(no subject)

[bironic]

Yesterday, my boss came up to my cubicle with a graying, kipa-clad man in tow and said, "This is Mr. N, our building manager. His mother was in Auschwitz. I was telling him about your trip. You should talk." And left. Turns out the guy's mother lost eight siblings and her parents in the war, survived until liberation with one brother and that was it. She helped commit sabotage during a stint in a munitions factory at one point and was one of Mengele's "patients" because she had blue eyes, and she died while Mr. N. was young—but not so young that he hadn't learned her story from her. (That seemed unusual; you hear a lot about how survivors didn't talk to the first generation, and it's been the second generation who open dialogues about their experiences in the camps.) He talked about how his mother wanted him to know everything, and how he'd gotten stuck in Hungary (where his family was from; and how strange was that, to meet someone born to one of the hundreds of thousands of Jews famously shipped in to the freshly constructed Birkenau camp) as a Refusenik after the war when the Russians moved in, and how he came from the generation who never knew what it was like to have grandparents, so he's borrowing from what he knows of other people's now that he's a grandparent himself.

I'll say one thing about the March of the Living trip: It's certainly done its job in starting conversations.

.

Tomorrow I'll be turning 26 on the 26th (is there a name for that kind of birthday?). I wanted to write a story for the occasion, but I only managed a few hundred words of House-Wilson in what was basically a free day today. Nothing's biting. I'm considering being introspective and possibly angsty about where my desire to write fiction has gone and how it relates to things like performing for a community and getting bogged down in plot and characterization when it comes to sex stories instead of writing what I want without self-consciousness, but I think that belongs in a spiral notebook and not here.

On the plus side, there will be good food and Star Trek DVDs this weekend.

Comments

[zulu.livejournal.com]

But I want to know your introspective thoughts on performing in the community! I have those thoughts too, but they're less about my fic and a lot more about how I can't post personal-journalish things because too many people are reading; I am, or more to the point, my journal is, always-already about how an audience will perceive what I choose to share.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Mm, maybe I'll pull enough thoughts together for a post about it. It's something I've struggled with for a long time now, and outside stresses make it worse. *thinky face*

[recrudescence.livejournal.com]

Way to put you on the spot, hm? Even though I've read Holocaust memoirs, I can't imagine how I would react if I was hearing it all straight from the source.

Happy early birthday, though--anything you're in the mood for, fic-wise?

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Hey, thanks. :) Is that an offer? It feels weird to request something, like, HEY, WRITE ME FIC. But if you wanted to, then ... hm ... I love your Thirteen, so more of her in the world would not be a bad thing. Or, um, sex toys? Those are always fun. Or whatever. Or nothing. *fails utterly at this*

Way to put you on the spot, hm?

Oh my goodness, yes. Awkward. But rewarding by the end. Just tough to ease into it -- I mean, it's one thing to be fascinated by survivor testimonies and quite another to probe some guy about what happened to his mother. Have to strike a workable tone of "Jesus, that's horrible -- tell me more."

Anyway. Have a great trip this weekend! I will wave at you from semi-afar.

[recrudescence.livejournal.com]

Thirteen and/or sex toys...hmmm. =)

[firestorm717.livejournal.com]

I turned 21 on the 21st, so I guess you could call it a lucky double birthday? ^_^

[bironic.livejournal.com]

*high-fives you*

[perspi.livejournal.com]

It's your golden birthday!! Happy birthday!!! *glee* (Incidentally, mine's the fifth of the month. I was seven before I found out what golden birthdays are, and I was terribly disappointed to have 'missed' mine.)

And also, oh how fascinating. But a dilemma, yes.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

It's your golden birthday!!

Indeed it is! Wikipedia gives synonyms of "grand" and "star" birthdays. Neat.

I was seven before I found out what golden birthdays are, and I was terribly disappointed to have 'missed' mine.

Alas. On the other hand, you can celebrate it every ten years on the five. :)

[bironic.livejournal.com]

And guess what guess what! I was just given a box of Godiva dark chocolate truffles, and one of the first things I thought -- after "OMG, are the key lime ones in here?" -- was, "Yay, research for the chocolatier AU!"

[roga.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday! It's been the 26th here for 6 hours now - my, but you're aging fast... :-)

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear, don't remind me. :D

Thanks!

[purridot.livejournal.com]

Just got your postcard today! Thank you so much! It was very cool that it would come the day after you talked about Masada -- I had been musing over those images all evening, thinking of how peaceful the modern guest house looked, like an oasis in the desert(and wondering where its water supply came from), and thinking of the Romans there (and wishing their applied their determination elsewhere).

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Yay! And thank you for the virtual sushi! It looks very tasty.

like an oasis in the desert(and wondering where its water supply came from)

You know, I'm not sure where they get their water, whether it's purified from the Dead Sea or brought in from elsewhere. At Masada, there was a neat diagram showing an intricate series of channels and cisterns Herod had built to collect what little rainwater falls in the region, complete with a herd of mules to carry buckets up to the summit. Anyway, glad you got the postcard! There'll be some more Masada pictures for you in the next post...

[euclase.livejournal.com]

This gave me chills. About the man's mother and her experiences? And just the fact that he talked to you. Really amazing.

[jadesfire.livejournal.com]

It sounds like your March of the Living trip is still going. That's an incredible story from what must have been an awkward beginning. I'm so glad you're getting the chance to hear it.

--

It's the 26th here now - happy birthday! And I'd be interested in the 'performing for the community' notes as well. Considering at least half my dreams feature LJ, and last night I had a lovely one where my story got heartily recced on an influential journal, I'm thinking I may have issues... ;)

Good food and Star Trek. Sounds perfect! Have a lovely day :) (present to follow...)

[bell]

my desire to write fiction has gone and how it relates to things like performing for a community and getting bogged down in plot and characterization when it comes to sex stories instead of writing what I want without self-consciousness

Wish there were a way around that. >__> I'd suggest you switch off the part of your brain where you think "OTHERS [THAT COMMUNITY] WILL READ THIS," but, I've suspected you've tried that already. The way I get around that, sometimes, is by hand-writing first-- then I can get out what's in my head and do the perfectionning thing later.

For your birthday, I too offer a drabble. Though after seeing your reaction to recrudescence, I'm not sure you'd be able to come with more prompts/requests. ^_~

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Well, thanks for the offer! You're right, I'm finding it hard to request things -- I don't know, there's a difference between prompting people who need prompts in general and prompting people when I know it's because it's for me, like it's obligating them to write something they may not want to. So, um. If you're looking for an excuse to do a snippet of one of your recent story ideas, like Crandall/Wilson or SGA or whatever? Regardless, thank you for the thought. ♥

The way I get around that, sometimes, is by hand-writing first

Yeah, that's a good method, and it works for me when I'm trying to get my own thoughts down. But for fiction-writing, I edit so much even when I'm writing quickly that it's hard to do it on paper vs. electronically. The best solution I've found is to write in Word instead of in an LJ draft window (which I only tried a couple of times).

[bell]

Well, when it's a few hundred-word drabble, it's not really all that hard to write something, even if it's against your natural grain. [To give you an idea, for a request, I wrote the beginning of Guy/Duck porn-- which, I assure you, is not something I'd write otherwise-- and even had fun of it.] In order words, don't feel bad about requesting something you'd like to see. At any rate, I'll see what I can do with what you've asked. ^_~

Writing in a LJ draft window? O__O That'd give instant perfomance anxiety right away, yeah. And Word is handy for when you want to go back and edit, and edit, and edit, and write a bit more, then edit....!

[bell]

Tadaaaa! ^_~ I'm afraid it's not all that polished, but it's the thought that counts, right? ♥ It's a couple of scenes that I didn't originally plan for the Wilson/Crandall story. I kept thinking of that proxy story I still wish you'd finish. /wistful/

[ahab99.livejournal.com]

Wow, what a story! Though I hate when people do that thing where they're like: here's a person! Discuss!

Happy birthday, btw!!!

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Thanks! And yeah, it was incredibly interesting, but there was definitely the "person thrust in face" factor, complicated by the fact that I have three cubicle neighbors who were all listening in.

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday, sweetheart! Since it's now the 26th and all.

And, I got your postcard! Thank you so much! :-D

I too would be interested in your thoughts on performing for a community. Because that's the best description I've ever seen re fanfic writing for yourself vs for others.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Sounds like it'll be a post eventually, then. Cool. Hard to tell sometimes what's interesting and what's navel-gazing.

Thank you, and glad you got the postcard! Everything seems to be arriving except the few I sent from Poland a week or two earlier. Hope those get through eventually.

[elynittria.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday!

Wow, it must have been a strange experience to have a face-to-face discussion with someone so close to the devastating effects of the Holocaust. I'm not sure I could have handled the situation.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Thanks! And thank you for the virtual ice cream! I'm pretty much planning to replicate those v-gifts at dinner tonight, hee.

It was tough. Although -- and this is going to make me sound like a horrible person -- I sometimes ask for information and forget that people are emotionally invested in the answers (i.e. one time my sister's friend was telling my family that her father had been diagnosed with cancer, and I asked what kind or something like that, and I got shushed because it was insensitive), so I was being careful to temper my intellectual interest in what happened to his mother.

[ignazwisdom.livejournal.com]

Hey, happy birthday! :)

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[daasgrrl.livejournal.com]

*checks calendar* I think I made it!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! \O/

(Oh, and just beginning to catch up now on my new!PC!, gorgeous 'last of the trip photos' *g*)

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Thank you! And, thank you. :) Hope to catch you more substantively soon.