Mission reports in 17 easy syllables

[bironic]

So Pru was talking about how Sheppard must write totally unhelpful mission reports such as "We went to the village. There was a pony," and her examples got me thinking about him writing them up as haiku just to be difficult. Such as this one:

Bite got infected.
Briefly turned into a bug.
(I really hate bugs.)

(Oh, look, my word count for December just rose to 12.)

Anyone want to play? Any mission, from any character. Or do a patient-of-the-week case from House & co. We can play guessing games.... Come on, I need something to distract me while we're still here working when most of the rest of the country is at home....

Comments

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

From Wilson:

Broken-hearted man
of fire choked Cameron - hee hee.
House said sorry. YAY!

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Hee - I'm picturing that written with little heart-dotted "i"s in Wilson's diary.

Rabies case revealed
That Wilson has two brothers.
Nice: a mystery.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

I do not use heart
dots, he said indignantly,
erasing madly.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

From House:

Red's not my color.
I'll make an exception for
him, matched with purple.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

I am stumped!

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Words & Deeds. Remember what House was wearing in the courtroom? YUCK.

[perspi.livejournal.com]

Genii invaded
Kolya wanted Atlantis
I did not agree

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Perfection

[bironic.livejournal.com]

:D The lack of punctuation makes it all the funnier.

Wraith made us see ghosts.
I shot Ronon and McKay.
Typical mission.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Who knew sitting in
a chair would lead to something
so out of this world?

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Aw.

Through the misty gate
We found ourselves on not-Earth.
Zombies were the key.

[perspi.livejournal.com]

I'm an arrogant
ass but it's not like I blew
up a sun--oh, wait.

(Also? This isn't helping me finish my story scene...)

[bironic.livejournal.com]

It was five-sixths of
a solar system; when will
you get over it?

(Sorry?)

[nightdog-barks.livejournal.com]

The haiku, I can't
Write it worth a tinker's damn.
I am put to shame.

Hee.

[perspi.livejournal.com]

You don't suck at haiku! You are awesome at haiku! And isn't having fun the whole point of this cheeky exercise? Hee!

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Your last two haiku
Belie that. Methinks you need
More confidence. Yes.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Which was the one where
they all wore collars? Haven't
seen it; sounds so hot.

[bironic.livejournal.com]

"Condemned."

Jumper brought down; team
taken hostage; bondage for
everyone. Hooray!

[roga.livejournal.com]

Carter's Log:

Today Sheppard wrote:
"Discovered new use for cuffs."
Should I even ask?

Today's report said:
"Rodney definitely gay."
Did not need to know.

Mission 9 Report:
"Aliens made us do it."
WHAT THE FUCK, SHEPPARD

[bironic.livejournal.com]

LOLOL

Cannot match hilarity at the moment

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Love the last line!

[daasgrrl.livejournal.com]

Christmas went quite well;
Food and family were fine.
But the Monk ep sucked.

I cannot believe
What you get up to in here
When I'm not around.

A day late, and your
Work is now done, but so what?
Still I must join in.

House offers Castle
But Wilson declines, takes Queen.
Stalemate yet again.

(Haiku fixations
Mean much counting on fingers
And odd, stilted speech.)

:)

[bironic.livejournal.com]

It's never too late
for haiku! Finger-counting
and all (not just me?).

"Daddy's Boy" is on.
House and Wilson are flirting
like mad while Chase smiles.

Wilson will find out
what House does with his cane when
he buys him dinner.

Too bad about the
patient; all that Ivy League
schooling gone to waste.

It was funny when
the law firm guy thought Cameron
was a hooker, though.

Must go back to work
tomorrow, alas. At least
we had today off.

[thirdblindmouse.livejournal.com]

These are wonderful. *+mems* Coincidentally, I've been writing to my mother purely in haiku all week (I don't think she's noticed).

(I'm not stalking you
backwards through time, unless you
count following tags.)

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Stalk me all you like!
It's always a treat when you
Stop by for a chat.

Also, that's awesome
that you've been writing to your
mom in haiku. *g*