bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
[personal profile] bironic
Happy birthday, [livejournal.com profile] deelaundry! I hope this isn't too weird a gift-ficlet.

Title: The Benefits of Dental Hygiene
Fandom: House/SGA
Pairing: Eric Foreman/Ronon Dex
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1,200
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
A/N: From Dee's prompt "floss" at [livejournal.com profile] oxoniensis's Porn Battle VII. PWP.
ETA: Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings for calling out the soap thing. Now fixed.

Read it there or check out the full version below.



Eric pushed open the door to the men's room, already reaching in his pocket for his floss. The wings here packed serious heat, but the stringy bits were always hell on his teeth. He nodded to a tall dreadlocked guy at one of the sinks before taking a sink of his own and snapping off a length of string.

As he worked, he glanced at the other guy in the mirror and saw that he was flossing, too. The dude was seriously buff, all sleek muscle and smooth skin under a sleeveless brown leather vest. He had a small dots-and-lines tattoo on his neck and another half-sleeve on his forearm under a wide leather cuff. Eric didn't recognize the designs.

When his gaze returned to the guy's face, he found himself being watched.

"Hey," Eric said around the floss. It broke the unspoken men's room rule, but so did checking out your neighbor. "Nice tats."

"You wanna fuck?" the guy said.

Eric almost sliced his gum open. "Excuse me?"

"Sheppard said when a guy gives you a look like that in a place like this, means he wants to fuck." He had a deep, no-nonsense voice, but it was softened by the amused eyebrow he'd raised.

Whoever Sheppard was, he was smart. Still, that was moving a little fast. "That's not what I meant," he finally answered.

"'Kay." The guy turned back to his reflection. After a moment, Eric did the same. He tried not to feel disappointed.

He finished flossing without injuring himself, rinsed and spat. The other guy crossed behind him on his way out. Eric lingered, washing his hands, to let him out first.

But the guy didn't leave. Instead, he leaned on the wall beside Eric's sink, giving him a glimpse of defined pecs. Eric looked up. The guy was a good head taller than him.

Dreads jerked his head and said, "Wanna fuck anyway?"

Eric took a longer look while he thought about it. He hadn't had much action lately, and the guy was hot, dressed in brown from head to foot—hair, goatee, vest, shirt, wrist cuffs, two belts, worn leather pants and scuffed boots. They weren't likely to be caught by anyone who mattered; Chase had taken a trip to piss after the last round, and Cameron only came into men's rooms when she was stalking House. If he took a while, they'd just think the spice had gotten to him.

"Yeah," Eric said.

At least the stalls here were clean. They took the handicapped one, rattling the door when Dreads pushed him up against it and kissed him. That was unexpected, but definitely not bad. The guy kissed exactly like he looked like he would, hard and deep and with teeth nipping at his lip. Eric gave as good as he got, enjoying the scratch of Dreads' longer goatee against his chin. Dreads' shoulders were warm and smooth under his hands.

Even better was the press of their hips together; he shifted his grip to Dreads' firm ass, rocking them to hardness.

Dreads pulled his head back. "Uh. How d'you wanna do this? You want to fuck, or…?" He made an expressive gesture.

"You can do me," Eric said.

The guy went right for his belt; Eric got the lubricated condom out of his wallet just before his pants dropped to his ankles. Dreads went to his knees along with Eric's boxers and sucked him in, hard and slick.

Eric hissed out a breath and closed his eyes. Christ, it'd been a while. The minute or so he spent reaching full hardness in the guy's mouth wasn't nearly enough.

When he pulled off, Dreads flashed a wicked smile up at him. Unsurprisingly, he had nice teeth.

They repositioned themselves, Eric bending over the stall's small sink while Dreads readied himself behind him. Eric undid his already loosened tie and the top few buttons of his shirt before handing the condom back.

Eric braced his hands on the wall, spread his legs and took a breath against the pending penetration. He got fingers first, two maybe; thick and spit-wet and good, if perfunctory.

Dreads had one hand on Eric's hip and the other next to his on the wall as he lined up and pressed in. Christ, yeah, he'd missed this. He groaned as quietly as he could when Dreads got all the way in. A minute to adjust, and then he pushed back, and Dreads started thrusting. He went slowly and steadily, but it was fierce somehow, intense. Eric let his head hang and pushed back until Dreads' grip tightened.

They were quiet, breathing heavily, Dreads' hair brushing the sides of Eric's face, heat building between them, sweat beading on the small of his back, and when he bent lower, the angle got even better. The guy let out soft grunts sometimes, and Eric hissed again when Dreads reached down to jerk him off ruthlessly.

It didn't take long; Eric came first, shooting into the guy's confident hand, and Dreads followed a couple of minutes later with a few quick, hard thrusts and a high sound like a whimper.

They cleaned up just as wordlessly. Eric finally saw the cock that had just fucked him: shorter than his, but thick enough and nicely flushed. Then it was tucked away behind soft leather.

"You good?" Dreads asked as he did up his belts again.

Eric tossed the wet paper towel he'd used to wipe his face. He felt satisfyingly used. "Yeah, man. Thanks." He smiled, and that earned him a swat on the ass and another mischievous grin before Dreads unlocked the door and stepped out.

"Okay," Eric said under his breath, but he couldn't help the spring in his step as he followed.

While he checked his tie in one of the mirrors, Dreads took out his floss again. Maybe the sixty-second blowjob necessitated a touch-up.

"Guess I'll see you around," Eric said, one hand on the door.

"I don't live here," the guy replied. "Nice, though."

Eric raised an eyebrow. "On vacation?"

"Friend's giving a lecture at the university." He spat and chucked the floss, then stood just shy of Eric's personal space, staring down at him with an unmistakeably pleased glint in his eye. "We done here?"

Eric nodded and went out. Dreads clapped him on the shoulder and jogged off. Eric glanced around as he made his way through the throng. Dreads had folded himself into a booth next to a fortyish guy with a mess of spiked black hair, one arm over the back of the bench and one leg out in the aisle. Across from them were a gorgeous woman in a brown leather bodice and a chubbier, sullen-looking guy in a suit. The dark-haired one laughed and Eric thought he heard him say something about sending in a search party, but it was hard to tell with all the noise in the place.

He shook his head, fighting a smug smile, and reclaimed his seat where Chase and Cameron were waiting.



* * *


x-posted to housefic, sga_noticeboard and gate_house

 

Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 07:00 pm (UTC)
sabinetzin: (sga - radio free dex)
From: [personal profile] sabinetzin
Oh, this is SO for the win. It's like, the definition of the win.

Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 07:35 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Nah, yours this morning was far more a textbook example. [ /circlejerk ] Glad you liked this, though! All credit to Dee for coming up with the pairing and prompt.

Wish I had a Ronon icon to use back atcha!

Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 07:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kassrachel.livejournal.com
aksljfsdlkfjasd;lfkjasd;lfkjas;lfkjasd;lfjk

That is ABSURDLY HOT. Holy mother of guh.

And I love that Foreman and Ronon are both flossing! Your Eric voice is awesome, and the details of this are just gorgeous.

Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 07:27 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Yay, thank you! Dee's prompt was truly inspiring. They both have such gorgeous teeth -- why shouldn't they meet over it? :D

Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 07:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] topaz-eyes.livejournal.com
Wow, that was quick. XD

And hot. And GUH.

Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 07:14 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
*g* Shh, I wrote it last night because I knew I had to do real work today. And then sat bouncing in my chair waiting for the battle post to go up.

Lookin' forward to some of yours!

Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 07:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deelaundry.livejournal.com
HOT. Oh my dear lord, SMOKIN. Wham bam thank you sir.

*smoke rings*

When I was thinking of prompts, "loss" and "boss" were serious, and then "floss" was just ha-ha-it-rhymes, but YOU turned it into THIS.

*mems*

Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 07:13 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (birthday cupcake)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
I loved your rhymes. :) "Floss" was just odd enough to spark something. I tried Foreman/McKay first, but it didn't take as well.

*hugs*

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] deelaundry.livejournal.com - Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 07:55 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com - Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 08:03 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 07:13 pm (UTC)
ext_25882: (Midnight Sun Over Greenland)
From: [identity profile] nightdog-barks.livejournal.com
Good God, this is hot. And very funny.

And did I mention hot? Yowza.

*mems, because duh, hot*

Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 07:26 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
I am glad you found it funny (and hot)! These two could have eyebrow wars.

Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 07:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spuffyduds.livejournal.com
It is not usually true of hot fic that it makes me want to go floss, but this one does. ;-)

Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 08:03 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
When floss --> crossover slash, who could blame you? :D Thanks!

Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 07:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] roga.livejournal.com
"You wanna fuck?" the guy said.

I believe the word is *sporfle*.

Also, mmmm. Me likes :-)

Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 07:58 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Oh, Ronon. Always cutting to the chase. (Hm, Ronon/Chase, now there's another idea. *g*)

\o/

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] sleepyheathen.livejournal.com - Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 10:14 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com - Date: Jan. 26th, 2009 12:48 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 09:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zulu.livejournal.com
Hee, awesome! And of course Sheppard would know exactly what kind of look in a men's bathroom gets you fucked.

Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 09:28 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Exactly. And just imagine the fun that was the session where Sheppard tried to demonstrate to Ronon just what kinds of looks he meant.

Am glad the most fervent Foreman fan I know approves of this!

Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 09:06 pm (UTC)
vexed_wench: (Default)
From: [personal profile] vexed_wench
this is great!

Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 09:29 pm (UTC)

Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 11:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chalcopyrite.livejournal.com
Wow. That right there is incentive to floss. Awesome and HOT and funny. And hot. :)

Date: Jan. 26th, 2009 01:27 am (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Hi, you. Thanks! New ad campaign for dentists, y/y?

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] chalcopyrite.livejournal.com - Date: Jan. 26th, 2009 01:53 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: Jan. 25th, 2009 11:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mikou.livejournal.com
Quick and hot can really hit the spot sometimes.

But if Ronon and Foreman meet up again sometime, I wouldn't mind. ^_~

Date: Jan. 26th, 2009 12:50 am (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
It wouldn't be hard to set up -- McKay could have an apoplectic fit at Princeton U. the next day, requiring a group trip to the PPTH clinic. If only there were more time in life for writing... :)

Thanks for reading!
Edited Date: Jan. 26th, 2009 12:50 am (UTC)

Date: Jan. 26th, 2009 03:27 pm (UTC)
silentflux: (SGA - Ronon - Yes)
From: [personal profile] silentflux
This? Was awesome :) Seriously, seriously hot plus amusing - just how I imagine this would go... you know, if they ever actually met ;)

Date: Jan. 26th, 2009 11:05 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Thanks very much!

Date: Jan. 26th, 2009 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thingswithwings.livejournal.com
This was so much fun! Neither of those guys get enough love, and I like the idea of them both being like, hell yeah. And Foreman's interior monologue was really good - I like his sort of precise, almost fussy, deeply calm decision-making process.

but, just fyi, soap as lube is a really, really bad idea.

Date: Jan. 26th, 2009 10:54 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Thank you! I wasn't sure if Foreman came across as having a character, so that's good to hear.

I was wondering about that. Question (if you have the time): what might you have written? I thought about Foreman having a lubricated condom, but didn't know if that would be slick enough, and spit is just, no, not in a little PWP like this.

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From: [identity profile] thingswithwings.livejournal.com - Date: Jan. 26th, 2009 11:43 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com - Date: Jan. 26th, 2009 11:50 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] thingswithwings.livejournal.com - Date: Jan. 27th, 2009 12:02 am (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com - Date: Jan. 27th, 2009 12:06 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: Jan. 26th, 2009 10:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rane-ab.livejournal.com
Ahahaha! OMG, in character!Ronon/Foreman! I don't know how you did it, but the result is certainly splendid. :D

Date: Jan. 26th, 2009 10:54 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Yay! Glad you enjoyed.

Date: Jan. 26th, 2009 10:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alizarin-nyc.livejournal.com
This. I. This.

Could not be any hotter. What a fantastic pairing, I LOOOOVE it. Ronon is just so Ronon.

*happy sigh*

Date: Jan. 26th, 2009 10:55 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Thank the prompter for the pairing; I don't think it would have occurred to me! I'm happy with the results, though, and happy to hear that you are as well. :)

Date: Jan. 27th, 2009 03:15 am (UTC)
ext_3244: (Default)
From: [identity profile] ignazwisdom.livejournal.com
Jesus H. Christ. WHERE HAS THIS STORY BEEN ALL MY LIFE?

Date: Jan. 27th, 2009 03:16 am (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
IN THE OTHER ROOM, WATCHING BLADES OF GLORY

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] ignazwisdom.livejournal.com - Date: Jan. 28th, 2009 04:00 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: Jan. 27th, 2009 05:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dragonladyk.livejournal.com
I like your Foreman much better than canon. :D

Love your Ronon, too, but he's practicallly canon, so--

DragonLady

Date: Jan. 28th, 2009 02:31 am (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Thanks! I'm glad you liked them both and that Foreman wasn't annoying. :)

Date: Jan. 27th, 2009 10:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imwalde.livejournal.com
So right up until when he thinks that Chase and Cameron won't come find him, I thought this was about Ronon and Topher Grace's character from That 70s Show, Eric Forman (http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0015044/), having never paid particular attention to how either Eric's last name was spelled.

Your version works, too, and makes WAY more sense in my brain! Anyway, I love your Ronon and his we done here? Heeeeee.

Date: Jan. 28th, 2009 02:30 am (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
LOL. SGA_newsletter, if that's where you came from, didn't include the crossover fandom in its description, for whatever reason.

Thanks, and glad you enjoyed!

Date: Jan. 30th, 2009 08:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emeraldsword.livejournal.com
*bounce*

Yeay!

Date: Feb. 1st, 2009 04:16 pm (UTC)

Date: Feb. 1st, 2009 03:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daasgrrl.livejournal.com
HEE! This was all kinds of awesome. I mean, I would never have read it if I hadn't stumbled across it, but... yes. (And it helped that I knew what Ronon looked like, when it comes to the kissing *g*). I loved the completely matter-of-fact conversation XD

Date: Feb. 1st, 2009 04:17 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Thanks! I am glad you found it fun.

Also glad to see that you have not melted into a puddle over there.

Date: Feb. 7th, 2009 04:23 pm (UTC)
sophinisba: Gwen looking sexy from Merlin season 2 promo pics (merry!)
From: [personal profile] sophinisba
This was awesome! And I don't usually even like physical descriptions of the characters in fanfic but damn! Ronon! And then the sex! Hooray, I'm so glad you did this.

Date: Feb. 8th, 2009 02:50 am (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Thanks! I'm happy it worked for you.

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