Grammar question for fic

[bironic]

Hiya! Long time no post ('cept for this morning). Have been working, reading, haunting everyone else's LJs and doing beta-work like a fiend, which is always fun, and went to Boston for a few days, where I was introduced to the wonder that is Robot Chicken, went for a gorgeous walk around Walden Pond, and watched a walking-stick-wielding, "obnoxious and disliked" John Adams complain about a man named James Wilson (in the musical 1776). And now I'm writing again—have four projects going, hooray!

In that vein, a question for the grammarians out there about subordinating conjunctions and modal verbs. Suppose a story is being told entirely as… potential, with "he would" this and "she would" that. If a sentence goes, "He would do something before/after/until someone else did something," what's the proper verb construction for the second half of the sentence? Did? Would do? Were to do? For example:

He'd take her up to his office, get her comfortable on the couch, hand her a tissue. He'd sit next to her and rub her shoulder until she calmed down a little.

"Calmed." Past tense sounded right here.


She would moan and arch into him, then bring her arms around his back when he nudged her knees apart with one of his own.

"He nudged" or "he would nudge"? Not as clear to me as in the last example.


Her breathing would hitch before she'd whisper, "I'm not—I've never—"

See, now here I thought the second "would" would fit best. (This sentence is going to change anyway, because I'm taking out all the dialogue.)

Gah. There's got to be a rule for this. And I hope it's to use past tense, because all those "would"s are going to get annoying if they have to be used in every instance. Does it depend on whether the preceding conjunction is "before," "after," "when" or "until"? Sigh. I don't think I ever had a lesson on modal verbs in English class.

Comments

[secondsilk.livejournal.com]

The first and second sentences are both right with the past tense, clamed and nudged.

The third one. I think you can chose between:
Her breathing would hitch before she'd whisper and
Her breathing would hitch before she whispered

In the second example it is more certain that she will whisper whatever it is. I think it works better with 'before' because the conditional from the first clause. Unlike using 'and' where it has to be Her breathing would hitch and she'd whisper. I would use the past tense with all of 'after' 'when' and 'until'.

Um, it's all very confusing. I've never had a lesson on English modals.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

I would use the past tense with all of 'after' 'when' and 'until'.

That is where I am leaning. I wasn't paying as close attention to tenses while writing as I am now, so that third example with "would" will probably change.

Thanks for having a go at figuring this out!

[secondsilk.livejournal.com]

My mother's a linguist, so we have occasional dinner table conversations about language use.
I just love picking apart the meaning of sentences.