Ficlet: "A Measure of Comfort," Wilson/Cuddy, R

[bironic]

Oh my God, this is so over the top. And it is way past my bedtime.

Title: A Measure of Comfort
Pairing: Cuddy/Wilson
Rating: R
Word Count: 1,080
Spoilers: "Big Baby"
A/N: For the Porn Battle, prompt "endings." This is, once again, the full version, since I can't seem to write a proper comment!fic. Unbeta'd. Also, I know the title's bland, but the working one was James Wilson's Cure for Postpartum Depression," and that didn't strike quite the right note.



"Please go back to work." Lisa could feel the sobs pushing up in her throat, and she didn't want James around to see her lose it. This crack was already enough.

James sighed. He turned to leave, then changed his mind; reached out to touch her shoulder, but pulled back.

Finally, he said, "What you're going through… it's normal."

Lisa gave him a look.

He responded with a rueful smile, but went on. "You say you feel nothing. But that's because you're overwhelmed, not because you're a, a bad mother. You'll get through it. The both of you will."

"I don't know if I want to try," she confessed, voice going hoarse with the guilt of it. She dropped her gaze down to the bundle in her arms. This baby was everything she'd wanted, but all she felt was blank. Maybe she hadn't known what she really wanted. Maybe she'd been trying for something that wasn't hers to have.

James crouched in front of her and put a hand on her knee. She hadn't realized how cool the room was until the warmth spread from his fingers. "Lisa. Look at you. Your head is a mess right now. In just a few days, your whole life's been turned upside-down." He stroked his thumb back and forth along the inside of her knee. Startled, she looked up at him. Was he really—? "You need something to relax you. Something to feel good—uncomplicated, pure good. Take your mind off things, just for a few minutes."

As seductions went, it wasn't the smoothest, but the look on his face was so sincere, and her need to feel some kind of human connection right now was so strong, that she licked her chapped lips and considered it.

"I know you and House have… whatever it is you have." He smiled again, and this time she found herself giving a small smile back. "This doesn't have to mean anything beyond the here and now."

It was crazy. It was crazy. But she felt crazy right now, out of her head, dissociated somehow, and the idea of sex with someone she trusted, of being comforted, of letting James take care of her for a little while here while Cameron took care of the hospital, tugged at her like a lifeline.

He gazed at her steadily, still stroking. "Let me do this for you."

"Yes," she whispered.

He nodded, and as he stood, he brought his hand up to her cheek and kissed her forehead. She swallowed back tears.

"Let me put Rachel down for a nap," she said. "Meet me in the bedroom."

For all the tough times they'd seen each other through, they'd never done this before, but it felt natural to lie down side by side on the bed, fully clothed, sharing strangely platonic kisses. James was as gentle as she'd expected, working her hair free from the tie, rubbing her back and stomach in soothing circles through her shirt. She thought it would have irritated her any other time, this passivity and caretaking, but right now it was what she needed.

His hand rested on her waistband. "Okay?" he asked. When she nodded, he undid the button and zip and slipped his hand into her pants, stroking her to wetness through her panties with fingertips on the upstroke and smooth fingernails on the downstroke. He chuckled when she reached down to push the cloth out of the way. She let her eyes fall closed when he touched her bare.

The hand James wasn't using to tease up and down and circle her clit slid under her cheek to cradle the back of her head. She let him pull her across the few inches separating them to rest her forehead in the crook of his neck, and she breathed.

He really was good at this, she thought, as he alternated long and short movements, harder and gentler, on her clit and above and around it, building her up slowly and steadily. The two fingers he slid into her made her breath catch with pleasure. She wanted to relax into it, but somehow her lax hands in the blanket and on his shoulder had become fists, and one ragged breath led to another.

Crying during sex, now there was a sign of emotional stability. She sniffed and laughed at the same time; well, the whole point of this was that she wasn't feeling stable. Besides, if what House had been saying for years was true, bedding a weeping woman wasn't anything new for James.

"Shh," James whispered. He leaned back; she opened her eyes and watched him look at her. She knew he could see the lines on her face, more prominent every year, the bags under her eyes that had nothing to do with sleep deprivation and everything to do with the constant crying jags since Rachel had come into her life.

"Just feel good," he said, rubbing and stroking inside and out. She pushed away the voices telling her all the reasons she'd make a bad mother—the authors of those child-rearing books, her own, her mother's, House's—and pulled her legs closer together to sweeten the pressure. He sped up, grinding his palm into her mound, and when she tilted her hips towards him, she felt the orgasm approaching. She closed her eyes and let it come, pushing up into his hand.

When the pulses faded and her heartbeat began to slow, she rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling.

James spoke softly as he stroked her hip with slick fingers. "You've been waiting years for this. The anticipation, the setbacks, the hope, it's meant so much to you, and now it's finally happened. It's no wonder you don't know what to feel."

Her throat went tight. She pulled her clothes back on and sat up. "You should get back."

He sat up too, resting at the foot of the bed. He was probably trying to get her to look at him, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. God, she had a baby. And all she could think about was how to get out of it.

"Yeah," James sighed, and pushed to his feet. "Call me if you need to talk." She waved goodbye without looking up.

The front door opened and shut. On cue, Rachel started fussing in the nursery.

Lisa took a breath, wiped her eyes, and got up to see what the baby needed now.




* * *


x-posted to wilson_cuddy and housefic

 

Comments

[zulu.livejournal.com]

Ooh, I like this very much. I really felt like this was so Wilson, the way he's trying to take care of her now that she really needs it. This fits in perfectly.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Thank you. That scene -- after watching that scene, I almost turned off the TV so I could write this without distraction. It brought out this part of Wilson so clearly. Not that I think they would have gone there on the show -- they fought me all the way to the bedroom -- but with the Battle in session, this had to be written.

[thedeadparrot.livejournal.com]

I love the interactions here, the way Cuddy leans on Wilson, and the way Wilson lets himself be used. And I also really love how it ends, with Cuddy pulling herself together as Wilson leaves.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much. I tried to end it so that what happened mattered but wouldn't change her decision process in the rest of the episode.

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

DAMN.

I just watched this episode last night, and wow, this is exactly what the episode needed.

Also: hot, depressing, perfect, hot, and depressing, right in that order. I love the way you've written both of them here.

The more cavalier part of my brain wants to see the story where House and Wilson show up for an intervention and take turns caring for the baby and offering really hot comfort sex. House would bitch about it, of course, and Wilson would whap him on the back of the head, and Cuddy would laugh despite herself, and they would make it all better. But your story is more real, and more true.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

I hear cryptictac is working on a H/W/C post-ep, as it happens. :)

I'm so glad you liked this. It was tough to skirt the line between an organic progression from that scene and a melodramatic sobfest (plus I was writing very late), so it's nice to hear that the story worked.

[chase-austenfan.livejournal.com]

Loved this. That is all that my brain could come up with at the moment.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Thanks! My brain is a little fried too, no problem. :)

[polypragmosyne.livejournal.com]

HOT. Never thought about this ship before, but, uhm, wow.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

You should think about it! :) They are very sweet together, I think. (Except when Tritter was around; that was just depressing.)

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Beautifully written. "Just feel good," he said - something I think Cuddy has a very hard time doing, and I'm glad she got the opportunity to do it for a moment.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much; I really wasn't sure about the tone of this one and some of the phrasing. I was very happy to give her a moment like that, too! And not just for sympathy and wish-fulfillment reasons. :)

[euclase.livejournal.com]

This was really um... I dunno, my first reaction was "WTF WILSON." You captured his twisted sense of people pleasing so well that I almost forgot there was comfort sex involved. If House is "all morals, no compass," then Wilson is definitely "all compass, no morals."

And Cuddy's sobering up at the end was great.

Awesome. :)

[bironic.livejournal.com]

I think "all compass, no morals" should go on an icon with a background like yours here.

I had a bunch of WTF WILSON moments while writing this, to be honest! It did not want to go to a porny place. Like, "no, Wilson wouldn't say that. And Cuddy wouldn't agree. And and and." But it was for a porn fest, dammit, so they went there. So I'm glad that the way they did it felt right to you for the characters.

[alemyrddin.livejournal.com]

oh, Wilson. Yes, I can see him doing that.
Cuddy is lucky to have him comforting her for a little while.

this was beautiful-

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Isn't she just? :D Thanks very much.

[rosehiptea.livejournal.com]

I really liked this. I could hear their voices in this piece.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Thanks -- it's one of the most satisfying things to hear that character voices came out right.

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

One of the most important things about having a baby, is taking some "me" time for a few minutes--whatever that may mean. I love how gentle this is, that Wilson makes it all about her. Lovely.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Cuddy looked like she was in a real mental mess last night with all the baby's demands and her own doubts; I was happy to nudge Wilson into helping her take a moment out.

Remember that scene earlier this season where Wilson told Cuddy he's had a crush on her for a while, and Cuddy knew he was only saying it to manipulate her into admitting she wanted House (or whatever was going on)? I think he was telling the truth. At least, it looked like he let a moment of genuine hurt show on his face before agreeing with her that that's what he was doing. So here, even though he's concentrating on giving her pleasure, I think there's something in it for him, too, even beyond his general savior complex.

[crimson-rx.livejournal.com]

Really in character for Wilson! A really nice alternative ending! :D

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I like your icon, too.

[elynittria.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed this (and I generally don't read het PWPs). It was very much in character for both Wilson and Cuddy. Perfect!

[bironic.livejournal.com]

I am honored you took a chance on this! And happy you thought it felt right for them.

[arhh.livejournal.com]

Perfect :) Wilson does love vulnerabilty and that is why I think we see him hanging around Cuddy so much lately. I loved this:

"She sniffed and laughed at the same time; well, the whole point of this was that she wasn't feeling stable. Besides, if what House had been saying for years was true, bedding a weeping woman wasn't anything new for James."

[bironic.livejournal.com]

I agree -- Wilson and Cuddy seem like good friends when the writers want them to be, but Wilson's especially attracted to her at times like this (I'm remembering also the scene in her office a while back when she confessed she'd lost her baby) -- and Cuddy's a smart woman, recognizes that and decides to do this anyway.

Thanks!