Return of Memoryfest - Day 15/31

[bironic]

15. Elementary School

A group of us had a sleepover at my friend K.'s house when we were about ten years old, the sort of party where we'd practice "light as a feather, stiff as a board" levitation games before settling in to watch movies and play "truth or dare" till we all fell asleep. That particular night we watched My Girl. I'd seen it before and I'd read the book, but I still cried at the end, sort of helpless hitching little breaths and tears. My friends laughed at me.

(It was embarrassing but not traumatizing. Still, sometimes I wonder whether what happened that night has to do with why I try my utmost not to cry at movies when someone else is there.)

WTF

Comments

[roga.livejournal.com]

The one sleepover that will forever be etched in my memory is from fourth grade. It was my ninth birthday and my mom had organized a surprise party plus sleepover at my house, also inviting E, the most unpopular girl in the class, who lived in our neighborhood. I had returned from three years abroad a few months before so I didn't completely understand why she wasn't liked, but I went along with everyone else. At my party the other girls laughed at her for being a scared baby during the night, and finally, in the morning, they threw her stuff and her sleeping bag outside and locked her out. I didn't actively participate, but I didn't stop it either.

I felt pretty ashamed when it happened, but the older I got, the more horrified I was at the memory. Two years later we moved and I lost touch with almost everyone there, but it never stopped bothering me.

Fast forward to two years ago, when I was looking at lists of cadets who were training at my base for a work thing, and noticed that one of them was from where I used to live, and had a familiar last name, further investigation revealing that he was her younger brother. With a mixture of dread and anticipation I waited for the military equivalent of parent-teacher day, and when his family finally showed up, E was there as well. I walked up to her and asked if she remembered me, and after a moment she did, and for ten minutes I stood and apologized profusely for my behavior in elementary school. She was very gracious about it and kind of embarrassed, I think, and said that she hadn't been an angel herself and we were only kids, which I pointed out wasn't an excuse. We parted on friendly terms, and I spent the rest of the day feeling like an enormous load had just been taken off my chest.

Closure feels good.