bironic

Sometimes I wonder why I read the Globe's weather column when it is half dedicated to gardening and contains so many grammatical and typographical errors, like yesterday's "we are defiantly in an active wintry pattern" and "Some of you live in areas you can do burns this time of year, tomorrow would be a great day to set some of the brush ablaze" -- especially since on occasion the lack of a proofreader has made forecast statements confusing.

Then he says stuff like this, and I am reminded:

"Highs will reach 45-50F and it will feel very spring-like. Whatever Punxsutawney Phil says tomorrow, remember he's a rodent. While I might not always be correct, I tend to do better on forecasting the weather, although he can dig better holes."

Happy SuperGroundhogBowl Day. Have a video clip of my favorite scene from the movie.

1. My Jurassic Park vid showed at vidukon this weekend, and at least three people liked it. :) Neat-o.

2. Speaking of Sheppard, which we were yesterday:

2a) Excellent SGA kink meme fill that transforms the "magical healing cock" cliché into a thinky and sexy story in which Sheppard has to deal with consent and privacy issues when his semen acquires actual therapeutic power. It features John/Jennifer with a lovely sprinkling of dom/sub dynamics; plus many other John couplings and a hefty dubcon warning. As I was writing in my comment that I loved the way Sheppard's bisexuality and submissiveness were simply part of the story instead of being treated with a huge amount of fanfare or angst, and ditto for the sexual preferences of two officers, just nicely done, understated, effective, it occurred to me that the author could be bluflamingo, as that's something I tend to like in her fics, and she has also handled consent issues well in the past. But who knows.

2a.1) I've already recommended the other sexy John/Jennifer story with even more medical kink and dom/sub dynamics and less dubcon, where John keeps showing up with things up his ass and eventually Jennifer puts them there, right? Right.

2b) I had this dream last night where I'd kidnapped Sheppard and had his wrists tied with an elastic hair band and was trying to get him to wear this mismatched pair of shoes, and actually it was all very heartwarming, but that is about all that will translate without becoming boring, so here, have some more recs.

3. Meanwhile, in the fandom I'm still not talking about, there was hot Eames/17-year-old!Arthur in Vegas. And another Eames/just-underage!Arthur fic, Making Partner. Both of these work just as well if you don't know the movie.

And I could assume that if you're interested in this ~mysterious unnamed fandom~ that you're reading helenish's stuff, but just in case, she did an amnesia fic in which forgetting allows the couple to remember and/or realize some things about their relationship; and a pair of older stories I'd missed one of, wherein Arthur (in one story; Eames in the other) had to pretend to be Eames' (ditto) boyfriend to avoid arousing the ire of serious criminals; and also today I finally read through her ongoing snippet series and found several parts to be quite sexy, either because there was sex (Arthur/OFC called Liesl) or because there was angst about not having sex when both of them (Arthur/Eames, that is) actually wanted to. Nice to be literate once again in a fandom helenish is writing in.

4. Yes, that ended on a preposition. The current essay in DF Wallace's book is about grammar snobbery and is both fun and interesting, even if he lambastes descriptivism. Today at work there was a prime example of his point that norms-based prescriptivism can never die because we'd be left with ambiguous sentences like the one in a summary I was reading: "[Woman's name] has a son who is 8 years old and has a part-time job in a hospital as a surgical technician."

Coworker One: Doogie Howser?
Coworker Two: He'd better go full-time or he'll never make surgeon when he's 10.

5. Aimee Mann concert tomorrow with cincodemaygirl and gblvr, hooray. Tidbit of the day: I would have used an Aimee Mann song for Festivids had my assignment been different.

People are battening down the hatches here, waiting for the storm they're saying will dump a foot and a half of snow by tomorrow evening. It'll be our third storm in a week. I am loving this winter, and not just because I get to telework so much. Wednesday morning dawned with an otherworldly landscape: branches coated with wet snow, lit yellow-white against the blue-gray clouds, a pale disc of sun visible behind them.

As the first flurries are falling, here are three things that cracked me up yesterday:

1. An email confirming that I got a spot on the White House tour (yay!) instructed me as follows: "Please be in line at 12:45 p.m. and don't forget your id." I'm surprised they encourage such wanton behavior, since things like purses, pens, "personal grooming items," stun guns and martial arts weapons are forbidden. I'd wondered if I could even bring my apartment keys, but apparently they do allow those in.

2. This indescribable political ad, found via this Slate article. Skip the middle if you want, but be sure to tune back in for ~2:20. Just. *hand flail* The pedestal and the drama and the demon sheep. It is brilliant in its self-aware cheesiness. The fact that most of it is narrated by Robert Davi just makes it all the more awesome. KOLYA DOES NOT APPROVE OF HYPOCRITICAL FISCAL CONSERVATIVES.

3. Eric calling children "teacup humans" on True Blood. (Here is the scene - gets best after 1:10. The kid's delivery of the Jesus line is equally fantastic. Warning for a Sam-related spoiler from season one, a spoiler about the villain in season two, and a season two spoiler in the title of another clip that shows up in the sidebar and in the main window when the video finishes. You can avoid the first two if you skip to 1:10.) I love him so much, and am so glad he got more screen time.

Okay, back to work.

(These are a few of the funnier ones today. The rest just make me put my head in my hands and despair for humanity. You know, the usual.)


Conversation with co-worker C. after he got back from the gas station mini-mart:

C.: Look, I got a bag of peanuts.
Me: *squints* Those are sunflower seeds.
C.: *looks at them* Yeah, well, they've got nuts inside.
Me: No... they've got seeds.
C.: Whatever. They're peanuts.

Email exchange with manager:

Me: I would be much obliged if you could help me out by doing 1-2 paragraphs for the Elbow section on epicondylitis and medial instability. Just pathologies, no diagnostics or treatments. Here are some helpful resources: [four websites]

Manager: What sites are you using for research?

Me: *repeats four websites*

Manager: Medial instability as it relates to the knee or shin splints or????

Me: Elbow.

Manager: *sends text describing pathology, diagnostics and treatments*

Excerpts from a paragraphs-long email from the most senior member of another department:

I took the time to send this out to all of you because I have noticed so much of this process is going in the right direction that this is a great example of how to refine it. [...]

All the other area's need to be invoiced and signed off on. I understand this is not your area, and it's not ours either. Anytime a client says to you they want something that they have not paid for send it to the salesperson, that is what I have to do anyway. I know you know this, I know you are just passing along the requests they have made. I really appreciate it, and don't want you to ever not do so. This tells us what we are in store for.

Things like a "balance" between content, and means more content and keyword rich content is not even a question needed to be asked (I know that's not English).

As far as bold links and titles ect. YES! You can't have to many links. You can't be to clear. I have said enough.

Yes, you really have.
 

The response from the hotel contact regarding Internet access:

there is no charge for the internet at either hotel we do have hard
wire access if need at the [hotel 1] just bring your own ethernet cord
we have them but they are for sale at thee [hotel 2] they are
provided for you to make a reservation at either just give the hotel of
your choice a calll directly and they will be more than happy to help
you thanks for inquireing

Am tempted to write back, "your welcome thanx for you're response i have my own cabble am going to send my reservation sincerely."