I appreciate the vulnerability of this post very much. I struggle with these lines in my life, too -- will people think I'm performing? why did I share that? what should I do if I think I made a public choice that isn't in line with my values? -- as I suspect many of us do, actually.

I think we need space to try things and to get them wrong sometimes without coming in for condemnation. It sounds like you have a good community for that; I also think that making this post is itself a lovely encouragement to the rest of us to work harder to build that kind of community, too.