bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
U.S. politics has (have?) washed over my head again, as it does periodically, rising from the baseline fear and disappointment that mounted during election season and spiked in November.

I don't talk about it much here. This blog, and [ profile] bironicwastaken, are my dedicated fannish spaces online. It looks like we all understand that media consumption, fannishness and other creative pursuits are permissible hobbies, community building in an environment of divisiveness, necessary breaks and even artistic acts of resistance as we struggle with current events. Still, I sometimes (1) worry that fannish-oriented posts strike the wrong tone in wider context, such as yesterday's, and (2) feel a defensive urge to point out that I'm doing things "in real life" to fight what's happening, even if they may not be enough and even though no one has said anything.

When I get down on myself about not doing enough, I focus on things like these, in addition to thinking through how I can have a greater impact:
- Since November, every feature article I’ve written at work has made an explicit or strong implicit political statement
- This auction vid not only raised money for a good cause but is also about celebrating many characters of color in current genre sources, and that's not for nothing these days
- Every month, I donate to activist, investigative journalism and/or minority-support organizations
- I talk to people, including family and friends who voted in ways I am trying to understand
- etc.

That is all. It's a[nother] tough day. ETA: Not least: Event & dream involving anti-semitism )
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
[warning: stress dreams involving violence]

Awake brain: I know I have work and vidding deadlines, but I feel pretty good.

Unconscious brain: Ha ha ha! Have some dreams about bears, and a horse peeing on you, and performing as Captain Kirk in a Star Trek play but you forget all your lines and musical cues so everyone has to cover for you, and experiencing people's startled reactions to your face after you lose most of it in an accident, and forgetting to buy a dress and write a speech for your sister's (nonexistent) wedding, and missing your trains to get downtown!

...Yet I still feel pretty good? Well, less good now that the work deadline looms and the time I set aside to vid keeps getting diverted to procrastination activities ranging from cooking to watching long-ago completed vids. :/ I did finish the Elf one, as you may have seen, but that still leaves the four [community profile] festivids-in-progress.

Of the good: Made it unexpectedly to most of Boston Fannish Brunch today; there will be a [personal profile] roga in town for the beginning of Hanukkah; going to visit [personal profile] deelaundry and family for Xmas; going with [ profile] disgruntledowl the next day to a National Theatre Live screening of Patrick Stewart & Ian McKellen's latest play, followed probably by New Year's Eve hangouts with old movies.

Ah, that's the oven timer. Round one was meat for the week, round two is veg, round three will be baked apples (with much less sugar). I've been peeling, coring, slicing and baking apples with a simple dusting of cinnamon afterwards, so am attracted to this recipe that involves only coring, even though baked apple skin looks to me like death.

(Dear brain: That is not an invitation for another stress dream.)

ETA: The apples are delicious, like an inside-out crumble, although I wouldn't say they're less work than what I was doing before; maybe because I don't have a melon baller or apple corer. I used about 1 tsp brown sugar and a generous shake of cinnamon along with the oats.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
I don't even know what to say. You all see what's happening too.

How I've coped this week:

Reading, Watching, Sharing, Doing
I've been taking in as much news as I can handle, which varies by the evening. Since it's all too easy for me to think about things and stop there, I've also made efforts to transform that intake and mental processing into actions. Things like setting up monthly rather than annual charity donations, signing the subset of petitions that have a shot at going anywhere, and building a spreadsheet of local, state and federal representative contact information plus specific issues to thank them for supporting or urge them to oppose. I haven't psyched myself up yet to, uh, actually make the phone calls, but I'm working on it. Still unsure which outreach efforts are most effective when I live in a Democratic state with kickass reps who are already writing joint statements and introducing bills to prevent or reverse the most atrocious developments.

Nobody at our office got anything done the day after the election, but by the next day I was ready to bury myself in work. My monthly productivity is now on track to be one and a half to two times normal.

[personal profile] thedeadparrot, [personal profile] stultiloquentia and [ profile] disgruntledowl came over at various times last weekend for communal laptopping and to talk or not-talk about our government-to-be. I made a [community profile] festivids treat draft in 24 hours and picked at a few others. Current plan: four Festivids and one Christmas vid. Ha. Ha ha ha.

Vidding only worked as a distraction through Saturday. Sunday I tried to sit in the computer desk chair but kept drifting into the kitchen to start some other cooking or baking project. By the end of the day, there was curried pumpkin-apple soup, pumpkin bread, an onion and feta frittata, baked sweet potatoes, roasted vegetable lasagna and lemon-basil haddock with spaghetti squash. It's kept me in leftovers for the entire week, plus extras in the freezer, and one loaf of the pumpkin bread fed my coworkers.

Not much fiction. Finished the Young Miles compendium -- enjoyed the Dendarii parts, gradually lost patience with the rest -- and am wrapping up Vampire Romance 2. Starting to do proper research into the paranormal erotica short story market. I did go to book club last Thursday despite only having read a few chapters of the book months ago (The Goblin Emperor), and was glad to have done so, for the company.

Picked up a high school- into college-era (!) orig fic last night and added 1,200 words in 60 or 90 minutes, which, if you've been keeping track, is a lot for me these last few years. Want to try some more tonight and over the weekend. There is a sequence of scenes I daydreamed about back in the day that for some reason resurfaced, matured with time, a couple of nights ago, and I'm trying to get them down on the page. A sort of recovery story, years after the hurt I put the hero and heroine through: probably another form of self-comfort this month to go with the blankets and hoodies and warm drinks and toast.

Not much besides current events. [personal profile] thedeadparrot and I did go to see Arrival last Friday and it was great; haven't enjoyed a new SF movie that much since Interstellar. Oh, and Westworld. I'm still ambivalent about it but there's more to enjoy than it seemed at the beginning. This week's episode had one particularly delightful scenario and one great twist. Still, laughably Dark and frustratingly male-POV even when it's focusing on Strong Female Characters.

Starting last Tuesday, I went from having never dreamt about politics or politicians in my life to dreaming about them almost every night. Am ready for this phase to pass.

And so another week comes to a close. How are you all holding up?
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
"Oh. Maybe I'm more depressed than I thought": A periodic discovery by bironic.

Brief details. )

I'm taking two days off later this week. Going to see my 95ish-year-old grandparents. My dad relocated them last month from FL to NY for care management purposes and there hasn't been a chance to visit until now, with everything that needed to get done at the office. I am told there is a Family Night happening at their new nursing home; will probably be cute.

Planning on taking more days off here and there, not for travel but for relaxing and working on artistic projects. Want to finish Jinni/Dustfinger story instead of staring at it and adding three sentences per day. Want to work on book trailer. And want to make a good to-be-determined vid for [personal profile] jetpack_monkey, who won me in the Vividcon Auction. \o/

Finding out I will be vidding for Nate was a bright spot this weekend. As was, in a more fleeting way, a random dream about Garak/O'Brien (??). TV-wise, the two episodes of S2 of Grantchester that've aired so far on PBS have been so, so lovely. Difficult subject matter and characters who are struggling, but the show is made with such compassion and high quality that I find it relaxing to sink into. The Sidney/Geordie subtext doesn't hurt, either.

After not having read a proper book in a while, started rereading The Dispossessed today, since we'll be discussing it at the next book club. The last time I tried, years ago, I trailed off ~20 pages short of the end and had lost interest much sooner. Have higher hopes for this attempt.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
(It is raining.)

Doing: Just returned from a five-day trip to my grandparents' in Florida, with my dad. Some ups, some downs, as happens when one's family is dealing with age-related health issues and dwindling ability to remain independent. Or codependent, as the case may be. In any event, it was good to see them, they appreciated the visit, and my dad and I did make it to the beach one beautiful morning. Two hours of swimming and of resting in the shade of an umbrella: divine.

Watching: A collection of Turner Classic Movies with the grandparents: Bringing Up Baby, With Six You Get Eggroll, Anna and the King of Siam (with Rex Harrison, not Yul Brynner), and 15 minutes of The Man Who Would Be King before I quit in distaste. Oh, and we caught the last 20 minutes or so of Transcendence, because apparently Paul Bettany movies now follow me wherever I go.

On my own, beginning of season three of Gilmore Girls, with the occasional ep thrown in of season three of Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries. Haven't yet started the new series of Doctor Who.

Have also been getting together once every couple of weeks with [personal profile] thedeadparrot to alternately heckle and admire Project Runway, which is great fun.

Reading: Re-read of Ancillary Justice complete; Ancillary Sword half complete. Still wonderful. The series works for me on every level: concept behind the main character, basic plot, worldbuilding, personally and societally relevant themes (schisms in identity, class conflict, racism, suppression/absorption of minorities, social justice, police brutality, white male privilege, love and grief and revenge), favorite sci fi tropes (artificial intelligences, alien contact, awakening after centuries in cryo freeze), subtle and indirect emotions that sneak up on you, use of "she" as gender-neutral pronoun so that the universe feels filled with women. Not least, I relate to and envy the main character in numerous ways. Today's delight: remembering how Translator Dlique sounded a touch like Luna Lovegood as well as Delirium of the Endless. Can't wait for Ancillary Mercy next week.

Ummmm also I mentioned this on Twitter but I discovered last week that Ann Leckie recced Starships! in August and I retweeted her and then she replied to me and I may have died a little.

Before that, read Saga vol 5--excellent--then finished The Book of Three and barely started The Black Cauldron by Lloyd Alexander, in the Chronicles of Prydain series, for book club. Eh. So far it is template fantasy; I found myself playing Spot the Comparison to things like Lord of the Rings, The Once & Future King, Earthsea and the Fionavar Tapestry. Young Eilonwy is a hoot and the prince whose name I've forgotten is written to be nice and sexy in a kids' book sort of way--in fact, young male protagonist Taran reads as though he's in love with him without really realizing it--but the books have not grabbed me so far. Gwydion. Will try a little more and see how it goes. Favorite line so far: "She is the only oracular pig in Prydain."

Vidding: Submitted my most favorite source ideas to [community profile] festivids (who will make me a book trailer for Ancillary Justice???) and am trying to think of whether there are any more. Glanced really quickly through the list of nominations and spotted something that soon after generated an idea, woo.

Also we will see if a vid gets generated for Halloween, my most successful vidding holiday to date. Have a bunch of source already ripped for one potential project. Unfortunately, have a bunch of RL stuff in October, too.

Writing: Not a lot outside of work. Adding some words here and there to that Marius/Mary Sue story. Speaking of posts that met with crickets.

Meeting: Got to hang for a couple of hours with [personal profile] such_heights and [personal profile] happydork last weekend when they stopped by Boston Fannish Brunch on their way across the country for their honeymoon; that was a treat.

Eating: Culinary highlights of September included a lobster roll from James Hook & Co., which lived up to its reputation of understanding that mayo and bun should take a backseat to the lobster meat, and a scoop of Noodle Kugel ice cream from JP Licks, which was cinnamon-spiked vanilla ice cream studded with cooked-then-frozen egg noodles. Because how can you pass up a specialty Rosh Hashanah ice cream flavor?

ETA: Wait, I forgot the other two excellent foods. First, following some nutrition advice, I tried broiled mackerel from the local Japanese restaurant and it was fantastic. Savory and salty and firm with a crisp skin. Will attempt to make something like it at home one of these days and see if the resulting oily-fish smell is worth the meals it produces. Second, I discovered the cayenne-mango flavored almonds from Q's Nuts in Somerville and cannot get over the perfect blend of spicy and sweet. Nom nom afternoon snacks.

Dreaming: of autumn. It's still 80+ degrees out, and nearly October. Come on.

Also I had a dream the first night in Florida that Chief O'Brien showed up to try to save me at the end of a godawful tennis match and I was disappointed (but also relieved) that Bashir wasn't there. And then that I had to explain to Tony Stark how I was feeling after a traumatic event, so I phrased it in relation to his life: "imagine if the Iron Man suits were all destroyed, and Pepper was hurt, and Rhodey'd been killed..."

Whew. Okay, let's return after this to normal-sized, focused posts.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (RSL neil window)
Dream one: Being hunted by a T-rex

Dream two: Entering the most treacherous part of our boat journey, a tunnel chalk-gray with dust and howling winds, gripping the front rail to try to anchor us against the waves

Dream three: Taking a shower with Vin Diesel

bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (RSL neil window)
I dreamt a terrible dream about Voldemort ripping the side off a trailer where Harry, Hermione and Ron were hiding in a storm, and taunting Harry to come out into the driving rain and face him.

Then I fell back asleep and dreamt about sitting in John Hannah's lap while he kissed my neck.

And talking to Michael Dorn about the shows we'd acted in together, while Avery Brooks and the rest of the DS9 cast played Frisbee in a carnival field.


Last night at the Coolidge Corner Theater I got to see the filmed version of the play Skylight, written by David Hare and starring Carey Mulligan and Bill Nighy. I'd tried to get a last-minute ticket while we were in London this summer, but no dice. They filmed it a few nights later.

It was just as fabulous as anticipated. Stellar writing and acting. Compelling characters whose backgrounds and motivations and flaws and strengths complicate with each turn of the conversation. Who also symbolize without being reduced to symbols. Good quality recording, other than a few microphone blips like when Mulligan would tuck her hair behind her ear or how loud a pot of sautéing vegetables sounded depending on her angle to the stove.

I'd known it was about a young woman re-encountering an older man she'd had an affair with years earlier. I hadn't known it was more broadly about classism and sexism and terminal illness and cultural tensions between people who pursue business (Nighy's character) and people who pursue careers like teaching and social work (Mulligan's), and whether there can be reconciliation between them (embodied by Nighy's character's son, Edward, played by Matthew Beard). As Hare said in an interview onscreen during the intermission, it was relevant in the 90s when he wrote it on the heels of the Thatcher era, and it's relevant now after (or during?) a similar governmental attitude, there and here.

Turns out the play is coming to NYC in the spring with the same cast. Very much recommended if you're local. If I hadn't seen it last night, I'd go. While the film version of course lacked the vibrancy of attending a live performance, the irony was I was able to see the actors' faces and the details of the set more clearly than would be possible in an affordable theater seat.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (RSL neil window)
I wasn't sure how a Saturday could start better than a good night's sleep topped off with a dream about having dubcon sex with vampire David Bowie.

Turns out the answer is by following up with a walk to check out the winter farmers market (it was okay; I bought a radish and some garlic-roasted nuts), taking advantage of the one-day 50-degree break in the weather to go on a long-for-me bike ride, and stopping on the way back at Trader Joe's to pick up a few treats like pea shoots and dried apricots.

Later, when my quads work again, there will be cooking. Am going to try these steamed gyoza and either spinach or pistachio muffins (maybe these or these) for St. Patrick's day/six-month anniversary at work on Monday. Trader Joe's had shelled pistachios, which would make the latter easier. Maybe this time I will not overmix the batter and actually achieve non-dense muffins.

...Hi, this is me trying to post more. Should talk about how fabulous Top of the Lake was.


Feb. 19th, 2014 07:22 pm
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (RSL neil window)
Dreamed last night that ZacharyQuinto!Spock and KarlUrban!McCoy started kissing after a surge of sexual tension. I think I was the latter for some of it; I remember what Quinto's mouth felt like.

I don't even know. I blame [ profile] rubynye for linking last night to the Porn Battle XV index, which listed many Reboot fills.

If we are on the topic of Trek + sexy, this shot of Spock in a gray t-shirt from "Bread and Circuses" (the latest episode [ profile] ignazwisdom has recapped on her still-NSFW Tumblr) just about defines the level of handsomeness and borderline innocent skin-baring that I enjoy in TOS.

Also Spock and McCoy.


[ profile] elipie's Festivid, Applause, inspired me to try the show Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 last week. With only 25 or 30 episodes of 20 minutes each, and, of critical importance, no laugh track, it went quickly and enjoyably. Krysten Ritter is freaking gorgeous, and her character was entertaining, in a Chaotic Evil shading toward Chaotic Neutral sort of way. Despite never having watched Dawson's Creek, James van der Beek's self-parody amused as well. I guess he's following in the footsteps of people like Wil Wheaton, William Shatner and Neil Patrick Harris to acknowledge and take ownership of his image.


Lately I've felt like writing some fic, but am at a loss for what. I don't know what sort of stories I want to hear or tell anymore, and today's popular fandoms leave me cold. (Relatedly: I look forward to the day when the AO3 has a more robust search capability.) Too bad Remix isn't for another month or two; this would be a perfect time.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (RSL neil window)
Odd day.

Dozed after waking to footsteps upstairs, and had a dream about cut for Holocaust-like imagery. ) Jeez, it sounds horrific to write it up like that. At the time, it was just a thing that was happening. One girl hid in a room that was my childhood bedroom by lifting herself onto the top shelf of the closet by the lintel like a pull-up, realized that she could be easily seen, and hastily shoved a folded blanket between her body and the top of the door. I was the girl. Vin Diesel found her/me and said, reasonably enough for a prison guard, something about how the punishment would be eight somethings but he'd go halvsies with her and only do four if she'd just give in. She/I said, calmly, Okay. He seemed taken aback. That was that.


Today marked the end of my three-month probation period at work. I had a good review and was not fired. (I was not worried since my performance has been fine and people like me, but still. Not being on probation is a relief in the current financial climate. If anyone in the office had had to be cut to save money, it would have been me.) (Not to say that fear isn't still there; it's just harder to let someone go after they're off probation.)


Good, easy soup recipe, adapted from my new everything-chicken cookbook: Dice and sauté two small onions. When soft and beginning to brown, add a quart of chicken or vegetable broth. Grate a couple of zucchini or summer squash; add to the pot and boil for ~15 minutes. You can also add small pasta at the time you add the vegetables. At the end, drizzle in two eggs or egg whites and lemon juice to taste. Mm. Looks like it makes three bowls' worth.


Let's answer some vidding questions from [ profile] alizarin_nyc: "What do you use for media when starting a vid? Do you rip DVDs, convert .avi files or what? What editing software do you use and why? What is the next thing you want to learn/try in writing or vidding?"

I tend to rip DVDs )

I use Adobe Premiere )

I want to learn to do a thing with John Sheppard's face )

But also how to better create clip pacing that is less a slave to the music )

...I don't know if I articulated that well at all.

4) That's a good question about what I might want to learn next in writing. Will have to get back to you on that. As compared to video editing, fiction writing is a thing that comes so unconsciously to me -- not always easily, just instinctively rather than as a series of technical steps -- that it's hard for me to approach and understand it as a craft. (I used to think that was something to brag about, but the more I press up against the boundaries of what doesn't come naturally to me and what I haven't been educated about, and the more I look back on many of the fics I've written and listen to others who do understand the technical elements of putting together effective stories and characters, like the more I appreciate that relying on instinct alone can also be a limitation.)
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (RSL neil window)
I read a 100K Inception fic on Friday. It'd been months since I'd read any fic other than sporadic updates of snookiescookies' Pretty Woman AU Paper Things and toomuchplor's Steinway!verse, both also Inception, but for whatever reason, the desire struck me and there was this student/teacher high school AU I hadn't read among the fics ranked by most kudos on the AO3.

It was - well, on a sentence level it needed work (to paraphrase the opening of one section: 'He groaned, jaw dropping, the blood rushing both from and into his face as his brain tried to decide whether to blush or go pale in mortification'), all adverbs and redundant descriptions and a weird mix of italics and all-caps for emphasis, and there were some "that would never happen" moments as well as idiosyncrasies born of a British author depicting an American school year, etc., but it was paced well and the cresting and ebbing emotions resonated, and I was glad to have read it by the time I went to bed.

All that by way of mentioning two things:


I know fandom loves its tropes, but I'm tired of the conceit where the [ETA: neurotypical] character with the desperate crush refuses to see the signs that the object of said crush returns the attraction. I like the tension when it's uncertain whether the feelings are reciprocated, and the pining when it seems there aren't and won't be any indications of same (even if there ends up being a happy ending), and the shift from pining to joy when the one with the crush begins to hope or to understand that it might be mutual. But this thing where character A likes character B, and character B indicates in numerous ways that they like A as well, but A explains it all away, and then characters C and D tell A that A is being ridiculous and obtuse, but A also rationalizes their comments away, followed by a string of deliberate misunderstandings and a near blowup before the climactic epiphany and celebratory sex... not a favorite.

I mean, I get that someone liking a person can be more obvious to outsiders than to the person themselves, but so many stories take it too far (for me) and I wish writers would respect their characters and their readers enough to spend less time on the misunderstandings phase and more on the "can this really be true," "how do we make this work" parts OR drop fewer obvious hints and let the pining feel as acute to the reader as it does to the character instead of leaving us to facepalm because we see the signs of affection as clearly as their frustrated friends do. Well, no, it's maybe not a lack of respect so much as a love for the structure that you see so often in romantic comedies. A love that I share less with each passing year.

Maybe I'm just reading the wrong stories.


Must have been the influx of ficciness after a drought, but I had this dream Friday night involving three men with (on reflection) Eames' body type as described in the story, hard bodies, heavily muscled, tattooed, naked, exuding sex and power in a way that defied what I'm usually attracted to. Have been trying to pin down what the main one looked like, slick black hair and olive skin; can only come up with something like Sukar from the TV show Defiance, except that's not quite it.

In the dream the three of them were recovering from some kind of energy blast like being hit with a phaser and one had taken it really hard, was groaning and shaking as though he were having a seizure, wrapped around a radiator to try to ease the aftershocks, only when the other two pried him away from it he had these huge gouges in his flesh that had been burned away from the heat, down to muscle and bone.


Domestic day today, methinks, after a busy one yesterday at the Head of the Charles and out on a bike ride. There's a vid to poke at and pumpkin bread to be made.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (RSL neil window)
Back from a nice weekend visiting my friend and this little guy:

baby with mobile

1. If you didn't see on account of the holiday or whatnot, I posted my WisCon vid, Boy with the Bubblegun, about Katniss in The Hunger Games. It ended up being one of the vids covered during the discussion panel afterwards! Along with a fascinating Twilight vid by chaila that focuses on and strengthens Bella's (and the other female vampires') agency. I know this because futuransky/heyiya posted excellent panel notes.

2. Read the last Fifty Shades book on the plane. Need to do a recap after replying to vid comments.

3. Dreamt last night that I explained fanfiction and the nature of the OT3 to Elizabeth Burke from White Collar. *shrug*

It's raining the rain of a humid summer evening. There's a salad on the table and yellow tulips in a glass of water. Life is good.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
Ugh, today. My building's fire alarm went off at 2:15 a.m.—the universe has been against me getting a good night's sleep since last Wednesday—and then my pants button randomly popped off a few minutes after I staggered into the office, ha. This after dreaming that deelaundry got upset about something some other fans said in person.

Hasn't been a total wash, though; I also had a dream where you could go to this aquatic arena, get fitted with SCUBA gear, and get sucked up into and shot out of a giant artificial tentacle that felt like a life-size version of those squishy plastic and gel tubes you find at some gift shops (or, er, probably also like male sex aid sleeves). It was long and detailed—the woman in charge gave me a nose clip on request, and I remember easing into breathing underwater—and, I must say, a lot of fun.

Kink Bingo

Speaking of tentacles and things to look forward to: Kink Bingo'll be starting up again in a couple of weeks, hurrah. There are some exciting new categories/squares. Last year I had fun knocking out a bingo that was all Inception recs; this year I bet I could do one that's all Karin (Mary Sue) stories. Not that a lot of people would want to read them, but whatever, I have a bunch of personally satisfying WsIP in that arena. Plus there are leftover non-Mary Sue ideas from previous rounds—still want to do the Brimstone AU with Ronon Dex for "tattoos," for example, and a Vampire Diaries breathplay picspam, and a Kill Your Darlings multi-kink vid—oh, there's a movie to pimp at the next [ profile] con_txt Small Fandom Dating Game!—and who knows what new ideas will be inspired by the 2012 card.

Relatedly, have you seen this amazing kink quilt that [personal profile] flyingthesky designed and made?? Their write-up is as funny as the quilt is impressive.

Ramp-up to the next round is going on right now. This watersports essay looks interesting.

...God, I really need to answer the rest of the comments to my noncon essay from last ramp-up.


Submissions for Vividcon's premieres show are due a week from Friday. At this point, my only shot is to finish that People of Pegasus Are Really Pissed Off vid from two years ago. It's like 90% filled in, but a) I'm not sure it's Premieres material and b) that completion percentage will drop quite a bit if I start knocking the clips out of their cut-to-the-beat pattern like I want to. I don't suppose any of you with expertise in SGA and/or Vividcon would want to offer advice on a complete draft?

The joy and confidence boost of con.txt this weekend convinced me that I do want to go to Vividcon this summer. I'd registered, but I was hesitant about following through, in part because I know the experience won't be like the last/first time I went, in 2010 (and because I wasn't sure about other summer travel). There were a dozen people I was thrilled beyond words to meet and/or hang out with who won't be going this year—thingswithwings, eruthros, anatsuno, isagel, roga, chagrined...—and it's harder when you don't have a con buddy. But. One, the schedule looks fantastic. Two, I'll have at least two vids showing, and it would be great to be there to see how they're received.

To bolster enthusiasm between cons, hopefully without burning ourselves out, chatting with cinco led to the idea of maybe organizing a vid-watching party for my birthday next month. If so, I'll be asking you for your recommendations!


Riverdance was a treat on Sunday. Beautiful weather out on the lawn at Wolf Trap at twilight, and after inhaling a sandwich—amazing how three days at a con will mess with your eating patterns and body awareness—I even managed to watch the whole thing without having to lie down. The step-versus-tap number was stunning, and the falling darkness added an extra sense of eeriness to the starscape photo behind one of the instrumental pieces. I did miss the Russian dervish, though. Overall the show lacked some power by virtue of it being my second time seeing it and at a distance as well, plus perhaps the small stage, but we'd inadvertently caught the last performance in North America after a 16-year run, so there was palpable emotion during the producer's introduction and the company's final curtain calls.

Happy summer, Northern Hemisphereans. We're hitting 100 degrees here today and tomorrow.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
I was tag-surfing on the AO3 last night, like you do, and with no great expectations gave an SGA story called Harem Girl a try, because it promised noncon of the Sheppard/OFC and Sheppard/OMC variety. I confess I skimmed some parts—huh, apparently the story was 43,000 words, which would explain it—but I finished it today and overall it was quite an enjoyable fic! Lots of kinks (shaving, chastity device, corsets and cross-dressing, group fellation practice, chains, harems, sex slavery…) that eventually combined to suit my tastes quite well, distinctive OCs, hot descriptions of building sexual tension and pleasure even when Sheppard's mind is scattered from gender-bending captivity, and the ending didn't take any easy ways out. Specific recs: [ profile] deelaundry—it's full of forced feminization! [ profile] synn—it's got some Sheppard/Ronon, not Sheppard/McKay! [ profile] rubynye—sex slavery consent issues!

So that was nice. Also, out of nowhere that I can discern, last night I had an AU sort of dream in which the Inception team had gone corporate and I was Ariadne. We were gathering around a brainstorming sort of conference table in a warehouse to hash out the plans for our next job. No one looked like they did in the movie. Arthur was drunk and kept repeating some sing-song phrase. The mark's partner/boyfriend looked like Shepherd Book from Firefly; this was remarked on. Cobb was there. Eames was being flirtatious, which I/Ariadne loved, only he was also being a self-serving jerk, which I/she discovered when we were walking and he pressed a set of keys into my/her hand just before a police officer stopped us, which meant that if he'd noticed that something was wrong with the keys (they were stolen? it was something bad), I/she would have taken the heat and not Eames.

Oh—maybe because [ profile] nightdog_barks posted that pic of Joseph Gordon-Levitt? Eh, I won't look a gift sexual-tension dream in the mouth.

…That sounded better in my head.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
Forgive the jargon jollies in the subject line; I woke up two and a half hours early this morning and couldn't fall back asleep. This occurred after dreaming that DeForest Kelley, Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner were doing semi-graphic things (while fully clothed, at least). )

I don't know. It made sense at the time? Certainly the dozen or so of us spectators who were gathered around the table were marveling that this was allowed on television and delighting in the dialogue. Wish I could remember it.

That meant I spent a good portion of the morning with "Last Friday Night" stuck in my head, after this vid. Not sure if that's better than last night, which involved Kansas in August. Welcome to the inside of my head.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
...albeit spotted with mysterious small bites from the bed I've been sleeping in.

After a dream last night with a giant spider, there was one in which I convinced Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who was about to rob a store with buddy Seth Rogen, to handcuff me so it would look like I wasn't aiding and abetting. There commenced a highly pleasant experience involving our bodies and the side of his car.

There was also a dream in which Wilson and Thirteen were having fairly graphic sex while House, who'd arranged it, watched. As I marveled that that would be allowed on network television, House considered the scene and then shook his head and said it had been better when Wilson and Thirteen's relationship had been platonic.

And now, off for a fangirl-filled Sunday in the city. Betting it'll be the best day of the holiday.

Fry Day

Oct. 21st, 2011 06:05 pm
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
Managed to have dreams last night about House (House had stitched up an internal injury on himself and now he was morbidly obsessed with seeing how the sutures were healing, so he kept doing self-destructive things to try to incur an open abdominal wound and take a look, and Wilson was tearing his hair out trying to stop him), Inception (something about Arthur and Eames; don't remember) and Project Runway (Anya was saying she and Joshua weren't getting along because they'd slept together earlier in the season). I don't even know.

This week has been a bit of a roller coaster. Let us focus on the good things. Like having made several donations; everyone and their brother seems to be doing pledge drives this week. Or how [ profile] catilinarian emailed from the UK slash con Connotations to say "They Want More" appeared in the vid show! Or how I love my Festivids assignment and there are also two possibilities for treats. Or how I will totally be making these Oreo turkeys for Thanksgiving gifts. Or how I discovered this amazing, if possibly permanently incomplete, Doctor Who noncon/dubcon tentacle slavefic PWP with Amy/alien and past Amy/dom!Eleven. You're welcome.

Renaissance Festival turned out to be lots of fun last weekend. It was large and nicely shaded, the weather was great, and I was impressed by the quality of many of the arts and wares for sale—dresses, capes, vests, masks, intricate metalwork (helmets, goblets, battle axes, chain mail, jewelry, etc.), leather-bound journals, mead, spices, musical instruments. (I got to play a hammered dulcimer! Took a little while to get used to the way the notes are laid out on the board.) Not only meat but a whole array of foods available on a stick, including chocolate-covered cheesecake and macaroni and cheese. There was a large intersection with Harry Potter themes and fans; magic wands for sale, Hogwarts outfits, that sort of thing. A couple of girls next to us in one costume shop were having a conversation about how cool it would be to wear item X to the Quidditch World Cup that is apparently coming up in NY or somewhere.

Pix! )

In conclusion: By Jove, I will either finish this House Halloween-themed WIP from 2007 by next Monday or I will amnesty-post it as is and stop thinking about it.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
I've had a handful of recurring dreams since high school: where the car brakes don't work, where I'm late for a school exam and I can't even remember having taken the class, where I'm being hunted by dinosaurs, and more recently, where the sea looms with huge, overwhelming waves. Last week I managed to have a dream where I was being hunted by dinosaurs while on a boat that was being flooded with huge, overwhelming waves. On the funnier side, the T. rexes at some point turned into sharks with possibly Australian accents like in Finding Nemo.

Despite the above implications, life has been pretty good lately. I am remembering how to be slothful without hating myself, and I met someone attractive at a party who seemed to enjoy talking with me. There was a birthday and a baseball game. I just got back from finally finding a passable bathing suit (shopping for a bathing suit in the summer is apparently unclassy; half the stores have already replaced their displays with fall and winter coats), and the store was near a kosher grocer that sold all sorts of goodies, like fresh seedless marble rye bread and stuffed cabbage. Score!

Starting Friday, this month there will be weekend trips to visit people I like but don't get to see very much. With my mom having been sick, I didn't take any proper time off this year; and in part because of my friend's wedding/prep, I didn't last year, either; and the year before that was grad school. With luck, next summer there will be an actual vacation to somewhere I haven't been before—plans are taking shape for Finland and possibly Sweden.

I hope to write some ficlets while sitting in the bunch of airports this month's travel requires. There are Kink Bingo ideas percolating. Maybe even a Porn Battle snippet? Or maybe I will fail at everything like usual and just read a book.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
1. My Jurassic Park vid showed at [ profile] vidukon this weekend, and at least three people liked it. :) Neat-o.

2. Speaking of Sheppard, which we were yesterday:

2a) Excellent SGA kink meme fill that transforms the "magical healing cock" cliché into a thinky and sexy story in which Sheppard has to deal with consent and privacy issues when his semen acquires actual therapeutic power. It features John/Jennifer with a lovely sprinkling of dom/sub dynamics; plus many other John couplings and a hefty dubcon warning. As I was writing in my comment that I loved the way Sheppard's bisexuality and submissiveness were simply part of the story instead of being treated with a huge amount of fanfare or angst, and ditto for the sexual preferences of two officers, just nicely done, understated, effective, it occurred to me that the author could be [ profile] bluflamingo, as that's something I tend to like in her fics, and she has also handled consent issues well in the past. But who knows.

2a.1) I've already recommended the other sexy John/Jennifer story with even more medical kink and dom/sub dynamics and less dubcon, where John keeps showing up with things up his ass and eventually Jennifer puts them there, right? Right.

2b) I had this dream last night where I'd kidnapped Sheppard and had his wrists tied with an elastic hair band and was trying to get him to wear this mismatched pair of shoes, and actually it was all very heartwarming, but that is about all that will translate without becoming boring, so here, have some more recs.

3. Meanwhile, in the fandom I'm still not talking about, there was hot Eames/17-year-old!Arthur in Vegas. And another Eames/just-underage!Arthur fic, Making Partner. Both of these work just as well if you don't know the movie.

And I could assume that if you're interested in this ~mysterious unnamed fandom~ that you're reading helenish's stuff, but just in case, she did an amnesia fic in which forgetting allows the couple to remember and/or realize some things about their relationship; and a pair of older stories I'd missed one of, wherein Arthur (in one story; Eames in the other) had to pretend to be Eames' (ditto) boyfriend to avoid arousing the ire of serious criminals; and also today I finally read through her ongoing snippet series and found several parts to be quite sexy, either because there was sex (Arthur/OFC called Liesl) or because there was angst about not having sex when both of them (Arthur/Eames, that is) actually wanted to. Nice to be literate once again in a fandom helenish is writing in.

4. Yes, that ended on a preposition. The current essay in DF Wallace's book is about grammar snobbery and is both fun and interesting, even if he lambastes descriptivism. Today at work there was a prime example of his point that norms-based prescriptivism can never die because we'd be left with ambiguous sentences like the one in a summary I was reading: "[Woman's name] has a son who is 8 years old and has a part-time job in a hospital as a surgical technician."

Coworker One: Doogie Howser?
Coworker Two: He'd better go full-time or he'll never make surgeon when he's 10.

5. Aimee Mann concert tomorrow with [ profile] cincodemaygirl and [ profile] gblvr, hooray. Tidbit of the day: I would have used an Aimee Mann song for Festivids had my assignment been different.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
Okay, now that this fic is finished, I can rec it to you with a thousand exclamation marks: Arthur/Eames pediatrician kink meme fill, for the prompt: Arthur is seventeen, and still sees a pediatrician. A handsome, British, pediatrician. Who maybe gets a little too handsy sometimes…

I don't even know how to express how much this is like the perfect medical kink story to me. It's the closest I've ever seen a kink fantasy of this type come to reality in what happens and how the characters behave. There's the stethoscope and the exam table paper and the hands palpating and the clinical-but-maybe-sexual frisson to it all, and just. I won't give away what happens, but the story is unutterably hot, and I'm so glad it doesn't cop out at the end into a dream or a "surprise, we were roleplaying" scenario. I wouldn't necessarily recommend it if you have a strong embarrassment squick or if you can't tolerate doctor/patient or student/teacher or those kinds of semi-abuse of power dynamics even when the young person is initiating and/or very much into things, and there are medical and office inaccuracies for the sake of the kink, but otherwise, ten thumbs up. If you're concerned about not knowing Inception, this is an AU and there's an age change, so basically it reads like original characters.

ETA: Ha, it's by [ profile] recrudescence! Had been wondering if it was by someone I knew, but the style didn't seem to suit. Anyway, edited all-in-one story here.

Now, if only the gymnast WIP—a masterful example of how to build sexual tension—would be updated…


Speaking of Inception—which I am not—Netflix recommended a movie called The Reckoning, which I was ambivalent about until someone posted a gif of Tom Hardy dressed as a startlingly attractive woman that came from it. That tipped the scales, and I rented it. It turned out to be an excellent movie all around... )


About a vid, a premiere, dance and badminton. )

Alexander Skarsgard (Eric on True Blood) showed up out of nowhere in a dream the other night. I was on some bleachers in a gym. He came up and sat in front of me and I put my arms around his neck, platonic and happy, and showed him off as a celebrity friend-acquaintance to my mom. He had the same build as in reality: tall as hell, all sleek and Nordic and solid through the shoulders.

There was this other, vivid dream where I was having sex/foreplay with my friend's significant other, where we were working off a written list of activities that said friend had approved.

Subject for another post: It seems I have a biological clock, and it is ticking a libido rhythm.


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