Vividcon report, part one: broad picture

[bironic]

I had a very nice time at the final Vividcon. Talked with many people I don't tend to see the rest of the year—there was a sizeable Boston-area contingent that it would have been fun to spend more time with, but I figured that could happen elsewhen—and met some new ones; attended almost all the panels; successfully co-modded one of them; and watched a lot of vids. Premieres and Club Vivid alone added up to 7 hours.

Perspective

It seems my experience at Vividcon, both this year and overall—I just counted and I went 6 times in 9 years—fall into the middle of the road. At the closing panel, some attendees shared passionate stories about meeting life partners at the con, forging their strongest RL friendships, finding their people, being able to be out and open and themselves. Others who spoke outside the session, or were not there to speak, tried the con and found it unwelcoming or a poor fit or were driven away by the accessibility issues that came to a head in 2010. (That was the first year I attended, and I was not plugged in to anyone or anything enough to even be aware the debates were raging. I still don't fully understand what happened and don't know if that Fanlore link accurately conveys people's points of view. I do know that several friends got burned.)

I had some meaningful conversations at various VVCs that will stay with me for a long time, I saw some incredible vids in an irreproducible group environment, and I have made fan friends and acquaintances there that I have visited or can visit in different parts of the world, but I'm not sure I would say the con has changed my life. Nor has it left a bitter taste in my mouth. Perhaps that speaks to my naïveté.

I'm glad to have had the opportunities to go to panels that taught me how to think more deeply about and get better at vidding. I've given and received feedback on vids in a way that has strengthened my confidence and my sense of belonging to a community, alongside experiences at other cons and online through Festivids etc. I cherish that first year when I was able to meet a whole cluster of people I'd come to know and admire through Kink Bingo.

And I will always be grateful that the con allowed me to have one-on-one or small-group lunches with three of the four vidders whose work was the most inspirational and influential for me when I was starting out around 2009 and that I continue to love and study today: obsessive24, hollywoodgrrl and, as of this weekend, sol_se. newkidfan would round out the set.

Oddnesses

Well, there were a few odd moments.

At a group dinner one night, cesperanza mentioned in reference to, I believe, "The Greatest," although it could have been "Starships!"—I couldn't quite follow; the conversation kept rapidly shifting—that 'of course' the vid was going to be 'in every book ever' about, I don't know, vidding history? Or something? The subject matters less than how she said it as though it were obvious, when I hadn't known she'd even seen "The Greatest." It got me thinking about disconnects between what may appear to be community-wide conversations, and on- and offline conversations among influencers, and what any given individual fan, including a fanwork creator, is aware of. In this case: If you don’t share your response on Dreamwidth or AO3 or Twitter or Tumblr or by email or in person, I’m not going to know. If you don’t have a public conversation I can discover, I’m not going to know.

On a more jarring note, two separate panels showed clips from the same years-old vid that used footage from Nazi Germany and the Holocaust, without warning us. I wish I'd said something the first time, but I was too busy reconciling "sudden Holocaust" with "being at Vividcon." I heard there is some irony here in that the vid may have been involved in that 2010 debate about including warnings?

Lastly, this is not about the con or even about the person but I had a disorienting moment when someone made an offhand comment about my physical characteristics that marked the second time in the last year or so that a fan friend/acquaintance has implied that being Jewish makes me less white. (I am, boringly, really quite white.) I'm lucky things like this have happened rarely enough that I can still remember most of them, but that doesn't make it any more pleasant.

At the same time, I was invited to what has become an annual Shabbat dinner with friends on Friday night before Premieres, so, you know, things balance out.

Progress

Listing everyone I was glad to hang out with always feels like name-dropping, so how about we focus on the new people I met this year? Not only sol_se but also starlady, who made Galaxyrise, aurumcalendula, who's been churning out vids for various cons and 'fests since bursting onto the scene a couple of years ago, gwenfrankenstien, who made my Gods & Monsters Festivid this year, bethofalltrades, who's diving into a multi-Trek vidding project, and Kandy Fong, credited with starting this whole fanvidding thing with her Star Trek slide shows in the '70s.

I've been thinking about change over time. It took a while to work up the nerve to go to Vividcon, then to talk to strangers and to the people I was (am) a fan of, then to bring vids of my own. Now I do things like walk up to Kandy Fong in the con suite and strike up a half-hour conversation. A cohort of con staff and attendees knows who I am, and sometimes people even ask me questions about vids. This year I approached someone whose work is a level above mine and asked if she'd be willing to do developmental and editing beta work on a tricky project I'm kicking around. (She said yes!) I'd like to do more of that kind of thing going forward; learning not only from watching vids but also by reaching out to the vidders.


Part two: Panel notes and vid recs.

Comments

[starlady]

It was so great to meet you! I'm very glad that my own process of working up the nerve to go coincided with the final con.

And the random Holocaust footage was definitely a jarring moment. I'm surprised they showed it twice in the same weekend tbh.

[bironic]

It was a strange coincidence, for sure.

But good timing on the other thing, indeed! It was fun to meet you. It's too bad there's too much going on during these weekends to dig into conversations with everyone you want to.

[starlady]

Well, I'm on twitter, and I do still go to cons, so hopefully our paths will cross again soon! I'm planning on Worldcon in Ireland next year, but definitely hoping to attend FanworksCon after that.

[rhoboat]

Ack, apologies for not warning about that clip from the vid with Nazi Germany footage. I should be more sensitive about such issues. /o\

It was good seeing you at the con this year. I hope our paths cross again at some point in the future.

[bironic]

They'd better! I enjoy you.

(And thanks on the other thing.)

[stardreamer]

What you're describing in your last paragraph is the arc that runs from being a neofan to being a fan to being a BNF to (maybe, eventually, if it's what the person wants) being a SMOF. It's very similar to what I've experienced in science fiction fandom, and (WRT bringing and displaying your own work) in the filk community. I'm glad to see that the vidding community has that same kind of process, because IMO it's one of the most valuable things we bring to the table.

I'm sorry you ran into a couple of (what sounds like to me from the outside) racism or racism-adjacent issues.

I'm sure I've seen "The Greatest" but can't immediately call it to mind. But IMO "Starships" is definitely one of the great classic vids. It's one of my top 5 choices for inspired match of music to topic, and has terrific editing.

[bironic]

Oh, awesome. And, ha, that other vid is what I spent the last year and a half-ish working on: https://bironic.dreamwidth.org/370022.html

Thank you for introducing me to the acronym SMOF! Love it.

Yeah, the other thing is more conflating religion with race, which evokes some deeply uncomfortable histories. 'You look Jewish' raises one set of issues; 'Jewish means not really white' raises another.

[stardreamer]

Oh, that one! I just didn't remember the title, but yeah, it's a classic as well.

If you ever have questions about stuff relating to "traditional" SF fandom, feel free to ask me. I've been involved in it for almost 40 years.

[bironic]

Oh, cool, thank you.

[grammarwoman]

I hope you share what cons you're planning on attending in the future, because I definitely need more hang-out time with you. :D

[bironic]

Fanworks 2019! :D

Y/N?

[grammarwoman]

You're the first Yes I've heard - everyone else has been regrets or uncertain. So I will aim for a maybe to yes! :)

[bironic]

I'm coming at it from the perspective that if everyone waits a year or two to see how it goes before attending, then it'd be even harder for the con to rustle up enough attendance or varied programming to continue?

[grammarwoman]

That is a very valid point, yes.

[marginaliana]

Ducking in to say thanks for reminding me that Fanworks con is a thing! I'd really like to go since it looks like a good con for creating a new group community.

Also, so glad you had a good time!

[bironic]

Thanks! Maybe we can get a Boston group together; disgruntled_owl is interested as well. And maybe -- as opposed to VVC, when I consistently neglected to check with others about flight plans yet twice accidentally ended up on the same return flight as shati -- we could even coordinate transportation. :D

[minoanmiss]

A Boston Fanworks con contingent? *perks up*

[bironic]

Boston-area people who would like to go to Fanworks Con in Michigan next August!

[kass]

I hope our paths can cross in Massachusetts sometime. I realize I'm at the far end of the state, but perhaps we can entice you out here to the boonies sometime when it's especially pretty out here.

I wasn't at the group dinner you reference here, but I'm not surprised to hear that cesperanza thinks that some of your vids belong in the history books, as it were. Both "Starships" and "The Greatest" feel to me like a magical combination of celebrating something we love, and also being boundary-crossing in that they're (I think) intelligible and meaningful to people outside of our community too.

[bironic]

You guys are not that far, for sure - easily done in a weekend. We just need a plan. Or a plan to have a plan.

I guess I wouldn't be as surprised about Starships, but three seconds earlier we'd been talking about The Greatest and how she hadn't realized that all the sources were so recent. Probably I missed the conversational transition from one vid to the other.

Also: <3

[kouredios]

A plan to have a plan sounds like a good plan.

I was so glad to have some good meaty time to chat, and it was lovely to see you. I understand your ambivalent feelings about vividcon. I've only been coming for 4 out of the past 5 years I think, so it's not the loss to me it is to some people, and I get to see some of my faves from there regularly anyway. But I did love that special capsule of a weekend to just live vids together, and I will miss that.

[bironic]

Yeah. I had a great experience overall, but... not AS great and meaningful as a lot of people who spoke at that closing panel!

Likewise on the pleasure of our leisurely lunch. In addition to other things, you prepped me for conversations throughout the weekend about young vidders' activity on Instagram! :)

[minoanmiss]

I think your lack of bitterness may have more to do with your intrinsic sweetness than any naivete. :)

Ah, conventions. That good but mixed adventure.

[laurashapiro]

I was so glad to have time with you -- thank you for making that happen!

It's good to read your thoughts here, you always make me think too. Your description of not knowing where the conversations were happening, and what that implies, is I think a really important point. Some of us old school fans find it easy to slip back into the patterns we had when everyone we knew was in the same place, watching the same shows, going to the same cons, etc. It hasn't been like that for a long time, and I have to remind myself that there is no "of course" anymore when it comes to fan culture, because there isn't one fan culture. And there never has been.

[gwyn]

First, I have to say "what the fuck" on the comments about your appearance. Just...criminy, what the hell.

I wish I'd been able to attend your panel, but I was busy dealing with my stupid fall injuries.

Your comment about not knowing about conversations on your vids resonated with me. It's impossible to know what people think of things if they don't say something where you're at--that's the nice thing about cons, of course, you can get responses in real time, but it's still not everything. Back in the day, you sort of at least had an idea about things, because people had to get your tape collections from you, or drop you a line asking about how to get your vids. And cons were more important venues. But you still can't know if people don't say anything in a way you can hear it.

[seekingferret]

At the same time, I was invited to what has become an annual Shabbat dinner with friends on Friday night before Premieres, so, you know, things balance out.

I'm glad it could offer that balance for you. I wish it didn't have to, but I've had too many Being Jewish at Cons experiences to be optimistic about that.


I'm not sure I would say the con has changed my life.

Yeah... I'm in about the same state. I'm very glad I got to go the last three years, and I've had tremendous fun and learned a lot every time I went to VVC, but... that's it.

Anyway, it was great to see you!

[chagrined]

I enjoyed this writeup! I had a good time the two times I was able to attend vvc. I'd really like to go to that fanworks con (since it's so rare cons are somewhere I'm physically able to get to nowadays) but it'll definitely also depend on how many people I know are going... I historically only have a good time at cons if I've got at least 1-2 friends I can stick with basically the whole time, heh. Also I guess I'm like, NOT REALLY INTO FANWORKS VERY MUCH AS OF LATE? XD XD Still the occasional one I guess but it's mainly playing video games for me heh. So idk how much the panels/etc will be of interest to me, which makes it even more about the people!

[aurumcalendula]

It was wonderful to meet you!

[franzeska]

Aww, dude, I didn't realize I made you so uncomfortable! I'm sorry about that! (FWIW, I was commenting on my own resemblance to our homegrown terrorists, not whiteness.)

It was great seeing you at the con.

[toft]

Coming to this late, but I wanted to say, this sounds like a complicated experience all round! I'm sorry someone made you feel uncomfortable by commenting on your ethnicity as they perceived it.

It sounds like you've really forged your own community around Vividcon and grown as an artist through it, which is so great.