Ficlets, batch the first

[bironic]

Remember way back when I asked for sets of six words as prompts? Well, some of them are being used for a Super Secret Surprise that is taking longer than expected to get done. The leftover prompts are going into ficlets (because prompts are a terrible thing to waste). I was hoping to post everything all at once but impatience has won out, so here for your enjoyment is the first set of ficlets, written about a month ago. Three House and one Star Trek. Everything else to follow soon.

ETA: Aack, forgot to acknowledge synn for helping with earlier drafts. So sorry.
ETA 2: The surprise is revealed!


Characters: Cuddy, Wilson
Rating: PG
Word Count: 150
Prompts: broken, leap, nails, red, please, write/written (for fallen_arazil)
Spoilers: "Meaning" and "Cane and Able"


"I think we've broken him." Her nails tapped against her desk.

Wilson sighed. "You know House wasn't exactly one to leap for joy before the leg."

"He got pretty damn close to it when he came back to work last week." She stilled her hand. "I don't like this. He's not himself. And he's going to find out about that guy eventually."

"And if 'eventually' turns out to be a week, or two weeks, we have that much more time to get to him. Cuddy, he had one cramp and wanted me to write him a prescription for Vicodin."

She looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes. "I just…" And her gaze was gone again. "I don't know what's right."

"Let's just give it a little more time. Please."

She nodded.

He smiled a little even though she wasn't watching. "We'll try our best. What's the worst that could happen?"


* * *

Characters: House, Wilson
Rating: PG
Word Count: 205
Prompts: rain, wish, bus, help, watch, hedgehog (for maddy_harrigan)


House was heating up dinner when Wilson came in from the rain. He could hear the squeak of wet shoes on wood over the hum of the microwave.

"A little help here?" Wilson called.

House peered out to find him dripping wet from head to toe, the bottoms of his soaked pant legs speckled with dirt. His lips twitched. "Lose a fight with your umbrella?"

"The 605 bus drove through a puddle next to me."

House tossed him a dish towel and leaned against the door jamb to watch as Wilson rubbed at his hair. It stuck up in damp tufts when he was finished. "You look like a hedgehog," House said affectionately.

Wilson knelt to untie his shoelaces. "Gonna take a shower and change. I'm freezing."

"Will you need help with that too?"

Wilson smirked and chucked the towel back at him. "You wish." He peeled off his socks with a grimace.

Winding and unwinding the towel in his hands, House watched his friend grab some dry clothes from his suitcase and pad out of the room. His smile faded. He touched the rough, damp cloth to his nose and lips and breathed in. After the bathroom door closed, he murmured, "I do wish."


* * *

Characters: Garak, Bashir
Rating: PG
Word Count: 350
Prompts: covert, stairs, mutiny, watch, red, stolen (for catilinarian)
A/N: Almost everything I know about the Bounty came from this Wikipedia article. Sto-Vo-Kor is the Klingon afterlife for the honorable dead.


"Tell me again what we're doing, Doctor," said Garak as they started up the stairs to the holosuites.

"We are about to reenact one of the classic tales of betrayal and retribution at sea," Bashir replied. "I'll be the ship's commanding lieutenant, the courageous young William Bligh."

"And I am—?"

"Fletcher Christian, the master's mate and eventual leader of the mutiny."

"Ah yes, the hero of the story. That is," he acknowledged with a dip of his head (a move made comical by the Royal Navy hat he wore), "he would be if this were a Cardassian legend."

Bashir raised his voice over the noise on the upper level. "It's a tricky role. You'll need your talent for covert operations to convince enough crewmen to follow you and still catch me unawares."

"And when I succeed in overthrowing you, I'm rewarded with the opportunity to drift from port to port with the stolen ship until I'm murdered by a bloodthirsty island-dweller. Not a very noble end."

"That's why after the mutiny you'll switch roles to become one of my eighteen loyal officers as we navigate our way back to England on an open boat using only a sextant and a pocket watch." They reached the door.

"Is there a mutiny on the boat?"

"No, that part is about the challenge of traveling thousands of miles under extreme hardship."

"Is there cannibalism?"

Bashir paused in the middle of programming the keypad. "Pardon?"

"My dear naïve friend, it's quite understandable for two dozen starving men to turn on a member of the group for sustenance. In fact, in some cultures it's considered an honorable sacrifice." He sang in a rich baritone: "Thus our comrade speeds to Sto-Vo-Kor / While the blood runs red down our chins—"

"Garak, that's Klingon opera, not Mutiny on the Bounty!"

Garak's eyes sparkled. "You must know that choosing me as your companion on this adventure invites a multicultural reinterpretation of history."

Bashir laughed despite himself. "Come on, we start out in Tahiti: sun, sand and beautiful women."

The doors swept open and they stepped inside.


* * *

I started out trying to incorporate all six prompts into the shortest stories possible. This one, however, took on a life of its own.

Characters: The whole House crew
Rating: PG-13 for smooching
Word Count: 720
Prompts: fleece, nightmare, tinsel, eventually, waiting, innocuous (for thewlisian_afer)
A/N: A little bit of crack won't cause permanent brain damage, right? Except now I kind of want to do a Seuss-style House holiday parody. "You're a mean one, Dr. House...dum dum dum..." ETA: mer_duff, I swear I didn't steal that from you. Great minds, etc.


Cuddy strode out of the elevator and around the corner on her way to Nursing Administration only to be confronted with the worrisome sight of a crowd gathered outside the Diagnostics office. "What's going on here?" she called.

One of the Oncology nurses answered first. "We're waiting for the trumpets and thunder to officially announce the Apocalypse."

Stone from Radiology chimed in, "I knew he'd go crazy eventually, but I figured it would involve guns, not garlands."

Most of the staff hadn't looked away from the glass wall. Increasingly apprehensive, Cuddy took a look for herself.

A Yuletide tableau greeted her. Paper snowflakes dangled from the ceiling, strings of colored lights blinked merrily along the tops of the blinds, and a snowmen-patterned fleece throw covered the conference table. Two of the three fellows sitting around it wore matching green elf caps (Foreman's lay rejected in front of him). Against the shelves in the corner next to the whiteboard—which bore a wreath as well as a red "Happy," a green "Holidays" and a red exclamation mark—leaned a bona fide Christmas tree, its base wrapped in burlap. Gifts littered the floor around it. Sporting a floppy Santa hat, House was stringing silver tinsel on the tree and…singing?

To Cuddy's surprise, the question that came out of her mouth was, "How did he get that up here?"

"Dr. Chase and Dr. Foreman carried it," said a woman next to her.

She noticed, now, the trail of soil and pine needles leading across the carpet in the office, under the door and into the hall. The path ended where the fourth-floor janitor stood staring with the rest of them, the mop still in his hand.

"Right," she said, and pulled open the door to the sound of some hideous customized version of "The Twelve Days of Christmas." "Dr. House," she said, loud enough that he stopped caterwauling and turned around. "I don't know what inspired this Grinch-saves-Christmas epiphany, but—"

Before she thought to move out of the way, House had crossed the room, pulled her to him with an arm around her back, and kissed her.

When he let her go, she stood with her fingers to her lips, eyes not quite focused.

He gave her a terrifying grin. "Welcome to Whoville."

She stared, mouth working silently.

"Look up," said Chase.

She did, and saw—too late—the sprig of mistletoe.

"House—You can't—This is completely—"

"Don't worry," he said. "I'm pretty sure it's not sexual harrassment if I do it to everyone who comes in."

Still at a loss for words, she glanced over to the table, where Cameron wore a slight, dreamy smile, Foreman glowered, and Chase sipped his coffee.

The door opened and Wilson walked past her wearing a headband with fuzzy antlers.

"You wore it!" House exclaimed.

"Yes, your threats left me little choice," Wilson replied as he placed a menorah on the table. He reached into his lab coat pocket and tossed a box of Chanukah candles beside it. No sooner had he done that than House turned him around, pinned his lower body against the chair beside Cameron, tilted Wilson's head up and covered his mouth with his own. Wilson's hands went to House's waist. Cuddy thought she saw a flicker of tongue.

"His is definitely longer than mine was," Chase said after a few moments.

Foreman muttered, "God, this is a nightmare."

When they broke apart, Wilson brushed the side of his mouth with the back of his hand and walked over to the coffee maker as if nothing had happened. "You already planted one on me this morning when you hung up the mistletoe," he said, taking a mug from the cabinet.

"But the Rudolph chic is irresistible. And I have to make sure I compensate for your dejection in the season of Jesus-love."

"Oh, well, I appreciate your thoughtfulness."

"Dr. House," Cuddy finally managed. The pair of them looked at her with identical innocuous expressions, evil Santa and his faithful reindeer. She gave up before she even started. "Just…don't kiss any patients."

She stepped back into the hall, where the crowd had grown. Several people stared at her. "Don't you people have work to do?" she asked. Straightening her blazer and smoothing her hair, she headed once more for the admin offices.

Comments

[perspi.livejournal.com]

Oh, My God. *dies*

Ok, I'm back. The Cuddy/Wilson ficlet HURT, in a good way. And then the House/Wilson ficlet hurt, too, but in an even better way.

And then "Welcome to Whoville." GAH! I cannot tell you how much I love this. House maniacally happy-Christmasing? With a terrifying grin? Decorating his office with the worst kitsch possible? You know he did it just for an excuse to kiss EVERYONE. And how like House to not just give pecks on the cheek. LOVE IT. You must post this elsewhere. I don't know if I could handle it if you waited until Christmastime.

[perspi.livejournal.com]

Also? Evil Santa! Faithful reindeer! AH-hahahahaha!!!!

You win. Absolutely. I will be chuckling all day. Thanks.

[thewlisian-afer.livejournal.com]

bahahaha I love what you did with that set from me. XDDDD

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Hooray!

My brain loves your prompts. I'm using another six of them for one of the Super Secret Surprises.

[fallen-arazil.livejournal.com]

you know, in retrospect, I probably shoudl have been more evil with my prompt. I could have used the word 'photophosphorilation'. Still, it's a solid little drabble.

But the xmas one ... O_o *rubs eyes* o_O

I'm not sure why House is being Xmasy, but Cameron's dreamy smile really amused me. That and Chase's easy acceptance. Plus, Wilson bringing in the menorah as a pro forma attempt at some non-xtian influence. Ah, House, your crazyness never gets old.

~Djinn

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Your prompt set was hard because I had to fight images from your Wilson/women-with-different-nails fic. Thank you for NOT using photophosphorylation. People were evil enough as it was! I wanted nice easy words for this project and ended up with stuff like "argent" and "mutiny." *pouts* Hence ficlets.

Glad you liked the bit about the menorah. I was going to have House put some dreidel ornaments on the tree, but the sentence got too long. :)

I'm not sure why House is being Xmasy

*grin* perspi's theory above is a good one.

[stephantom.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, the House/Christmas was amazing.

"Don't worry," he said. "I'm pretty sure it's not sexual harrassment if I do it to everyone who comes in."

Still at a loss for words, she glanced over to the table, where Cameron wore a slight, dreamy smile, Foreman glowered, and Chase sipped his coffee.

lol That part is perfect. :)

And the others were also excellent, and enjoyable as well, but in a painful sort of way. But good. Heh.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Heh. I had a feeling the Christmas one would steal the show, which is why it's last. That part with the three Fellows sitting at the table is one of my favorites too. Glad you enjoyed even the painful ones.

[bell]

A little bit of crack won't cause permanent brain damage, right?

On the contrary, I believe a little bit is necessary every day! You're right, the Christmas one does end up stealing the show, if for House doing something so unlikely as bring in the Xmas cheer to the hospital... and being so utterly like himself.

I love how blase Wilson is about being dragged into all this as well as the duckling's reactions to: a) being kissed; b) House kiss Wilson. >D

I liked the one from maddy_harrigan's as well. ("Lose a fight with your umbrella?" Hee~.)

[bironic.livejournal.com]

House doing something so unlikely as bring in the Xmas cheer to the hospital... and being so utterly like himself.

What a nice way to put it. Indeed, it was a little too much fun to have everyone behaving in character within such a ridiculous set-up. Therein lies the fun of crack!fic, I am learning.

Thanks for the comment about the House/Wilson rain story. That was the first one I wrote -- "hedgehog" was unusable for my ulterior motive, so that set was the first to go into a ficlet. Poor dripping Wilson and pining House.

[pwcorgigirl.livejournal.com]

Oh, mercy, but the first two have the best hurts-so-good ending lines I've seen in a long time. The potential for harm in Wilson's optimism in the first one is chilling, and I love House's hedgehog remark in the second. The sweetness of that makes the longing at the end all the more poignant.

"Welcome to Whoville" had me walking around smiling most of the day. The image of Wilson in reindeer antlers is just too cute, everyone's reaction to the mistletoe smooch is just perfect, and I am insanely tickled by the idea of Foreman's refusal to wear his elf hat!

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Hello there! What a nice surprise. And what a lovely comment. That line was meant to be a little foreboding, and the second ficlet grew around the image of Wilson's hedgehog hair (with a prompt like that, I thought it would be best to take care of it before the others), so it's great to hear that both made an impression.

And "Whoville" was just too much fun to write. I wish I could draw, because I would also love to actually see Wilson in that headband. He'd be all brown -- eyes, hair, antlers. Hee. But anyway, glad to have put a smile on your face.

[mer-duff.livejournal.com]

Oh my! Loved all four (especially House's longing in the second ficlet - the image of House breathing in the dish towel made me smile in a sad way), but you're right, the Xmas story is a scene-stealer. I definitely think you should do a full-out parody of the Grinch - House and the Grinch just go hand in hand. And synchronicity is a beautiful thing.

I agree with House - Rudolph chic is irresistible. Someone needs to make an icon of Wilson with antlers (I'm sure he much prefers those horns)...

Now you've inspired me! If I can get my Christmas pageant partner in crime on board (he abandoned me in the summer for a better job), I think I have to do a Workhouse version of the Grinch.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Sounds like fun! There's a Broadway musical version opening this season as well, I think.

I've definitely got the parody on my list of plot bunnies. The trickiest part would be in figuring out the main conceit -- what will be Whoville and what House will be trying to stop. I think "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch" would also make a fabulous fanvid. For my favorite line at the end, where the Grinch is compared to a sandwich topped with arsenic sauce, I'm imagining the clip where House sprinkles cruched Vicodin on his Reuben. (I thought of that yesterday; thanks for providing an opportunity to get it out there. :) ) Think I'll stick with the poetry, though.

the image of House breathing in the dish towel made me smile in a sad way. Oh, lovely. That was a late addition and I'm glad you singled it out. Something about terry cloth on lips... very sensual.

Someone needs to make an icon of Wilson with antlers. Oh, yes. Maybe when this gets x-posted, an artist will be inspired.

[daasgrrl.livejournal.com]

Bwa. Hahaha. Oh, the Grinch one was classic. I loved it. It's insane, but in a very good way. I just thought it was a nice take on the fact that House gets paired with just about everyone, so why not make the most of it. It would make a great expanded fic for the holidays (hint?).

I also loved the "Wet" one - a dripping Wilson is always lovely and the last line is a killer.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

*cue Deep Announcer Voice* "In tonight's fic, House pairs himself with everyone." Heh.

Glad you liked wet!Wilson and that the last line got you. That was the first ficlet I wrote and I still kind of like it best.

[catilinarian.livejournal.com]

Okay, I LOVE what you did with my prompts. I adore the way Garak always knows how to get under Bashir's skin, and the image of him launching into Klingon opera is fantastic. And you managed to satisfy my incredible kink for eighteenth-century naval uniforms at the same time. *sighs wistfully*

And as for Whoville - I have no words. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. I always enjoy your characterisation of Wilson, and his placid acceptance of House's mania here was wonderful. And I love Chase's petty competitiveness, and the line, "But the Rudolph chic is irresistible," and... yeah, I was lying when I said I had no words. I have a lot of them. They're just slightly hysterical. This was a sheer joy to read.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Hee. You have a charmingly verbose speechlessness.

I left it deliberately ambiguous as to whether Chase is jealous or just observing when he remarks on the length of the kiss House gives Wilson. I can see him going either way.

And hooray that you liked your ficlet! You're one of a very few people who hang around here who'd appreciate a DS9 story and of course for you it had to be those two. And c'mon, with a prompt like "mutiny" you were just begging me to exploit your British military uniform fetish.

[silsbee329.livejournal.com]

"His is definitely longer than mine was," Chase said after a few moments.
Foreman muttered, "God, this is a nightmare."

Seriously? You are funny, and this was hilarious.

Loved the second one very much as well - I literally clapped at the end of of it. That smirky "You wish" just killed me...

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Seriously? [...] this was hilarious.

It is serious? Is it hilarious? Perhaps it is both! :D

The second one was interesting to write because in my happy-slash imagination Wilson's the one doing the pining while House tosses out flirtatious taunts. So, double hooray for making you clap.

[rosewillread.livejournal.com]

Oh, the Cuddy-Wilson. :-(
Tempting fate. Bad Wilson.

And the longing in House. In an otherwise amusing scene. Wonderful.

And Christmas was a complete hoot.
Excellent scowling Foreman with his rejected hat. And Chase just sipping his coffee.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Shame on me for not replying to this sooner. Thanks for the feedback. I'm always pleased to hear which parts you liked best.

[subaruke.livejournal.com]

Damn, now the Christmas episode better have mistletoe or I'll be sorely dissapointed XDDD...

[panda-chibi.livejournal.com]

[quote]Damn, now the Christmas episode better have mistletoe or I'll be sorely dissapointed XDDD...[/quote]

!!! That is actually the best way to make every ship happy! Have House kiss everyone under the mistletoe... God, if that happens, I'll die of.... head explody!

[gonattsaga.livejournal.com]

AH, that was hilarious! (That last one. The kiss-one!) EEK! *jumping up and down* and now I'm suddenly struck with a gay and joyous christmas spirit despite the inescapable fact that it's still merely november.... O.O

[pinglederry.livejournal.com]

Dude... complete icon!love. Dance, Hugh, dance! *snigger*

[panda-chibi.livejournal.com]

You're just brilliant! The first one was sad in a good way.

And the Whoville! Oh that's just so perfect!!!

And the second one... well that's the closest to my heart. I cry in H/W unrequited love fics... I mean, I always have, because unrequited love/crush is just so sad.... But unrequited love of your best friend is not only heart-breaking, but very near to my heart....

So now I'm gonna go read that again, cry some more, and read Whoville to cheer me up! ^^ Love you.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Wow, I didn't mean to send you careening on such an emotional roller coaster there! I'm glad you like them, though, even if in a painful way. I'm rather fond of the second one myself; it was the first one I wrote in this bunch. Poor House, huh? But it's possible that Wilson's just oblivious and with a little time and a little more hinting he'll come around.

Thanks for commenting!

[extrabitter.livejournal.com]

I have to make sure I compensate for your dejection in the season of Jesus-love

What a perfect House line, and I love Wilson's nonplussed reaction to the whole thing.

I also like the first two, shorter pieces: both are nice, concrete scenes. I don't often find short pieces that stand well on their own, and when I do, they make me very happy.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

A happy extrabitter doth a happy author make. Thanks for the feedback, especially on the first two, since the last tends to steal attention away from them.

[almostjulie.livejournal.com]

Gah. The first one broke my heart (yeah, okay, in a good way), but then the last one made it all better.

Cameron wore a slight, dreamy smile, Foreman glowered, and Chase sipped his coffee. Hee! Perfect reactions all around.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Heh. I hadn't thought of the fic order as breaking you down and building you back up. Glad to have made you sad (if you know what I mean) and then fixed it too.

[sandssavvy.livejournal.com]

House was just in it for the snogging. lol
I really liked reading these.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

He totally was. Thanks for commenting!

[bwc-baby.livejournal.com]

I loved the Christmas one! omg I was so funny..Wilson is a cute reindeer!
I could hear House singing the Crpyt Keeper's Christmas album! haha *falls over*

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Wilson *so* needs to wear a fuzzy antler headband on the show in December. Heh. Thanks for commenting!

[ukrazy.livejournal.com]

Oh, you get my undying love for the last ficlet. You totally launched me into giddy-clapping-fangirl mode.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

*bows* My work here is done.

:) Thanks for commenting - glad you enjoyed!

[saara-zaara.livejournal.com]

Hi, this got re-reced on TWoP & it reminded me that I never got around to commenting when you first posted these - I do so love Whoville, particularly the kids, Chase's pragmatism against Foreman's indignation & Cam's dreaminess! So. so right!

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Oh no, you have discovered my cunning plan to get multiple recs on TWoP by posting links to my fic several weeks apart. :) Thanks for coming back to comment! It was a little too much fun to imagine House smooching his Fellows and how each of them would react.

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

I don't know how I missed these but... each was lovely! The last one especially--that was wicked. I can see House doing this just to screw with everyone's minds. :-D

[bironic.livejournal.com]

And get a few consequence-free smooches in the process. :) Glad you didn't miss them the second time 'round and that you enjoyed! Thanks as always for commenting.

[squigglespoof.livejournal.com]

Wow I especially loved the last one it made me all warm and fuzzy inside now I'm all excited about Christmas time!!!!

[bironic.livejournal.com]

(And Hanukkah!) Glad to have made you warm and fuzzy like Wilson's headband.

[buffseeds.livejournal.com]

I really loved all of these, especially the Christmas one.

My limited Photoshop skills thank you with:
(http://photobucket.com/)

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Ha! Thanks, I was hoping someone would do a graphic.

[calidragon.livejournal.com]

Woo! Great stuff.
I love that in the Christmas one you imply this isn't the first time House and Wilson have kissed by 1)Cuddy's possible tongue sighting, 2)Wilson's nonchalance at the whole thing, and 3)the length of the kiss.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Heh heh heh. These are the wily ways of the House/Wilson supporter writing (ostensibly) gen.

[axmxz.livejournal.com]

How adorable... now House can kiss Jimmy with impunity. Thank you, mistletoe! ((Ten bucks says they do something similar for Christmas this year.))

[bironic.livejournal.com]

I think I will take you up on that bet -- if I win, I get a virtual $10, and if I lose, we get to see them kiss!