Jun. 19th, 2013 06:13 pm
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (RSL neil window)
Things to post about:

- Reaction to Man of Steel vs. reaction to Star Trek: Into Darkness
- Thoughts on last 50 Shades book (before I forget even more of what happened)
- Health/food/activity
- Emotional resources needed for upcoming NY trip

I owe many people comments and emails and I'm really sorry about that. I will get to them.

For now:

Kink Bingo is ramping up to its next round, which means a wave of thinky kinky posts. Have you seen these in particular?

Voyeurism as identity by gala_apples—a fascinating personal story about coming to understand oneself as a voyeur more than as sexual or asexual.

Tentacle kink in quilting by jelazakazone—not sure if I recced the two quilts jelazakazone posted as part of last year's Bingo, so consider this a double rec: a set of beautiful sea creature quilts and an interesting write-up on the sensory experience of making them.

Noncon, dubcon, and fannish standards by thingswithwings, which wasn't for ramp-up but might as well have been—about some problems with the "dubcon" label for fanworks.

Have been mostly lying fallow, fic- and vid-wise, for months, but find that I am looking forward once again to this summer's Bingo round; ideas are already stirring. Feels good.


Watched season three of Game of Thrones and the second half of this season's Doctor Who, am keeping up and enjoying with Defiance, and am ready for another ridiculous installment of True Blood. Taking evening walks around the neighborhood has meant more time to listen to Pop Culture Happy Hour podcasts, which are light and fun, even when I disagree with every host about Star Trek: Into Darkness' value as a Trek property and as an action movie. Making my way slowly through Michael Ondaatje's The Skin of a Lion.

I didn't realize how intense GoT was at a rate of two episodes per night before bed until it started keeping me awake, whoops. Loved sinking into the high production quality, as always. Likewise enjoyed following the themes in each episode. Yet, in the latest example of Obvious Epiphany is Obvious, while watching, I felt the familiar itch for something to happen, already; thought again about how the whole thing is like a giant chess game, all the pieces moving and being moved and getting knocked out and setting others up for destruction, the expert players and the amateurs and the lucky ones; a whole season and everyone moves like an inch on the board; and only then did the brain go ping to the title GAME of Thrones, duh, telling you from the start that it really is all about the machinations. If you're in it for the destination instead of the journey, it's going to be tedious.

Also had a fabulous evening at the ballet a couple of weeks ago when Tropical Storm Andrea blew through. Ballet Across America: companies from Austin, North Carolina and Harlem did a performance each and they were all fantastic. One featured three or four couples in different solid colors dancing in beautiful symmetries to Rachmaninoff below a set of dimming and brightening chandeliers. The second was a gorgeous piece about recovery from the Holocaust, set to Philip Glass, part of a larger award-winning work. The last (sorry, it's really flickery) was an exuberant, athletic, celebratory fusion of urban dance and classical ballet, cheeky and fun, pirouettes and booty shakes, set to James Brown and Aretha Franklin. All received standing ovations, well deserved.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
Ugh, today. My building's fire alarm went off at 2:15 a.m.—the universe has been against me getting a good night's sleep since last Wednesday—and then my pants button randomly popped off a few minutes after I staggered into the office, ha. This after dreaming that deelaundry got upset about something some other fans said in person.

Hasn't been a total wash, though; I also had a dream where you could go to this aquatic arena, get fitted with SCUBA gear, and get sucked up into and shot out of a giant artificial tentacle that felt like a life-size version of those squishy plastic and gel tubes you find at some gift shops (or, er, probably also like male sex aid sleeves). It was long and detailed—the woman in charge gave me a nose clip on request, and I remember easing into breathing underwater—and, I must say, a lot of fun.

Kink Bingo

Speaking of tentacles and things to look forward to: Kink Bingo'll be starting up again in a couple of weeks, hurrah. There are some exciting new categories/squares. Last year I had fun knocking out a bingo that was all Inception recs; this year I bet I could do one that's all Karin (Mary Sue) stories. Not that a lot of people would want to read them, but whatever, I have a bunch of personally satisfying WsIP in that arena. Plus there are leftover non-Mary Sue ideas from previous rounds—still want to do the Brimstone AU with Ronon Dex for "tattoos," for example, and a Vampire Diaries breathplay picspam, and a Kill Your Darlings multi-kink vid—oh, there's a movie to pimp at the next [ profile] con_txt Small Fandom Dating Game!—and who knows what new ideas will be inspired by the 2012 card.

Relatedly, have you seen this amazing kink quilt that [personal profile] flyingthesky designed and made?? Their write-up is as funny as the quilt is impressive.

Ramp-up to the next round is going on right now. This watersports essay looks interesting.

...God, I really need to answer the rest of the comments to my noncon essay from last ramp-up.


Submissions for Vividcon's premieres show are due a week from Friday. At this point, my only shot is to finish that People of Pegasus Are Really Pissed Off vid from two years ago. It's like 90% filled in, but a) I'm not sure it's Premieres material and b) that completion percentage will drop quite a bit if I start knocking the clips out of their cut-to-the-beat pattern like I want to. I don't suppose any of you with expertise in SGA and/or Vividcon would want to offer advice on a complete draft?

The joy and confidence boost of con.txt this weekend convinced me that I do want to go to Vividcon this summer. I'd registered, but I was hesitant about following through, in part because I know the experience won't be like the last/first time I went, in 2010 (and because I wasn't sure about other summer travel). There were a dozen people I was thrilled beyond words to meet and/or hang out with who won't be going this year—thingswithwings, eruthros, anatsuno, isagel, roga, chagrined...—and it's harder when you don't have a con buddy. But. One, the schedule looks fantastic. Two, I'll have at least two vids showing, and it would be great to be there to see how they're received.

To bolster enthusiasm between cons, hopefully without burning ourselves out, chatting with cinco led to the idea of maybe organizing a vid-watching party for my birthday next month. If so, I'll be asking you for your recommendations!


Riverdance was a treat on Sunday. Beautiful weather out on the lawn at Wolf Trap at twilight, and after inhaling a sandwich—amazing how three days at a con will mess with your eating patterns and body awareness—I even managed to watch the whole thing without having to lie down. The step-versus-tap number was stunning, and the falling darkness added an extra sense of eeriness to the starscape photo behind one of the instrumental pieces. I did miss the Russian dervish, though. Overall the show lacked some power by virtue of it being my second time seeing it and at a distance as well, plus perhaps the small stage, but we'd inadvertently caught the last performance in North America after a 16-year run, so there was palpable emotion during the producer's introduction and the company's final curtain calls.

Happy summer, Northern Hemisphereans. We're hitting 100 degrees here today and tomorrow.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
This month's [community profile] kink_bingo challenge is "new horizons"—trying something you haven't tried before. Like many people who participate, I am always trying to try (heh) new things—for instance, before the last round I hadn't pieced together a found poem, or made a vid constructed entirely of intercuts, or vidded DS9 or cartoons, or done themed recs sets, or explored several of the kinks in the squares I filled—so this challenge didn't motivate me in and of itself. But lo, the very next day [ profile] kickair8p announced over at [ profile] tentacle_fest that some powerful 3-D graphics software s/he uses to make tentacle art is available for free through the end of March. Cue [ profile] synn and I spending a day downloading the stuff and figuring out whether we could make it work.

I'd never tried anything like 3-D rendering before, but with some quick tutorials, hair-pulling, and a troubleshooting tip from [ profile] kickair8p, I learned how to pose pre-made human figures and configure $10 worth of props around them such as (*cough*) tentacles and torn clothes. Because what is the purpose of 3-D software for someone whose drawing ability has barely evolved beyond stick figures if not to make dirty pictures? Whee.

And so with no further fanfare, I present to you my first, wobbly creations. Warning that some can be interpreted as noncon.

Girl in green tentacle attack pose from various angles. Not explicit, but still probably NSFW. )

Girl in squiddy tentacle attack pose from various angles. Ditto the above. )

Girl and guy in aggressive, dom/sub or nonconsensual pose, as you prefer to read it. Again, not explicit, but NSFW. )
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
Carl Zimmer did a nice overview piece on slime molds in yesterday's Science Times—Can Answers to Evolution Be Found in Slime?—which made me go back and reread Auburn's wonderfully creepy SGA sci fi fic The Taste of Apples:
"Right now, it's acting like a symbiont, but it's not, it's an opportunist. When the colonies in your bodies are mature," Carson said in a rush, "we think it will digest the host material—"

"You mean us," Rodney interrupted flatly.

"—to provide itself with raw material to produce its fruiting body. That will be the phase that generates the worst danger of contagion, since it's the spores that spread the organism."
While we're on the topic of NYT articles and fandom, yesterday Natalie Angier did an interesting piece on pathological altruism that recalls some of Wilson's behavior, especially the giving of self to the point of harm for the sake of helping others because of a driving sense of hollowness; although I'd bet he doesn't pursue the sort of extremely aggressive treatment described in the lede against patients' wishes, that being more House's style (on the journey to a diagnosis, at least, not to cure what's already known).

Also, squid sex.

Also, for people interested in the RL U.S. homosocial continuum, an article called Allowing Teenage Boys to Love Their Friends, which touches on the angst young straight men can experience when they feel they can't be close to their male friends anymore and may not recognize what's going on or why.


Earlier, I had a heart-sinking moment when I read that David Hallberg is leaving the American Ballet Theatre for the Bolshoi. Not that my visits to NY in the last couple of years have included enough time to go to ABT performances, but it's always been in the back of my mind that I could see it (& him) again if I wanted. But! Further reading revealed that he is going part-time with both companies. Whew.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (feynman finger)
Ventured to Adams Morgan this morning with a coworker to browse the Crafty Bastards arts fair in the chilly rain. (It's fall! Hurrah!) Despite the weather, it was a good time. I even purchased some non-necessary items, such as a tiny crocheted jellyfish from needlenoodles (and now I know what amigurumi is, having wondered after this), a bit of wooden art featuring two jellyfish/octopi things reaching for each other, and "brain wash" soap for decoration. I also won a pickle on a stick at a Potbelly booth, and out of the blue met Jay McCarroll from season one of Project Runway! It is debatable which of the above made me happiest.

This week also included some much-needed clothes shopping, as I have about three long-sleeved shirts I can wear to work and no boots. So as of yesterday there are boots, and as of Thursday there is a sweater and a sweater dress. Maybe I can take care of the rest in one more trip (Columbus Day sales?) and be done for the winter. I do really like the dress and the boots, though. They're, like, almost fashionable?

If the new year is supposed to set the tone for the months ahead, I guess my theme is… commercialism? Or, to frame it more constructively, an attempt to present myself better through clothing and actually decorate my apartment after two years.

And now I will do some more freelance work to bump that disposable income back up.


Reason #8 I'm proud to be a (nonfictional) MIT alum: the Cornell-MIT Fictional Alumni Face-off. Round One: Lex Luthor vs. Ling Woo. (You can guess who won by a landslide.) Hoping David Levinson (Jeff Goldblum in Independence Day) shows up on the ballot! Other expected contestants include Tony Stark. Cornell doesn't stand a chance, mwahaha. Maybe another face-off will follow with a fairer match pitting MIT against Harvard. Or Oxford or Cambridge.

My favorite exchange from the comments section:

Doug Hough says: Lex Luthor is what all MIT students would like to be, if they had the personality.
Kestrell says: Actually, there are a few of us who would like to be Richard Feynman, if only we had the personality.


L'shana tova, everyone who is celebrating. ♥
bironic: cute drawing of a squid holding a heart (tentacles are for hugging)
I don't think I'm even doing this row on my [info -]kink_bingo card, but that apparently didn't deter me. Behind the cuts are 83 multifandom and original art (though not original by me) icons for my tentacles square. Includes f/f, m/m, f/m, f, m, and, of course, tentacles.

Please note that a lot of these images came without artist or source attribution. I've credited sources where I could. If you know any others, I will gladly credit them.

The first section is rated G to PG-13. The rest are rated B for breasts (no genitalia) and are NSFW.

Cute tentacles! )

Consensual tentacles! )

Body Parts & Tentacles! )

NONCON & Ambiguous Tentacles! )

RL/Erotica Tentacles! )

Icons are of course available to all, to use or modify as you please. I only ask that you don't hotlink them.

Please share this post around with anyone who might be interested in using these!
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
[ profile] thingswithwings wrote a story for meeeee! It is the Kink Bingo Arbitrary Mod Prize she and [ profile] eruthros bestowed last round and it is called Germination and you should go read it.

To describe it one way: At first blush, to me, it's about the hesitance and awkwardness and ultimately the freedom and satisfaction of exploring new kinks in a relationship, and about overturning expectations of how a woman might feel empowered by something that others call monstrous.

To describe it another way: It has tentacle roleplay and functional Jennifer/Rodney and wonderful morbid humor and emotionally!hopeless!John and a running gag about animal transformation and sestina-like recurrence of the phrase "hive ship" and also pegging!

Or, to put it a third way: It is like a mix-remix of my "Seed" vid that won the mod prize and my beloved Rodney/Katie story that helped complete the bingo. In "A Week in the Life," Katie wanted Rodney to dominate her; in "Germination," Rodney wants Jennifer to dominate him. In the "Seed" vid, icky scary tentacles became erotic; in the fic, Jennifer's horrible transformation becomes a source of desire. Nifty!

It makes me happy. Even more so, as I'm not in Remix this year and haven't had anything creative to offer in a while.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
5. I have been sleeping so well the last couple of days; I am suffused with peace and tranquility good will. Last night brought a handful of interesting dreams. One of them involved the SGA crew being made to drink draughts of something like vodka because they'd investigated a gold beacon in a city like Atlantis, and after, Sheppard was nauseous, living/reliving painful memories, while everyone else had come out fine because the drink's effects were supposed to be temporary.

4. Last month's news, but oh my God, what a train wreck. Hey, did you know that a population with 55% women is equivalent to "Girlington"? NY Times fails again. One sane response here.

4a. Have this pre-Oscars Meta Awards list and Existential Olympics report to recover. Titles are funnier than the descriptions in the latter.

3. Today in a meeting, one of my colleagues in introducing me to a group of contractors said that I went to MIT and was therefore the smartest person in the room. That sort of comment makes me really uncomfortable. Because part of me says, Yeah, I might be. (Ten years ago, I would have thought, Yeah, I am.) And another part says, The school doesn't make the person; and school-smart doesn't mean everything-smart. And another part quails because I'm not always confident in myself. Ugh. I remember once, in my first year at my old job, everyone comparing what their SAT scores had been in high school, and me dreading the inevitable. After the guy who'd started the conversation pushed me to say mine, they were all whistle-y and wondering what I was doing working there and saying I must spend all day thinking about how stupid their conversations were. And what are you supposed to say to that? That in your own group of friends, you're ordinary? That kind of teasing or big-deal-making makes intelligence something to be embarrassed about, and when you try to disclaim the magical brilliance they pin upon you, you risk being accused of excessive or false humility.

2. The Plagiarist's Dirty Dozen Excuses. This came up on Slate the other day and made me think of those semi-annual fannish plagiarism scandals. The article is about a reporter, so some of the details don't apply, but the themes of deflection, self-contradiction, and calls for pity certainly sound familiar. Fandom could add an item or ten to the list. Or Bingo card.

1. If you really love me, you'll post prompts for tentacle_fest. I just left ten over there and feel embarrassed for my enthusiasm. Or prompt me here. Whichever. (Have I mentioned lately that I'm absurdly glad for fandom, because it taught me that it's okay to like what I like? Even when things turn around so that it's many people in fandom who don't share this particular taste, I've got the confidence to own it.)

0. Congratulations to [ profile] pynelyf on clearing a huge hurdle toward her doctorate! And all my love and best wishes to S. and L., who could use something nice right now.
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (RSL neil window)

Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Pairings: Radek, John, Ronon, Jennifer, and tentacles
Rating: PG-13
Length: 57 sec.
Contains: Heavy implication of tentacle sex, dubcon, John on his knees
Acknowledgements: The idea to use breathing instead of music came from a vid called "Hands" by [ profile] newkidfan that used heartbeats (and that may no longer be online). And I stole adapted the quick fade in/fade out technique from [ profile] thedeadparrot's beautiful ST III vid Searching.
A/N: "The Seed" was just begging for this. Happily, [ profile] kink_bingo came along with its "tentacles" square. Sorry for the watermark; my S5 DVDs accidentally got shipped to another state.

Streaming on YouTube and Vimeo | Download mp4 (10 MB)

Embedded behind the cut. )

x-posted to sga_noticeboard and atlantis_vids

Arbitrary mod prize yay! Germination by [ profile] thingswithwings

bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (sheppard's hands in plastic cuffs)
I forgot to watch House in time, so I wrote this instead. (I hear it's good practice to write things without agonizing over whether they're good enough?) NC-17, PWP, bondage, 505 words. Follows the tentacle fic, but you don't have to read that first. Or, you know, at all.

Sometimes, John fantasizes about going back to the planet with the tentacle creature. )

x-posted to sga_noticeboard and mckay_sheppard
bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
I am back in Internet-land, and I have a story for you! There are tentacles. Please don't disown me.

Title: Why Rodney Should Stop Recommending Planets the Ancients Struck from their Database, or, The One with Tentacle Hentai
Pairing: Rodney/alien creature, John/alien creature
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Issues of consent; kink: tentacles
Word Count: 6,230
Summary: Non-cracky PWP in which a many-limbed creature takes a special interest in John and Rodney.
Beta: Thanks especially to [ profile] jadesfire2808, [ profile] deelaundry, [ profile] celebriangel and [ profile] usomitai for concrit. I hope they don't mind being associated with this.
A/N: Thank you, [ profile] kink_bingo, for giving me an excuse to write some tentacle porn in SGA. And hey, it only took ten months to come back and finish it.

Being eaten by an overgrown octopus hadn't even made his list of absurd ways he could die in this galaxy. )

Concrit is always welcome.

x-posted to kink_bingo, sga_noticeboard and mckay_sheppard.

ETA: Little PWP sequel: In his room at night, alone.


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