a different kind of normal

[bironic]

"Introverts of the World, Unite!" -- an Atlantic Monthly interview with Jonathan Rauch, revisiting his infamous "Caring for your Introvert" article from 2003. It's from February but I only found out about it today (thanks, Steve!).

Comments

Re: The neurotic extrovert weighs in ...

[catilinarian.livejournal.com]

...rather than asking questions, which feels awkward to me, because, as an extrovert, I'm very sensitive to other people's moods and so am constantly worried about offending them and being loud and disruptive and monopolising the conversation - another byproduct of being an extrovert raised by introverts...

This is interesting, because - and I think you and I were talking about this some time ago - as an introvert, I really need people to ask me questions, particularly when I first meet them. I tend to prefer talking about the other person's life and ideas at first, and I feel as though I'm awkwardly forcing my opinions and experiences into the conversation if I start spouting off about myself without an invitation. As a result, people often don't know very much about me, beyond where I'm from and what I'm studying, in the first few conversations. That can be a problem, because it often means I haven't made an impression and they won't necessarily seek out my company later on.

I can't speak for all introverts, but I don't usually mind someone else monopolising the conversation. It gives me a break, and what they say provides guidelines for what I can contribute. I hate thinking up topics to discuss.

Do you think the flow of extrovert small talk that Rauch describes in the interview would come easily to you if you'd never been told that small talk was worse than being silent? Or would you still be depressed by conversations that weren't about big ideas?