Remix Fic #2: Coming Into Focus (The Director's Cut Remix) [House/Wilson, R]

[bironic]

Title: Coming Into Focus (The Director's Cut Remix)
Pairing: House/OFC, House/Wilson
Rating: R
Word Count: 3,000
Spoilers: Takes place between "No Reason" (2x24) and "Meaning" (3x01), with spoilers for "No Reason."
Summary: House is looking for meaning, but maybe it's been right there beside him the whole time.
Original story: Looking Right Past by topaz_eyes
Notes: Section titles taken from Bruce Cockburn's "Bone in my Ear." Topaz, I owe you so much for inadvertently turning me on to his music.
Betas: Big, big thanks to nightdog_barks for sticking with me all week and answering question after question, daasgrrl for enthusiasm and beta on two drafts, perspi for providing the last-minute tie-breaking vote on the ending, and synn for encouragement as always.

( Meaning through relationships, faux-Wilson told him. )


My pinch-hit. (Probably none of you are surprised; I think this story has "me" written all over it.) From conception to completion in five evenings and lunch breaks. Never again! Heh. No, the process was fun in its craziness, and there wasn't much time for second-guessing or agonizing, which was an interesting experience. I was thrilled to have been assigned topaz_eyes, who convinced me to join the Remix in the first place. And I'm happy with this fic, although who knows how it would have turned out—or even if I'd have chosen that story over another of Topaz's fics—if I'd had more than a week to work on it.

I decided to remix "Looking Right Past" because I loved it when topaz_eyes posted it and wished there'd been more. Expanding the eight drabbles into a 3,000-word story—hence "Director's Cut"—was the ideal remix format for me. I didn't feel the need to go in there and mess around with everything or even to change the POV. Sometimes I did wonder what I was doing, borrowing so heavily from a great fic that had already said what I was saying much more economically, but eventually the story came together, and it had enough new material and detail and good lines and yummy-squishy House/Wilson moments that it felt satisfying.

And anyway, if there'd been lingering doubt that the story was decent and not too derivative (which, okay, there was), topaz_eyes's fabulous, squeeful, analytical post took care of it. :D

I chose the lyrics from "Bone in my Ear" because originally I'd wanted to flip around what topaz_eyes had done—title it "Focus On" from "Spring Song," which she'd used for drabble titles, and pull the section titles from the song she'd used as her story title. The title idea didn't quite work out, but the lyrics fit beautifully.

I knew right away that I wanted to show House's fantasy of a relationship with Wilson in "In my heart there's an image / Like looking through glass," and that the section for "I don't like it when / I can't tell which is true" would involve an uneasy or frustrated House mulling over whether Wilson was with him out of love or his supposed needing-neediness complex. I also knew I wanted to move the first drabble to the end (I like ends at the end, and it allowed the foreshadowing) and combine the three "run-on" drabbles in the middle into a single section (now possible without the limitations of a drabble), and then the rest of the lyrics fell right into place: "keeps singing your name" for House being unable to get Wilson out of his head when he wakes up from his ketamine coma all ready to make a change in his life, pleasure/pain for the hooker trying to bring him pleasure through sex but House's body resists even though his leg has been healed, and so forth.

The line, "Could be looking at me / Could be looking right past" was important, because that's where the original story's title came from. To me, the title "Looking Right Past," along with several lines in that story, pointed to House's fear that Wilson wasn't seeing him. So that's not only the origin of the moment during the sex scene where House makes sure Wilson's there with him, it's also how I derived the title. Wilson isn't looking past him, he's right there, coming into focus, just as House's entire life is focusing as he wakes from the ketamine coma and also from the pain-filled haze that was the six years after the infarction.

(Despite topaz_eyes's splendidly meta analysis of the "Coming Into Focus" part of the title and the decision to use lyrics from "Bone In My Ear," I didn't mean to imply that the remix was somehow a more evolved version of the original. In fact, much of the time I kept wondering why I was doing this remix when she had said it all already, and in so few words. Then I remembered why I'd picked it in the first place.)

Also, Topaz, I have to confess, I didn't know you have a fondness for belly-stroking. Either I picked that up from having just saturated myself with your entire oeuvre, or we simply share a love of soft Wilson-stomach. :)

There's more to say, but I'm a bit written-out—and there is commenting to be done! *makes flying-superhero "Awayyyyy" gesture*
 

Comments

[nightdog-barks.livejournal.com]

*grins*

As I said before, the pleasure was all mine.

Perhaps I will do this next year. It would be quite fascinating to see something of mine remixed.

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

Hello there. :-)

I can't tell you how thrilled I was/am/always will be with your splendid remix. And to know that I brought another Bruce Cockburn convert into the fold. *g* Isn't he marvelous? I first really started listening to his music in undergrad, but his music's been around as long as I have. I love his work from the 1970s. I was sort of "meh" on his 1980s political songs, but then he started melding his influences in the 1990s.

I--rather suspected you wrote "Coming Into Focus". :-) You'd posted that you'd been assigned another fandom for your first assignment, and that you were doing a pinch-hit that you much preferred over your original. Knowing your current penchant for writing House-fic, I figured you'd gotten a House pinch-hit. You'd said something else about feeling bad for those who got pinch hits, in reply to my comment that for all I knew, I would get one. *g* I sorta put two and two together when I saw when your pinch hit was posted. I didn't want to say anything, in case I was wrong, but I was 99% certain. And I was correct! :-D And just so you know, you never had to worry. The pinch hits in this challenge are as accomplished as anything else written. In some ways I think they're better, because lack of time has a way of focusing the writer.

I had no idea which story of mine would be used for this year's Remix. I thought, most likely it would be one of the umpteen drabbles I have. I'm glad you chose "Looking Right Past." I never did post it outside of my LJ and archives. I think at the time, the comms were being flooded with song title drabbles. So it was a rather sheltered little story.

I was thrilled at how you took the story and expanded it, and even more important, how you made it stand on its own. The most poignant section, I thought, was House's fantasy of how their relationship would work. That plus the juxtaposition of the reality, gave a great one-two hit. With such lovely imagery, and a breathless, flowing rhythm. Really.

I also knew I wanted to move the first drabble to the end (I like ends at the end

Hee! I like to start at the end! :-P Or, more correctly, I like to have the ending of the story first, so I know where I'm heading when I write the rest of it. I really liked how you took the first drabble, and changed its intent just enough to make the story bridge the second and third seasons. While in the original House looks back, in the remix he looks forward, and it is beautiful and poignant in what it foreshadows.

And, no, of course you didn't imply that the remix was more evolved! The drabble form is so condensed though, that there isn't much room for anything more than broad brush strokes. You took the sketch and rendered it into a full, detailed, breathtaking painting. And that is--awesome. Indeed.

And yes, I also want to shout out to your betas! They were fortunate enough to watch this lovely story develop. (And I'm curious--what sort of questions do you allude to? *g*) Remix is my favorite challenge, and I am so fortunate to particpate in it, and receive this story in return. So--yeah. So much love. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Oh, so many little questions. Like "Does this sentence sound right?" and "Does this bit here make sense?" and "Isn't this disjointed?" and "Does this part work AT ALL?" and most critically, "How should it end?" I waffled for a while on whether to add two lines to the end about House not wanting reality to be wrong. But it didn't work, as people pointed out, and that idea ended up going into the next-to-last section before the semicolon in the bit about him waking up to find it's all the same hallucination.

Isn't he marvelous?

I'd heard a few of his songs on the radio but wasn't much moved. Then when I decided on "Looking Right Past" for the remix, I downloaded those two songs straightaway and loved them, and added two more right after ("Bye Bye Idi" and "Closer to the Light"). I had no idea his style was so varied and that his earlier stuff was like Nick Drake and Gordon Lightfoot, both of whom I love. So yay! Thanks.

I--rather suspected you wrote "Coming Into Focus". :-)

Hee. Not much suspense there, I guess. I probably shouldn't have posted about doing the pinch-hit, but I thought the enthusiasm might put people on the trail of SGA, since I've been squeeing about that lately. The comment about feeling bad for people who get pinch-hits was supposed to be generic! And I wanted to backdate the story post to be less obvious, but Musesfool urged against it. *shrug*

I had no idea which story of mine would be used for this year's Remix. I thought, most likely it would be one of the umpteen drabbles I have.

It's funny, the first story I thought of that would be awesome to remix turned out to be your safe story, so there went that idea. I couldn't have done it justice in a week anyway. The same thing happened with your other longer stories, like the one that takes place after "Histories" whose title I can never remember. "Looking Right Past" was juuuuust right.

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

The Bruce Cockburn songs that play on the radio are his more "radio-friendly" ones like "Wondering Where The Lions Are" (that was used on ER a few years back) or "Lovers in a Dangerous Time". Most of his songs aren't Top-40 material, which is fine by me.

And, if you ever get a chance to see him in concert, go.

musesfool was right about not back-dating: that would've given it all away. :-) Another person on my f-list had also mentioned she was writing a pinch-hit, and felt very similarly about it as you did. I told her that pinch-hits are just as good as anything in the Remix challenge, so not to worry. It's funny, I thought I mentioned that to you too, but I didn't. Hmmm. I was going to. I guess it was one of those odd random coincidences.

I remember thinking last year, that it would be awesome if somebody remixed "Relevance". (That's the title, BTW. *g*) It's all in Wilson's POV so it would be neat to see House's. But, it's the Remix author who has to be happy with her choice. Glad to know that "Looking Right Past" was just right for you. And I'm thrilled for you, at the response it's had. It's probably had at least 300 hits so far. I'm still grinning from ear to ear. :-)

[bironic.livejournal.com]

300 hits? How d'you figure? (Yay grinning!)

"Relevance" would've been very challenging and hopefully satisfying to remix. It was down to those two at the end, but again, given time constraints, "Looking Right Past" won out. And I'm very happy with that.

Definitely keeping an eye out for Bruce Cockburn concerts locally. I think he came to the theater in our town last year or the year before, when I didn't know better. :)

Funny, yeah, I noticed even in iTunes that his most popular downloads weren't the ones that were grabbing me. But I think in fandom we're all used to liking things that aren't popular.

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

300 hits? How d'you figure?

The archive site my fics are on (The Archive At The End Of The Universe) isn't a very busy site. I can track hits for each of my stories there. Before Remix/Redux V started, "Looking Right Past" had maybe 9-10 hits; certainly no more than 20. Today, that story has over 340 hits. I figure most of those are from readers who were curious about how your remix differed from the original. The same thing happened with "The Game Of Wilson" last year on The Archive. It didn't have many hits either, until Esse's remix of it came out. Which suggests, people liked the remixes very much. :-)