Fannish productivity, or lack thereof.

[bironic]

1. I started a mini-kink_bingo thing last night, got maybe 250 words in and found that it read as rape recovery instead of shaking-with-need adrenaline-crash sex. Dead stop. I couldn't devalue what was there by turning it into a PWP, and I didn't feel I could do justice to the story it was becoming.

2. Not that I'm already neck deep in the other vid or anything, but I had this wonderfully awful idea for a Sheppard/Ronon or Sheppard/McKay video* and now I've been listening to this terrible dance song for a couple of days. Nothing snuffs my rare-enough creative energies more effectively than describing things before I do them, so I won't say more until I actually start on it, but it's very silly. Comedy seems to be my preferred vidding genre.

Though there's also this one-verse song by Nat King Cole, Nature Boy, which would make a marvelous mood/character piece on Sheppard finding his people in Pegasus. (Interesting note: dissonant remix by David Bowie and Massive Attack fanvidded as a tribute to Alain Delon. All I know about Alain Delon is that Anne Rice said he looked like Armand.)


* Lest it sound so, I have not thus far and do not plan to only make slash vids. Just to remind myself: There was House/Wilson left open to friendship or slash interpretation, SGA gen, Leon/Mathilda, and SGA cast/tentacles; and in the works are SGA team and SGA universe gen, plus the above**; and there is diversity on the little scribbly note of future possibilities, too. I really do not think of myself as a slasher, not when it's used to mean that a person slashes exclusively or with more emphasis than they enjoy or produce het or gen. One of these days I'll do a "ten things everyone here should know about me" post.

** Suspicions that I am reading, watching and writing SGA more than House, however, would be justified. House is just not giving me what I need right now. Dexter did, and so, Lord help me, does The Vampire Diaries in its own teen angst way. Though with House, again, I haven't quit the show yet, and there are WsIP that I intend to finish, including three stories and a vid.

Comments

[roga.livejournal.com]

GUESS WHOSE CARD I GOT IN THE MAIL TODAY. ♥♥♥♥♥

I am not being productive either. Will try writing now.

[synn.livejournal.com]

I couldn't devalue what was there by turning it into a PWP, and I didn't feel I could do justice to the story it was becoming.

And thus my problem with 99% of my planned fics.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

I wish I hadn't felt so afraid to push forward and just see what happened. I guess we could both use an infusion of writerly confidence.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Oh, lovely! Sorry it came so late.

[synn.livejournal.com]

It's hard, when what you want is so contrary to where the story is leading. I don't think that fear of ruining the story is easy to get over.

also - YAY YOU WILL BE HERE IN JUST OVER A WEEK!

[zulu.livejournal.com]

Hm, what is House not giving you? Heh, "medical plots that are engaging and make sense" might top my list.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Emotional satisfaction, foremost, and excellent quality, second. I've always lamented that characters on that show are always confronting and undermining one another, with comfort as an exception, in contrast to others of my favorite shows like BtVS or Star Trek, where characters become adopted family to one another and help each other through tough times, and it's really worn me down.

[roga.livejournal.com]

LOL, it came right in the middle of Hanukkah! The timing could not have been more perfect :-)

[zulu.livejournal.com]

*nods* I am pickin' up what you are slappin' down.

I guess I still find fanfic enough for that. Or perhaps, more likely, RPing--if we need some comfort, we just have the characters wallow in comforting each other for a while.

And quality certainly isn't why I've been monofannish about House for so long. In fact, I really don't know the reason for that! My longest fandom ever. I just know that I'm not ready to move on yet. The next fandom will come when it will come!

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Heh, well, in that case. I was aiming for the first night, but if you're happy, I'm happy!

Good luck with your writing tonight.

[roga.livejournal.com]

Look at my comment response rate, you can see how well that's going :-)

[bironic.livejournal.com]

YAY! Wow, you're right. Sooooon.

Re: the first part. This is where I think being a better editor would come in handy. I rely so much on instinct when I write, and -- as you know so well! -- try to get everything "right" the first time through, so I don't have to rework much in the second draft. That method has its benefits, but when it means I don't trust myself to try a story because I could always come back and try it a different way later, don't know how to say something a different way once I've said it, because the words have worn a groove in my brain, it becomes a problem.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Eh, ditto here.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I could see where RPing joins fic writing/reading to compensate. I guess I've passed the point somewhere where I even wanted to go search those stories out. (Probably around the time I unsubscribed from house_wilson because of all the trash there.)

Support/love/comfort and quality: One could make up for the other, I think, but when they're both down.... I don't have a replacement yet, either, but I'm not in a rush. Like you say, it will come when it comes.

[blackmare.livejournal.com]

Wilson gave me a giant support/love/comfort fix, fortunately.

I understand, but will miss you as you drift off.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

It's been going on since the start of season five, so I'm not sure how noticeable a change there'll be in my presence/absence right now. Still -- thanks. ♥

"Wilson" was indeed a huge boost. We'll see how things continue from there....

[ignazwisdom.livejournal.com]

I couldn't devalue what was there by turning it into a PWP, and I didn't feel I could do justice to the story it was becoming.

This basically describes most of the 30+ WIPs in my folder. D'oh!

[synn.livejournal.com]

I know exactly what you mean (that comes as a complete surprise, I'm sure). Usually, if I have the issue you're having, that's when I make timelines -- plotting it out in notes, helps to show where I might get stuck down the road, and determine which, if either, of the stories might really work best.

[blackmare.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm certainly encouraged by Doris Egan's twitter notes, which report that RSL is complaining and pouting because she's giving him too much screen time. *G*

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

Suspicions that I am reading, watching and writing SGA more than House, however, would be justified. House is just not giving me what I need right now.

Replace SGA with Lie to Me and that's me in a nutshell.* :-\ For the same reasons, too. For me it felt like House ended with "Both Sides Now." I just have not felt invested in the 6th season. OTOH, I am completely enthralled by Cal Lightman/Tim Roth, and the family/friend/respect dynamic that's going on in LtM.

*Except for the reading part, which saddens me. There are good LtM fics, but only a handful of truly outstanding fics in the fandom, and so much fic feels the same. I've been spoilt for fic reading the past few years.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Let us join hands and sing the sad song of languishing stories!

[bironic.livejournal.com]

It's inevitable, but fannish drift makes me sad - not just for missing something you once loved when it's right in front of you, but for the risk of drifting away from the friends you made when you shared that love. It's been a real relief that there hasn't been much of that second part so far, even if I haven't been dropping in to people's journals for beta as much as before. (Though that's for a few other reasons, so.)

I'm glad you have Lie to Me to enjoy, though! Maybe the fic will pick up as/if the show gets more popular.