mid-February mood
Doing
Work has been… not good lately. My boss' boss killed a long-term project of mine at the 11th hour that I was really proud of and looking forward to sharing with people. The nix came out of nowhere and despite approvals by all the other necessary parties, proposed compromises from me and vocal support from the rest of our team. That has taken the wind out of my sails.
I also struggled in the last couple of weeks with a series of decisions that shouldn't have been that hard. Well, I've got issues, but I realized this go-round that it's not all me, it's also other people not accepting a first "no thanks." Plus I think I have to quit my therapist and find someone less frustrating. Or just stop. Perhaps not surprisingly, I've had a strange, pressure-type headache for a week and counting.
However! Summer travel provides something to look forward to. I was approved to attend a conference in Switzerland, whee, and later will be spending a low-key week with some friends on the Cape, where I have never gone despite having lived in Boston for more than 10 years when you add it all together. Grateful to have been invited.
Listening
Achieved my first fannish goal for the year by upgrading to a paid Spotify account. Being able to play music on the TV (via Roku) has made a huge difference in how often I listen, and already the influx of new artists and songs has lifted my spirits and begun to replenish my dwindling collection of viddable music. One song wants to be about The Good Place, even though I had no plans to vid that show.
Watching
Back to usual habits: 26 movies and 3 seasons of television so far this year. No oomph to write reviews, but I'm sure the time and inclination will return at some point.
Some of that TV is a new-to-me 1990s show in case it sparks an idea for![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
equinox_exchange, because our matched fandom isn't working out and I don't know how to do things in half measures. (I talked to my mom about defaulting or phoning something in, and she reminded me that I won't be happy making something I don't like.) There is a movie option, but the right song hasn't presented itself. TBD, I guess.
Funny story about that: One actor struck me as good-looking in atypical way, and when I looked him up I learned he's the son of another actor whose photos I've had on my computer for years because he is also good-looking in an atypical way. Consistent taste is consistent! Now I see the resemblance, although I don't think I would have figured it out on my own, especially since they have different last names. /cryptic
Vidding
1. For stress relief and a friend's birthday, I spent half a day making a vidlet of the best kind: simple, silly and short. Stay tuned.
2. Intermittently editing a Longmire vid that didn't work out for Festivids: Mathias+Walt (or Mathias/Walt), Mathias POV, hopefully funny. Somehow there are zero Mathias/Walt fanworks among the 289 Longmire entries on the AO3, despite the characters having similar jobs and the type of contentious relationship fandom usually loves.
3. Planning![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
deelaundry's auction vid.
Also,trelkez's Self-Curated Vid Show collection went live, in which 31 vidders submitted playlists they constructed from their own vid archives in whatever ways they desired. I've got two playlists in the mix. You can watch them here if you like. I'm looking forward to getting a better sense of people's bodies of work in the coming weeks.
Work has been… not good lately. My boss' boss killed a long-term project of mine at the 11th hour that I was really proud of and looking forward to sharing with people. The nix came out of nowhere and despite approvals by all the other necessary parties, proposed compromises from me and vocal support from the rest of our team. That has taken the wind out of my sails.
I also struggled in the last couple of weeks with a series of decisions that shouldn't have been that hard. Well, I've got issues, but I realized this go-round that it's not all me, it's also other people not accepting a first "no thanks." Plus I think I have to quit my therapist and find someone less frustrating. Or just stop. Perhaps not surprisingly, I've had a strange, pressure-type headache for a week and counting.
However! Summer travel provides something to look forward to. I was approved to attend a conference in Switzerland, whee, and later will be spending a low-key week with some friends on the Cape, where I have never gone despite having lived in Boston for more than 10 years when you add it all together. Grateful to have been invited.
Listening
Achieved my first fannish goal for the year by upgrading to a paid Spotify account. Being able to play music on the TV (via Roku) has made a huge difference in how often I listen, and already the influx of new artists and songs has lifted my spirits and begun to replenish my dwindling collection of viddable music. One song wants to be about The Good Place, even though I had no plans to vid that show.
Watching
Back to usual habits: 26 movies and 3 seasons of television so far this year. No oomph to write reviews, but I'm sure the time and inclination will return at some point.
Some of that TV is a new-to-me 1990s show in case it sparks an idea for
equinox_exchange, because our matched fandom isn't working out and I don't know how to do things in half measures. (I talked to my mom about defaulting or phoning something in, and she reminded me that I won't be happy making something I don't like.) There is a movie option, but the right song hasn't presented itself. TBD, I guess.Funny story about that: One actor struck me as good-looking in atypical way, and when I looked him up I learned he's the son of another actor whose photos I've had on my computer for years because he is also good-looking in an atypical way. Consistent taste is consistent! Now I see the resemblance, although I don't think I would have figured it out on my own, especially since they have different last names. /cryptic
Vidding
1. For stress relief and a friend's birthday, I spent half a day making a vidlet of the best kind: simple, silly and short. Stay tuned.
2. Intermittently editing a Longmire vid that didn't work out for Festivids: Mathias+Walt (or Mathias/Walt), Mathias POV, hopefully funny. Somehow there are zero Mathias/Walt fanworks among the 289 Longmire entries on the AO3, despite the characters having similar jobs and the type of contentious relationship fandom usually loves.
3. Planning
deelaundry's auction vid.Also,
trelkez's Self-Curated Vid Show collection went live, in which 31 vidders submitted playlists they constructed from their own vid archives in whatever ways they desired. I've got two playlists in the mix. You can watch them here if you like. I'm looking forward to getting a better sense of people's bodies of work in the coming weeks.
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Despite my resolution not to ill-wish others, a spot of schadenfreude when *deserving* folks get their comeuppance does sometimes warm the cockles of my heart.
A friend of mine was in IT but her projects getting cancelled over and over until she threw in the towel and went into medicine (now a family physician). I've nearly quit my jobs in the past a couple of times, but just knowing that I *could* helped me not feel trapped, at least. I hope you have options or at least can enjoy your other things to focus on.
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Yeah. In this case it's good perspective. I don't want colleagues to be having a hard time, like you say, but seeing some of them go through stuff like having the majority of their job description suddenly change makes this project cancellation seem less awful.
>>A friend of mine was in IT but her projects getting cancelled over and over until she threw in the towel and went into medicine (now a family physician).
Eugh.
People who pursue medicine as a second career are fascinating, IMO. Among other things, she must have rolled her eyes a lot at the mostly naive youngsters going through med school.
>>I've nearly quit my jobs in the past a couple of times, but just knowing that I *could* helped me not feel trapped, at least.
Yeah, absolutely. Glad that perspective has helped you as well. In fact, the hardest decision I had to make last week was whether to submit an application for a job two people were encouraging me to pursue, including the hiring manager. I came down on the side of it wouldn't be a good fit, but as you say, knowing there are other options like that and choosing to stay helps alleviate the negative feelings.