bironic: Neil Perry gazing out a window at night (Default)
[personal profile] bironic
Happy Hanukkah! Have some fic.


Title: Spin
Pairing: None. Wilson and House friendship, or lack thereof.
Rating: PG-13 for language
Word Count: 700 (four drabbles and a triple drabble)
Summary: In which Wilson's life mimics a spinning dreidel, and House begins to pull out of his own self-destructive spiral.
Spoilers: For the Tritter arc through "Merry Little Christmas," plus some spoiler-free speculation.
Disclaimer: Just borrowing them for the holidays.
Beta: None. Concrit welcome.
A/N: A dreidel is a small, four-sided top that children play with during Hanukkah. Depending on which letter you spin, you either take some of the candies or coins from the pile in the middle or put some in from your own pile. A short and easy-to-read description of the dreidel's appearance and significance and the rules of the game can be found here.



Shin – Put In

Wilson gives and gives, feeding House a steady stream of Vicodin and cash and food and favors and second (third, fourth, fifth...) chances while the man absorbs it all and expects more, like a black hole sucking energy from a sun. Now he has no family, no home, no money, no car, no DEA license, no practice, and only a shadow of a best friend while he watches everything trail away into the void. Soon he won't have anything left to offer. Then, when he's been reduced to a helpless, hollow husk, he'll watch House seethe and collapse into oblivion.


Gimmel – Take Everything

One meeting with Tritter—one breach of loyalty for the sake of saving his friend, though it may cost him that friendship—and he can access his accounts, drive his car, treat his patients, pay for his hotel room. Though it's an undeniable relief to regain his life, as Cameron was so eager to point out, the most important thing is that House will at last be coerced into accepting the help Wilson has been trying to get him for years.

He has won everything back and then some. So why does it feel as though he's lost the game?


Hey – Take Half

When he tells Tritter he's reneging on the deal, Wilson welcomes the return of his pride and integrity. It's only a matter of time until House and Cuddy and Cameron speak to him again. He firmly believed he was acting in House's best interests before, but he sees now that this is the right thing to do, small comfort though it'll be when he takes the fall to keep his miserable, brilliant, fragile friend in medicine where he belongs.

Then Tritter tells him they'll both go to prison, and it turns out to be a smaller victory than he thought.


Nun – Do Nothing

He's sure even as he stumbles over the couch in his haste to get to his fallen friend that the goddamn stubborn idiot finally managed to do what the infarction, Vicodin, motorcycle and gunman hadn't. The surge of panic shatters into relief, horror and fury when he finds House conscious. He conjures some semblance of clinical detachment and gives him a perfunctory once-over.

He'll live. Not for long if he keeps this shit up, but for tonight he'll be fine.

That settled, Wilson gathers the courage to do what's best for House but hardest on them both.

He walks out.


Nes Gadol Haya Sham

Wilson sits at his desk, playing with one of the plastic dreidels he ordered for the pediatric ward at the beginning of the month. This one is a deep, bright blue. He turns it over and over in his hand, rubbing his thumb across the raised letters, and then gives it a spin. It forges a confident trail across the blotter before it catches on the stack of patient files and thumps to a stop.

He recognizes the elegant W-shaped letter shin but can't remember what it means in the game. He doesn't remember the Hebrew sentence the letters stand for, either; the soft words his grandfather taught him and his brothers when they were kids have long since faded from memory. He does, however, recall the translation: "A great miracle happened there." A reference to the Hanukkah oil that lasted eight days when it should have burned out after only one. A celebration of perseverance despite certain disaster.

Movement in the hall catches his eye. House is standing there, waving a folder as he berates Chase and Foreman. He's been looking and behaving better since he announced his intention to check into rehab—less desperate, more determined, though still in pain—and from what Cuddy tells him, he's been accepting her carefully rationed pills without complaint.

After more than twenty years dealing with a broken family, failed marriages and terrible disease, Wilson hesitates to believe in miracles. Yet he can't help but hope that this time House will control his pain. That they will deal with Tritter somehow, and everything will go back to normal, only better.

He realizes that House is staring at him. Wilson meets his gaze. After a moment, House nods a greeting. Wilson nods back.

It may not be a miracle, but it's a start.




* * *

Feedback of all sorts will be loved, as always. PLEASE NOTE: I don't know anything about what's coming up on the show and I don't want to, so please, no spoilers. Thank you!

x-posted to [livejournal.com profile] housefic and [livejournal.com profile] house_wilson.
Page 1 of 2 << [1] [2] >>

Date: Dec. 19th, 2006 10:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silsbee329.livejournal.com
It's amazing how well this all fits, in the way that it mirrors Wilson's life. The fourth one kills me (the pain is still fresh!).

Lovely job. Happy Hanukkah to you! :)

Date: Dec. 19th, 2006 10:59 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Thanks!

That scene in House's apartment still makes my heart ache too. I'm glad you agree that the dreidel metaphor works -- as soon as I thought of it, it demanded to be given a chance. "Put In," "Everything" and "Nothing" fell into place right away; "Half" took more time.

Date: Dec. 19th, 2006 10:44 pm (UTC)
ext_25882: (Book with Glasses)
From: [identity profile] nightdog-barks.livejournal.com
Really, really nice.

Question -- would Wilson be rescinding or reneging on the deal? I thought it would be the latter. Maybe it's just the sentence structure -- if you take out the "on" then rescinding works.

Absolutely love the comparison of House to a black hole, destroying everything that wanders into his gravitational pull.

The image of the spinning dreidel as a symbol of their lives is inspired. I like this little story a lot.

Date: Dec. 19th, 2006 10:52 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
You're right, "reneging" works better. Changed. Thanks!

I'm glad you like the metaphors in this. You probably gathered from conversations elsewhere that I was working for a while to come up with a structure for a Hanukkah fic. As soon as I hit on the dreidel idea, I knew I had to give it a try. I've also been dying to do an astronomy one and was sort of surprised when the black hole comparison finally fit in here, when the central metaphor was already in place.

Date: Dec. 19th, 2006 11:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] versace02.livejournal.com
This is brilliant. I love your imagery, and the way that you don't smooth over the problems in House and Wilson's friendship. I love how you show Wilson to be an optimist, and the fact that his optimism may not be misplaced. Gorgeous.

~V

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 02:03 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Thanks so much. Wilson's cautious optimism here reflects my own for the arc -- things don't look pretty now, but I have faith that they'll find a way out of it, and that some good will come of the whole mess.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] versace02.livejournal.com - Date: Dec. 21st, 2006 01:29 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: Dec. 19th, 2006 11:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] roga.livejournal.com
He'll live. Not for long if he keeps this shit up, but for tonight he'll be fine.

That settled, Wilson gathers the courage to do what's best for House but hardest on them both.


I love these two lines - Wilson's realistic, almost clinical observation about where House is heading, followed by the emotional act of gathering his courage, which is probably exactly what he felt at the time. I also love the fact that Wilson ordered dreidles for the pediatrics ward (not even the oncology ward! *sigh* He's so sweet.), and that in the very end he gets info on House from Cuddy, because they're still not on good terms.

Also, slightly amused by all the letters besides Gimmel sounding like words in English :-) Lovely fic, and may the Tritter arc be resolved as closely to this as possible... Happy holiday!

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 02:12 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Thanks! Strangely, I hadn't thought of how the transliteration of letters other than "Hey" look like English words. Maybe because the "u" in "Nun" is more like the one in "push" than the one in the English "nun."

I also love the fact that Wilson ordered dreidles for the pediatrics ward

Heh, at first I did put "pediatric oncology ward," but Wilson might think of it as just "pediatrics." But this way, as you've said, it's open to interpretation whether he got the toys for "his" kids or for all of the hospital's little guys.

and that in the very end he gets info on House from Cuddy, because they're still not on good terms.

I'm glad you picked up on that. It was impossible to say everything I wanted about their slow reconciliation in just 300 words in that last section, and I was hoping that line would imply some of what couldn't fit.

Thanks for reading and for the nice comment!

Date: Dec. 19th, 2006 11:46 pm (UTC)
dulcinea: Melchior and Moritz discussing the sex essay in Spring Awakening. (everlyn - Wilson is fluffeh)
From: [personal profile] dulcinea
Beautiful. What a creative way to tell a story. I think the first one is my favorite. You present Wilson wonderfully :D

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 02:15 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Thanks! I had a lot of fun with the structure of this one, and the first drabble is one of my favorites too.

Date: Dec. 19th, 2006 11:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] perspi.livejournal.com
Oh, I adore this. The metaphor really works well, and I adore the first one, the hollowed-out feeling of Wilson after trying to give House everything. And the end, with its feeling of hope and feeling? *wibbles*

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 02:24 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Hooray! The first one may be my favorite too. Metaphors within metaphors, heh. I've always wanted to do an astronomy simile with the two of them, and I thought this one fit perfectly. Poor burnt-out Wilson.

P.S. "its feeling of hope and feeling" -- was there meant to be a second emotion at the end there? Am curious what it might be!

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] perspi.livejournal.com - Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 03:07 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: Dec. 19th, 2006 11:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladysarahii.livejournal.com
That was a really neat idea. As soon as you wrote 'Take Everything' I knew where you were going with this. (I feel so clever.) ;) But this was really nice. I liked how well it fit with what's been going on lately. Good job.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 02:26 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Have a gold star for perceptiveness. I'm glad you agree that, unlikely as it may seem at first, the four actions of the dreidel game match what Wilson has been going through lately. As soon as the idea occurred to me, three out of four sprang right into place, including "Take Everything." Thanks for the comment!

Date: Dec. 19th, 2006 11:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hi-falootin.livejournal.com
Beautiful--the dreidel metaphore is dead on. I like how you say so much in so few words and how you can recount the events of the Tritter arc and still have them feel fresh.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 02:18 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Thanks. I'm glad you said that, because what worried me most about this little piece was how much of it seemed like plot summary.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 12:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elynittria.livejournal.com
Wonderful story, and the dreidel metaphor is perfect. I also liked the following line:

    A celebration of perseverance despite certain disaster.

The image works beautifully as a description of Wilson's loyalty and love.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 02:29 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Thank you. I was hoping people would make that connection. I'd wanted to do a plain old Hanukkah fic but ended up with this angsty little thing, so I was glad in the end to be able to tie in what's been going on (or will hopefully be going on) between Wilson and House to the "miracle" at the core of the holiday.

!!!

From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com - Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 10:53 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 12:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirdblindmouse.livejournal.com
Pairing: None. Wilson and House friendship, or lack thereof.

*weeps* Er, I'll read this fic soon as I catch up with this season.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 02:32 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Cool. Don't worry -- things may get rocky, but the intelligent viewer can see the love (and desperation) strong as ever behind what they do.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 12:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] livelove423.livejournal.com
What a perfectly fitting idea. I love it.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 02:33 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 12:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jestana.livejournal.com
This is so wonderful. Absolutely perfect! Adding this to my memories.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 02:40 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
High praise indeed. Thanks, and glad you enjoyed it.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] jestana.livejournal.com - Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 04:47 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 12:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] empressaurelius.livejournal.com
*Sniffs* Gaaaah, this is BEAUTIFUL, a great and appropriate take on Hanukkah. ^____^

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 02:30 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
*pats sympathetically* Thanks muchly. I'm glad you think it does the holiday justice. There's far too little Hanukkah fic out there!
(deleted comment)

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 02:41 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Thanks so much. I agree that what Wilson did was probably the best thing he could have done, but that doesn't make it any less painful.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 12:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fatalisticrebel.livejournal.com
It's wonderful writing like this that will tide me over until January 9.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 02:53 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
What a nice thing to say. Thank you, and I'm glad you liked it. Hopefully when we come back from the holiday break, things will start looking up.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 01:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daasgrrl.livejournal.com
Oh, that really worked. I wondered how you going to do it, but it all fit really well. I particularly liked "Nun". I also loved the tiny but perfect moment which may not exactly be a miracle, but probably feels a little like one to Wilson right now.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 02:59 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Yes, that's it exactly. What beautiful phrasing. It's so sad to think that he's in such a dark place that a simple acknowledgement from House can make everything else seem possible.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 01:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewlisian-afer.livejournal.com
What a freakin' cool concept. And, as always, wonderfully written. Seriously, I want to just ... steal your brain. :: kermit-flails and fangirls ::

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 02:56 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
:D Thanks. It was a little too exciting when I came up with the dreidel idea while pondering how to do a Hanukkah fic before the holiday's over.

I would take exception if you stole my brain, but you know it's available on tap anytime you like.
(deleted comment)

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 05:44 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Thank you so much. I agree that there's an awful similarity in the give-and-take games between the dreidel and the two of them. Lately, though, things have devolved so much in House's life (and consequently, in the lives of those around him) that you can hardly call it a game anymore.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 02:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] namasteyoga.livejournal.com
Very nice. I especially like the comments within the second section (Gimmel?) in which he notes that his move to save House may kill their friendship. A lot of people have wondered what Wilson would have done in Stacy's position. Perhaps this is his version of her decision during the infarction -- saving him at the risk of losing him.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 05:58 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Thank you. I hadn't (consciously) made the connection between Stacy's infamous decision and Wilson's actions lately, in his choices to make a deal with Tritter and his to leave House on his own in his apartment, but I absolutely agree. House had a similar reaction when he discovered that Wilson had gone behind his back and taken control away from him to when he found out what Stacy had done (and in the post-shooting hallucination, what Cuddy had done). It would be a wonderful, wonderful thing if this time, when the mess Tritter stirred up has settled, he'll realize that the supposed traitor was acting out of love, with his best interests at heart -- in other words, that he'll treat Wilson better than he treated Stacy after the infarction.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 03:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] topaz-eyes.livejournal.com
It may not be a miracle, but it's a start.

I like how you outline the whole spiral downwards, so vivid and succinct, and intimate how it's going to come up again for both House and Wilson. I really think it has to. Nice work.

Date: Dec. 21st, 2006 05:29 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Thanks. House and Wilson's fall to rock bottom has been painfully enjoyable to watch, even if it's sometimes confusing or implausible, and I'm really looking forward to seeing how they climb back up. If it involves an effort at pain management and a cautious reconciliation like what happened here, I'll be very happy.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 04:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zulu.livejournal.com
Excellent structure, very elegant. I like.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 05:46 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Thanks. I was thinking of what I said to you about how the last lines of drabbles need an extra "punch" as I wrote these.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] zulu.livejournal.com - Date: Dec. 21st, 2006 10:30 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 05:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stephantom.livejournal.com
Wonderful. A great idea. Each of the words from the dreidel worked perfectly as a title for each drabble. "Do Nothing" captured what must have been going through his head there very well. I loved this.

Date: Dec. 21st, 2006 05:44 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Thanks -- I'm very glad you like it. And you're the first one to acknowledge that they're drabbles, so thanks for that! "Do Nothing" (originally just "Nothing") popped into place first; House thinks he has nothing, and Wilson does nothing -- but for good reason, dammit. "Take Half" was by far the hardest.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 06:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bloodanna.livejournal.com
*sighs happily* This? Is perfect.
Nun is my favourite, hmm, chapter, I guess? It shows how he feels and makes it work without being over-dramatic or self-righteous.
And the end line just makes the whole thing.
I'm really glad I got a chance to read this.

Date: Dec. 22nd, 2006 02:46 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Thanks. I'm glad you liked it, and that the balance worked so Wilson is sympathetic without being melodramatic.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 01:50 pm (UTC)
ext_7700: (how hot is this man)
From: [identity profile] swatkat24.livejournal.com
Oh, Wilson! This is beautiful - Wilson *is* Judas, but he does it for love. The fourth one particularly hits hard.

Date: Dec. 22nd, 2006 09:15 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
That is just a perfect reaction. Thank you! I also think Wilson went to Tritter and then walked out on House out of love for his friend. He knows House won't get any better if he keeps helping him.

Date: Dec. 20th, 2006 05:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vitawash24.livejournal.com
Wow, so cool. When I kept seeing the menorah ornaments, I wondered if there was supposed to be a Hanukkah metaphor in there, too. I think you found it. :) You really get what I think we were supposed to get about Wilson - his desperation, how much he cares for House but knows that he might have to give him up. Lovely.

Date: Dec. 22nd, 2006 09:23 pm (UTC)
ext_2047: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com
Thanks so much. I'm glad all of that came through. [livejournal.com profile] namasteyoga was saying up above that Wilson in this arc has been working through a similar decision to the one Stacy faced back when House had the infarction: whether to risk their friendship/relationship for the sake of saving House himself.

I loved those couple of glimpses of Hanukkah ornaments too. :) The metaphors, they are everywhere. House has fun with them, so why shouldn't we, right?
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