Wilson
Is there, laughing, refusing to give him Vicodin.

If he takes an extra Vicodin
Before going to sleep, his dreams
Warp and swirl like a face or a leg
In a fun-house mirror. Senses blend: He tastes truth,
Sees pain, smells music, hears love, feels puzzles.
No logic. No boundaries. He is Chase is Stacy is Wilson.

By day he doesn't talk about any of it, not even with Wilson,
Who'd rather lecture him on his obsession with puzzles,
His recent quest for meaning and his tireless hunt for truth.
Besides, Wilson would only play shrink and use his dreams
To tell him why he's miserable and alone and addicted to Vicodin
And suffering more pain than he can blame on his leg.

Tonight he wakes slowly to distant sirens, a tingling leg
And damp sheets. As he gropes in the dark for his Vicodin,
The visions slip away before the pieces of the puzzle
Fit together—something about heat, and need, and Wilson,
And a sense of pure contentment possible only in dreams.
He downs a pill, hoping to prolong that peace but knowing the truth.

Four a.m. Too late, too early. He rubs his leg and waits for the Vicodin
To kick in. Pushing aside the puzzle of his friendship with Wilson,
He tries not to admit that buried truths will surface in dreams.



* * *


x-posting to housefic and house_wilson.

Thoughts very welcome.

Comments

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Yes, when I swapped in "dreams" everything became much easier to write -- as in, I was actually able to write it. That sudden click into place seemed like cheating, somehow. But I think you're right that this is a case of the difference between the original vision for the poem and the final product. Probably I was being too ambitious and nonspecific at first by picking words for all the grand themes in House's life.

If I had guessed, I think I would have known you'd like the river and Wilson-dream bits. :) Oh, those two and their unresolved issues. Seriously, I'm glad that worked for you; I was afraid those couple of lines about the sex-y dream either wouldn't come across properly or were too banal with "heat" and "need." I'm also glad you liked the bit about the dreaming and waking nightmare of Wilson withholding his meds. I tried to work in a line or two afterwards about the fact that it happened in dreams and in reality, but it got too complicated.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback. So far nobody has pounced on what I thought were flaws and inconsistencies, so maybe it does work after all and I'll summon the courage to cross-post.

[daasgrrl.livejournal.com]

I tried to work in a line or two afterwards about the fact that it happened in dreams and in reality, but it got too complicated.

Hee - I actually think it's better this way even if you could have done it. I think if you know your canon (as House people do), that part is so obvious that it works better with just the implications.

Also to say I'm glad you 'fixed' the formatting. I read your reasoning, but I still found it terribly distracting, personally. I didn't mention it because topaz_eyes had already and I thought it was actually just an error. From you, I should have known better *g*.

And synesthesia, yes. *rueful smile* I tried to get the word into the poem

I was amused, just because I know how tempting it is to demonstrate one's vocabulary. I think you made the right decision :)

[bironic.livejournal.com]

So there were at least two of you put off by the uneven stanzas. Definitely glad I changed it then.

And yes, restraint is usually the best way to go. So no overexplaining or pointlessly impressive words.