"Holy migrating nipples, Batman!" (On writing my first House MST)

[bironic]

So I wrote my first MST* this week. I feel kind of bad about that, because the practice is mean-spirited and I believe that constructive criticism and offers of help are a more healthy solution to bad!fics than poking fun at them. But I guess all it takes is the right fic at the right time to overcome one's reservations, et voila -- 12,000 words (7,000 of which are mine) of the House cast having fun with a cringe-worthy slash fic.

*Modeled after the TV show Mystery Science Theater 3000, there's an LJ community for posting what are essentially role-playing commentaries where two or more House characters heckle awful pieces of fanfiction (with title and author removed for some measure of identity protection).

catilinarian and I first discovered this gem last Tuesday, as you may recall me mentioning, and I started writing the MST the next day. Living with something for five days means you have absolutely no idea whether any of it is funny by the time you post it (pretty much, the more recently a joke has gone in, the more likely I am to think it's amusing), but people's reactions have been very satisfying so far. A ton of credit has to go to daasgrrl, who answered my call for a beta, looked over two complete drafts this weekend, helped streamline the characterization, wisely ordered me to keep Foreman's grammar complaints to a minimum, provided some fabulous one-liners, and most important, pushed me to follow through on all the jokes. Most of the extended gags wouldn't be there without her influence. If I did author's notes like nightdog_writes, I'd say, "Beta: Daasgrrl, who said, 'PUNCHLINE!'"

I've posted it to house_mst under friends-lock and am linking to it here, but that's all I'm going to do, because the author of the original story has commented on my fics before and I feel uncomfortable publicizing the fact that I've torn apart one of her stories without (a) permission/notice or (b) asking if she wants beta assistance (I don't have the time).

And so without further ado, I present to you:

( The Misadventures of Inarticulate!House and Dom!Wilson (In Two Parts) )

ETA: Post is now friends-locked, so you need to be a community member to see it. Or email me.

p.s. this is my first MST so be gentle!!1! lol won't write anymore til I get 15 reviews

Comments

[perspi.livejournal.com]

Yes, perhaps the practice is mean-spirited. But oh, the funny it can bring. Especially when it's done well, with the running gags and the great characterization on the part of the MST-characters, which you nailed.

Kinda makes me want to put my first ever Housefic story up to be MST'd. Or write a story for MST-ing. Hmmmm.

[nightdog-barks.livejournal.com]

Or write a story for MST-ing.

Y'know what might be funny? A bad!fic in which all the ... er ... parts have their anatomical names but the characters are referring to them in the purplest of prose.

Wilson gasped, rubbing the head of his penis (commonly known as the glans penis) against House's perineum. The corpora cavernosa slipped back and forth along the delicate skin, occasionally encountering the wiry hair of House's scrotum.

"Oh, House!" he moaned. "I can't take much more of this! My love rocket is engorged and throbbing with beatitude!"

Or ... something. Hee.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

*makes a sound perhaps best transcribed as "snerf"* Throbbing with beatitude.

For a minute there, I thought you meant an MST where the bad!fic used anatomical terms and the characters used purple prose completely seriously. I'd attempt an example but it seems I'm all funnied out for the day.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

MSTing is funny. And I am mean, at least when it comes to making fun of poor writing. But I'm used to being mean privately -- either in my own head, or to friends, or via email -- so posting that felt weird and a little wrong. But only a little. :D And thanks!

Or write a story for MST-ing.

Wasn't that a suggestion at karaokegal's Halloween party? Write deliberate badfic and MST it?

Do you really think your first story would be bad enough for an MST? Although, really, stories of any caliber can be picked apart in some way or another, depending on the tastes and abilities of the parodier.

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

Wasn't that a suggestion at karaokegal's Halloween party? Write deliberate badfic and MST it?

Yes, it was. And AFAIK, still is--I think she's planning on hosting another round this year.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Ooh, yay. Maybe if I get started on something now, I'll be able to have a costume this year. :)

[thirdblindmouse.livejournal.com]

Hehe. Be assuered, it is very funny.

I suppose the practice is somewhat unkind (and horribly obnoxious if the critic has as bad understanding of a subject/point as the person she's critiquing), but what mostly bothers me is calling it "MST"-ing, as if that show invented talking back to bad movies.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Huh. I hadn't thought about that aspect of it. I'm sure -- by which I mean "I dearly hope" -- people don't think MST3000 invented movie heckling, but it was probably an accessible pop culture reference to name the community after and a quick way to explain what the process was all about.

Also, thanks!

[thirdblindmouse.livejournal.com]

I've seen the term used elsewhere, and bothers me the way audiences chanting pre-conceived responses in unison to The Rocky Horror Picture Show do. There's something unsettling about spontaneity being denied or only practiced with authorized precedent and within authorized settings.

I've seen some of the MST3000 show, too, and joking around with friends in real life is a lot more fun (and funny) than watching filmed robots do it.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

*gasp* You naughty girl! LOL. I can understand the compulsion both to write and to hide.

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

Yes, it's mean to MST anything, but OTOH, some of these authors almost beg for it. If they're going to post these without fixing at least the obvious mistakes, well, in my book, they'd better be prepared for the reception. They need to learn sometimes that they are not God's gift to writing, no matter what their mommies and buddies tell them. Because it's almost always those who think they *are* God's gift to writing, who won't listen to any well-founded criticism or advice, who deserve it the most.

And yes, that's harsh, but that's the real world sometimes. Besides, we all need to learn not to take ourselves so seriously. :-)

[bironic.livejournal.com]

So they're asking for it, eh? Actually, I agree, at least insofar as people should want to improve and be helped to improve and understand that they can improve; it's just that it feels different now that I'm in a community and the original fic's author is in the same community. The text doesn't quite exist on its own that way. I'm more aware of the person behind the thing I'm making fun of, and it niggles at my conscience in a way it wouldn't have if I'd picked some story off ff.net or a random personal website where I'd never heard of the writer.

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

Yes, some are asking for it, IMHO. Those who post stories with "I suck at summeries", or "I wrote this during math class LOLOL," absolutely deserve it.

Maybe I'm not as generous as I used to be about bad!fic. (Was I ever generous about bad!fic? That's another question.) Thing is, these people are reading and commenting on good fanfic. So they should, theoretically, know better. Yet it didn't even look like the author did a spell-check.

If you hadn't MSTed this fic, someone else probably would have anyway. If you had found this fic on ff.net first, and learned later it was by author X, would you feel any differently now? What's done is done. We've all posted things we later regret. If you feel you need to apologize to the author and do penance by beta'ing her fic, that's up to you. If she truly is interested in improving her writing, she will look beyond this MST, hopefully even learn from it. If not, just chalk it up and move on.

[catilinarian.livejournal.com]

I suppose you could say the practice is a bit mean, but it's no meaner, really, than parodying a published author's work. I think that if you post something in a public forum/community/archive, you do have to be prepared for some criticism. It's noble to want to help authors improve, and there's certainly a less formal relationship between a fanfic author and her readers than between a published author and her readers, but at the same time, fan communities aren't the same as writing workshops. People aren't (or shouldn't be) presenting unfinished pieces for constructive criticism; they're presenting finished works to be taken on their own merits. Basically, I'm saying that I think you can criticise or even mock a story without feeling an obligation to help the author personally.

It does make me feel vaguely grateful that I never posted the Babylon 5 slash I wrote at seventeen, though. :)

Please could you email me the MST? As I was one of the first to revel in the sheer badness of the raw story? ("What do you mean, House jumped, not expecting the other man to be behind him? Wilson's only been there for like fifteen minutes!")

And as a random note - I don't think that anyone believes MST3K made up the tradition of heckling movies, but it did add a unique twist: people realised it could be entertaining to watch other people heckling movies, even when they couldn't join in themselves. Or even that it could be fun to heckle the hecklers (as I'm sure no one watches MST3K in respectful silence). So, in a way, MST-ing a story does draw directly on that tradition.